Keyword "gatling"

Superman is allergic to salted popcorn, so he has to dump the popcorn all over the floor and use the bowl as a shit bucket. Lex Luthor's house is really really big, so big that not even Superman has time to speed over to the restroom. But the power of Superman's rectum shoots the diarrhea out so fast that the bowl breaks. Some of Superman's projectile shit gets on the scattered popcorn that is all over the floor. Lex Luthor's mother enters the room and thinks it's chocolate popcorn. So she takes off all her clothes and gets down on her hands and knees to eat the chocolate popcorn citing the 5 second rule. But Lex Luthor's mom is allergic to chocolate, so she picks up the broken pieces of the bowl and attempts to fit them back together on the floor, and then shits all over it. Lex Luthor is very upset that everyone is allergic to everything; and is even more sore that his new carpet is now a disaster. So Lex Luthor calls 1-800-STEEMER, for Stanley's Carpet Cleaning services.