TEST Space Fucker TEST part 00
Created on: July 9th, 2016
TEST Space Fucker TEST part 00
this is a test site for space fucker sites. they will be text based adventures. we all need to band together and start a patreon or kickstarter for Ardy to voice episodes. We need to raise $2,000,000 USD otherwise it;s impossible. I refuse to have Ardy's amazing sex voice valued at anything less. We also need yogurt supplies.


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July 10th, 2016
This is Dustin.


His hair is actually attached to his hat and he's never sure if he has a goatee or not, but he'll blindly get you a soda at any vending machine. Just make sure your dollars are crisp or use quarters.

This is Gerard.


He plays the timpani with a bowl on his head, in Vermont. I don't know if you can use a guy like that but if you say you need a major brand rootbeer that's not a pepsi product, not the one that sounds like a railroad, not the one with the dog on it, he'll get you the exact right thing. I trust this man with my life.

This is Donatello. His nickname is "Floppy"


Probably the most active candidate of the bunch. He doesn't like people so be warned. Kind of a shut-in. He can get you a soda as well as anybody else, but he's a little deaf, so you just have to yell into his ear. He prefers Mr. Pibb to Dr. Pepper, just a fair warning. You may have to just explain to him that "The Dr." is not for him its for you, and if he wants to spend his money on a BBQ cherry coke, that's his business.

But let's not call them a "Space Fucker Intern", or even a "Soda Intern for Space Fuckers". It's probably in everyone's best interest if the official title for this opportunity is, "Space Associate and Soda Listener in charge of facilitating operations in accordance to the official policies (via the space fucker)" I know its long but think of how that will look on their resume.

Also, I don't vouch for any of these guys.
July 10th, 2016
If you need an intern, just sayin
July 10th, 2016
You drive a hard bargain -- but okay, you convinced me. They're all hired. I have high hopes for Dustin and Donatello, but we'll mainly keep Gerard around in case a shooting breaks out. He looks like a good human meat shield. I too will trust him with my life, but I'm gonna push this to literal extremes. If Gerard survives the first week I'm gonna be disappointed. Also, the first week will be more of a training/hazing ritual, and I'm gonna be screaming and smacking sodas out of hands left and right.
August 14th, 2016
Your parties are as ever a triumph! I can only apologize for my late arrival.