Jesus > Xbox 360
Created on: August 31st, 2006
Jesus > Xbox 360
Jesus > Xbox 360
None ( ._.)

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Inbound links:

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117 http://www.digg.com/search?s=xbox+360+cooler
39 https://www.google.com.br/
35 https://www.google.com/
26 http://www.bing.com/search?FORM=IEFM1&q=www.jesusxbox.com&src=IE
9 http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=67&threadid=515

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<< 1 2 >>
August 31st, 2006
(0)
this is a parody just to make it clear... landoverbaptist is a parody site
August 31st, 2006
(1)
numba one
September 15th, 2007
(0)
Seriously, the answer to all those questions is "Yes."
August 31st, 2006
(0)
If only they could MAKE an xbox that turned water into wine. We could all get boozed and play games.
August 31st, 2006
(2)
can the xbox 360 watch you masturbate?
May 21st, 2007
(1)
Yes. Yes it can.
August 19th, 2007
(1)
xbox live vision camera
August 31st, 2006
(0)
i lol'd
August 31st, 2006
(-1)
Lol, crazy baptists
August 31st, 2006
(0)
rofl drive a rusty spike through it lol
August 31st, 2006
(0)
lol burn millions of people in hell
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Hahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahhaa Can the XboX 360 watch you masturbate? Can the XboX 360 survive after having enormous rusty nails driven through it?
August 31st, 2006
(1)
Jesus > xBox
August 31st, 2006
(0)
omfg lol! "can the xbox360 watch you masturbate?"
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Jesus didn't survive enormous rusty spikes either. He died. Also, did Jesus fly? I missed that part.
December 16th, 2008
(0)
Yeah, he was resurrected three days after dying and preached for a while and then ascended (flew) to heaven.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
lololololol
August 31st, 2006
(0)
crazy ppl ftw
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I liked the part about the kidnapping. lol, baptists
August 31st, 2006
(0)
all these features shall be implemented in the next update...
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Yes, yes it can
August 31st, 2006
(0)
http://leftbehindeternalforcesgame.ytmnd.com/ http://jesuskilledmygrandma.ytmnd.com/
August 31st, 2006
(0)
so, it was there, and now it's here?
August 31st, 2006
(0)
it won't let me 5 this.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
nvm
August 31st, 2006
(0)
HAHAHAH OH GOD> YES>
August 31st, 2006
(0)
for the motherland
(0)
It saddens me that some people can't tell this is a parody.
August 31st, 2006
(1)
a Nintendo Wii can do all those things and more.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
JESUS WATCHES ME MASTURBATE! Btw, the bible says nothing against masturbation.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Landover Baptist = win.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Can Jesus fly?
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Actually, with the right mods, my 360 now in fact CAN lead an army of christians into the final battle of armageddon. Modding rules. Oh and with the upcoming web cam, it can watch me masturbate too.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
can it turn water into wine? nope, but it can entertain just as well as any alcoholic beverage. burn millions of people in hell? nope, but halo 2 sure pisses off alot of people on earth.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
"JESUS WATCHES ME MASTURBATE! Btw, the bible says nothing against masturbation." FTW. I wonder if Jesus masturbated.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
F*ck Jesus, he sucks at Ghost Recon. However, Jesus IS fully backwards compatible.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I wouldn't be surprised if Microsoft was using the 360 to watch people Masturbate.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
well lets see yes it can AKA on #10 its called Halo but nice work...
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Kidnapping and Armageddeon! Happies!
(0)
can the xbox 360 FLY?!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
My Xbox 360 watches me masturbate all the time.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
August 31st, 2006
(0)
It can do all of that and MORE!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
can the xbox 360 watch you masturbate?
August 31st, 2006
(0)
OGROKTEHBASTARD > JESUS >> X-BOX 360
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Jesys never did that stuff. Did Jesus ever light on fire? I don't think so. Did Jesus ever over heat? I don't think so.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
WTF did Jesus fly?! :O And he watches when I masturbate? :'(
August 31st, 2006
(0)
jesus ftw
August 31st, 2006
(0)
rofl! can the xbox 360 watch you jackoff??? lol
August 31st, 2006
(0)
lololol
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Jesus can't either...
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Lol, the Xbox 360 flies when I throw it across my room.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
IT does float!!!!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
If Jesus watches me masterbate, he must be a homosexual. After all he never got married, hung out with 12 guys on a daily basis and washed the feet of a prostitute instead of making use of her. Some day I will prove your fabulousness Jesus, and so will begin a new era of chaos and homistocricy.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
1. Yes 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. Yes 5. Yes 6. Yes 7. Yes 8. Yes 9. Yes 10. Yes
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I like the way you took a sound intentionally meant to be funny from a satire site and added absolutely nothing to it.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
hahaha
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I think the Xbox 360 can do all of those things!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Xbox 360 ftw.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Awesome. I hope mine watches me mastubate.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Well number 10 works out i guess
August 31st, 2006
(0)
This is the best ever!!! No way! Top 15 all time... Instant Fad!! Internet gold!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
i love my xbox 360 its so nuce to me
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Who cares if this is fake...its great!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
"so, it was there, and now it's here?"Just like the rest of the internet
August 31st, 2006
(0)
those 10 questions should be the 360's add campaign, then followed by "yes, yes it can"
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Well, the XBox 360 certainly cant do any of that. Guess we'll have to wait for the Wii.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
downvoted for no reason
August 31st, 2006
(0)
lol
August 31st, 2006
(-1)
Downvoted cuz Jesus does not exist,it is just an image given to those who have hope of a better life after this 1.The truth is when you die you know what happens?You rot in the ground as your "Spirit" roams the earth.Religions are just scamms to get money like Scientology.Live your life without thinking there is a better life then now.When you go to "Heaven" can you drive?HELL NO!If you could there would be Sunday drivers everywhere!Dont spell check me either,you get the point.
September 26th, 2007
(0)
It's a parody, retard.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Chris Angel is the closest thing you will get to Jesus.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
lol baptists
August 31st, 2006
(0)
The X Box may not be able to do that... but neither can jesus OHH SLAMED!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
The 360 can do all of those things....
August 31st, 2006
(0)
The Wii is powered by jesus, so that's impastable.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Amen!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
jesus loves to wach me masturbate.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
ah yes. religion.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
LOL the answer to allthese questions is YES also c*cks
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I was going to say, "WTF baptists?" but the site is a parody site. I lmao at the masturbation question.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I gave it a 5. I don't know why my vote didn't show...
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I wish it wasn't a parody, then it would be funnier.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
1'd for trying to use "Google" as a source.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
^ how easily we forget yourethemannowdog.ytmnd.com
August 31st, 2006
(0)
also, that depiction of jesus watching you "personally abuse yourself" was disturbing.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Xbox 360 Pwnz!!!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Jesus sucked at Halo, his respawn time was like 3 days long.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
R O F L!!!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
the answer is yes my xbox can watch me jack it
August 31st, 2006
(0)
wtf can it fly? lol
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Jesus flies?!?!?!??!
August 31st, 2006
(1)
no, but chuck norris can.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I have totally been set straight
August 31st, 2006
(0)
The Xbox 360 is cooler than Jesus... it can fly and it can burn nillions of people (although not in hell) The xbox 360 probably could survive with spikes in it... the xbox 360 will help help me masturbate and tell me too constantly... it does offer me eternel life...with cheats ^_^ And the Xbox 360 wont just lead the army during armaggedon, it will STOP ARMAGEDDON!!!
August 31st, 2006
(1)
There's one thing the 360 can do that Jesus also can do: Save. :)
(0)
the awnser to all those question is yes
August 31st, 2006
(0)
f*ck jesus!!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
SHIMSHAM THEIR TALLYWHACKERS
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Don't let Microsoft hear this, they'll take it as a challenge.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Of course Jesus watches me masturbate. That's when he masturbates.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
1-yes 2-yes 3-yes 4-yes 5-no 6-no 7-yes 8-yes 9-maybe 10-its only a matter of time.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
only ceiling cat can watch you masturbate
August 31st, 2006
(0)
man, i laughed so hard xD
August 31st, 2006
(0)
"tidus9000: all these features shall be implemented in the next update..." agreed.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
stupid fanboy bullsh*t. f*ck you
(0)
my xbox can do all those things..but my 360 cant :(
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I was not impressed...
August 31st, 2006
(0)
man, it'd be gold if it was real :(
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Why are idiots downvoting this? Did you listen to it? This was the funniest thing ever. So funny I question if it is real. This made me laugh SO F*CKING HARD.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Our god is an awesome god
August 31st, 2006
(0)
LOL, not bad.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
hahahahahahaha XD
August 31st, 2006
(0)
maybe jesus can tighten up the graphics too
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Hell yes.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
no... I guess it cant do that... Its probably better that it cant...
August 31st, 2006
(0)
The Wii can do what Jesus, Buddah and Mohammad did all by using the Wii Remote and without a hard drive. Miracle gameplay is more important than graphics.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
CAN THE XBOX360 SURVIVE A VIRGIN BIRTH?
August 31st, 2006
(0)
why is masturbation and sex a sin.... if we make children that way then WTF.....
August 31st, 2006
(0)
LOL! LOL! LOL!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
f*ckin hypocrite, i bet he fapped when he was young
August 31st, 2006
(0)
The way you don't explain that it's a parody is sort of a douche move. It's just a bash to religion.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Made of win and all that good stuff
August 31st, 2006
(0)
The answer to all of his questions is YES!!!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
thats why im an atheist
August 31st, 2006
(0)
That kid was right. The Xbox360 IS cooler than Jesus. In fact, this old cardboard box is cooler than Jesus, and it doesn't even have the number 360 anywhere on it.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. You should have put a picture of Fred Phelps.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
I dont even care. No hope.
August 31st, 2006
(0)
Jesus is hard core!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
lol, 360 compared to diety
August 31st, 2006
(0)
the xbox360 can do all of these things!
August 31st, 2006
(0)
"shim sham their tally-wackers" omfg lawl
September 1st, 2006
(0)
CRUCIFY X BOX
September 1st, 2006
(0)
complete and utter sh*t
September 1st, 2006
(0)
Can the Xbox 360 watch you masturbate? ...so wait...god is...right now he is...well...ew.
September 7th, 2006
(0)
I think I would have 5'd it if it were real.
September 7th, 2006
(0)
"its not going to sit there out of concern as it watches you commit personal abuse" delightful!
September 7th, 2006
(0)
Crap > Jesus That guy is an idiot!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
i laughed, i cried, and i laughed again.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Xbox 360 is better than Jesus for one reason. Xbox 360 is real. Jesus is an imaginary character.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Is jesus a pedo if he watches children masturbate?
September 11th, 2006
(0)
my xbox 360 does walk on water though
September 13th, 2006
(0)
omg that was great
September 13th, 2006
(0)
LOL Jesus Wins!
September 13th, 2006
(0)
My XBOX 360 does all the above execpt watch me masterbate - it has more class than to watch me.
September 16th, 2006
(0)
wait, jesus can fly? sign me up!
September 16th, 2006
(0)
The Xbox360 very propably can do at least one of these things, unlike Jesus.
September 16th, 2006
(0)
"I'm sure it'll help millions of youngers shim shag their tallywaggers." LMAO Old Preachers FTW!
September 17th, 2006
(0)
F*ckin' Stupid
September 17th, 2006
(0)
lol, religion
September 17th, 2006
(0)
yes...the bible does say something about masturbating...wtf are u guys talking about...
September 17th, 2006
(0)
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Yes to all
September 17th, 2006
(0)
can you turn on jesus from your couch? i think not! PRAISE GATES
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Gets a 5 for "Shim-sham their tallywackers"
September 17th, 2006
(0)
#8 is creepy, but not as creepy as any real christian.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Pfft.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
I'm pretty sure Jesus can't do that either.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
September 17th, 2006
(0)
No. But a wii can.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Answer to all is: YES.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Oh, it floats. And can move that granite. LOL, mine glares at me when I masturbate.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
360> Ü
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Jesus flies? lol
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Jesus can fly?
September 17th, 2006
(0)
For what it costs, the PS3 better do at least 3 or 4 of those things.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
rant on masturbation ftw!
September 17th, 2006
(0)
I bet the Wii could fly.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
The X-Box 360 can do number 10.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Well at least the Xbox 360 is real. And this is the first time ive ever heard that jesus can fly.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Can the Xbox 360 endure a virgin birth?
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Shimshack your tallywacker.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
This is all kinds of insane.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
lame.. just yea not only is it fake, but its by far the stupidest parody anyway. I didnt even smirk..
September 17th, 2006
(0)
landoverbaptist ftl.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
holy crap....
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Shim sham their tatty-wackers!?!?! yaya i know...parody
September 17th, 2006
(0)
"and ye, Jesus did fly aloft on high to watcheth his brethren fapping." -God
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Sounds like Jesus is mad he got pwned on Live.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
lmao
September 17th, 2006
(0)
what a f*ggot, i'd actually like to murder that man and i wouldnt feel in the least bit remorseful, hell isnt real you old bastard
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Basically: Jesus > All > Xbox360
September 17th, 2006
(0)
that's why I strap a box of tissues ony MY xbox 360.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
I dunno if I'm voting for the site or for Landover Baptist, but it's pretty good.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Jesus > Xbox 360
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Wait a minute....Jesus can fly?
September 17th, 2006
(0)
No, but it can defiantly float.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
1) Some of Jesusí miracles were overrated. ;) 2) Can JESUS fly? 3) Most definitely. Overheating issues. 4) Jesus gave birth? 5) As long as you donít hit the processor. 6) It evaporates the water. 7) No but have you seen next-gen graphics?!? 8) I think Bill Gates watching me fap is creepier than Jesus watching me. 9) Beats 72 virgins! 10) Sounds like a great new concept! lol, child abduction!
September 17th, 2006
(0)
niiiiiice.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
My xbox 360 watches me masturbate...
September 17th, 2006
(0)
xbox > jesus... it can do all that...
September 17th, 2006
(0)
lol, wii can do all that and more!!111
September 17th, 2006
(0)
September 17th, 2006
(0)
GEEEEEESUSS.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
PERSONAL ABUSE LOL.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Actually the X-Box 360 CAN do all those things.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Also Jesus was a fake so Poop.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
yes the xbox 360 can survive anything, even crusifiction... Cant say that much for jesus >>
September 17th, 2006
(0)
Sumguy21 approves of this message.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
JESUS R0X!
September 17th, 2006
(1)
I didn't know Jesus could f*cking fly.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
"this is a parody just to make it clear... landoverbaptist is a parody site" in that case five
September 17th, 2006
(0)
is this audio serious?
September 17th, 2006
(0)
holy hell, best ever
September 17th, 2006
(0)
This was funny, but nearly all the posters above me forgot Poland.
September 17th, 2006
(0)
1 for lack of originality (you moved it from a parody site to here) and the fact that it's trendy to poke fun at christians in such a way but it's un PC to do so to other religions, which is quite annoying
September 17th, 2006
(0)
I get boozed and play videogames all the time
September 17th, 2006
(0)
wow..... u loved it
September 18th, 2006
(0)
ok... a parody.... someone like that is just a creep.
September 18th, 2006
(0)
can the xbox 360 exist? oh wait...i got it the wrong way around
September 19th, 2006
(0)
lol!
September 20th, 2006
(0)
Can jesus blow up a third world country with his power supply?
October 1st, 2006
(0)
lol the spikes
October 1st, 2006
(0)
omg lol!
October 2nd, 2006
(0)
I shim shammed my tally-wacker to this YTMND...
October 8th, 2006
(0)
PWNED
October 8th, 2006
(0)
Lol'd I did
October 19th, 2006
(0)
Wow, lol. 5ed for awesomeness? The PS3 needs to be able to do that stuff for 599 bucks....
October 25th, 2006
(0)
Landover makes me lawl. BUT! With the new Xbox 360 camera attachment it CAN watch yo masturbate
November 1st, 2006
(0)
Well then Xbox360>Wii>Dreamcast
November 1st, 2006
(0)
Xbox>Jesus
November 20th, 2006
(0)
no, I'm afraid only Jesus can do that. Lead us all into battle at Armageddon, cause he was REALLY into war....
November 21st, 2006
(0)
yes, the xbox 360 can do ALL of that stuff, thx microsoft
November 29th, 2006
(0)
haha even though you downvoted me, this sh*t is hilarious. I remember betty bowers and landover baptist from a while back.
December 1st, 2006
(0)
Yes.
December 9th, 2006
(0)
Did Jesus ever let me go on Xbox live to pwn noobs on Rainbow Six: Vegas? Nope.
December 9th, 2006
(0)
It...it... sounds like Jeus is an *ssh*le
December 9th, 2006
(0)
And to answer, no the Xbox can't do any of this. But it can provide you with kickass videogames that REPLICATE all these things, AND MORE
December 22nd, 2006
(0)
jesus is a c*nt
December 26th, 2006
(0)
couldnt stop laughing
December 29th, 2006
(0)
oh god, it sounds like seth mcfarlane XD
January 5th, 2007
(0)
lol wtf... wow thats sooo sad... this is why religions are noob clearly the 360 > jesus the xbox 360 exists now and i can play it jesus, has no awnser cept JOIN OR DIE!!!!!!! so ill play with the xbox
January 29th, 2007
(0)
lmfao
February 1st, 2007
(0)
My xbox 360 watched me fap to this ^_^.
February 10th, 2007
(0)
At least XBOX360 doesn't have followers how pretend that a halo is everything.... Oh Wait....
February 22nd, 2007
(0)
Win.
February 25th, 2007
(0)
Religion SUCKS! and yes the xbox360 is better
March 15th, 2007
(-1)
You See... I F**KIN HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT! IF AMERICA IS A LAND OF FREEDOM, WHY DO THEY F**KIN SAY THIS BULLSHI*! THIS MAN IS SAYING THAT IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE IN, THEY KILL YOU. WHAT BULLSH*T! THIS IS FUKIN BULLSH*T! FUK RACISM! THAT MAN SHOULD GO GET *SS RAPED BY A MULE AND THEN FUKIN SHOOTHIMSELF IN THE GOD DAMN HEAD! WHAT A DUCHE! THE WAY HE DESCRIBED JESUS, THE XBOX360 WINS BY A LANDSLIDE, HELL, EVEN THE PS3 WINS! ANYONE CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MUSLIMS,BUT NOT NE1 ELSE
May 28th, 2007
(0)
It's a parody you f*cking dipsh*t. God damn.
May 28th, 2007
(0)
Also, explain to me where he's a racist and why him saything these things, even though its a parody which, for some reason you can't f*cking understand, prevents america from being free? Your dipsh*t arguement holds no water.
(0)
Man, that kid who said the xbox 360 was cooler than Jesus was a dumbass, especially since there are barely any good games for xbox 360. After all, didn't the Bible say, there shan't be any systems cooler than Jesus that are manufactured by Microsoft?
May 29th, 2007
(0)
Jesus is better than the X-Box360, and I'm Baptist myself
August 10th, 2007
(0)
Wait, Shim-shamming my Tallywacker is bad!?
August 12th, 2007
(0)
wtf?!? Somebody needs to tell this guy that just because he likes to watch people masturbate doesn't mean Jesus does
September 26th, 2007
(0)
The xbox 360 doesn't have to float... just leave it on for a couple of minutes and it will boil all the water away :-/
October 24th, 2007
(0)
O.o um...XD
November 23rd, 2007
(1)
I'm pretty sure even jesus didn't survive number 5...
December 7th, 2007
(0)
Not real.
December 7th, 2007
(-1)
Can it turn water into wine? Of course not - what does he think it is, a Wii?
June 29th, 2009
(0)
I facepalmedd for 4 straight minutes
November 13th, 2009
(0)
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