Vending Machine Martyrdom
Created on: September 8th, 2006
Vending Machine Martyrdom
I myself am an Evangelical Christian and am not criticizing anyones YTMNDs or beliefs. Religious/philosophical discussion is fine, but this just isn't the place for that sort of thing. Remember that old saying about arguing on the internet?
None ( ._.)

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September 8th, 2006
(0)
FTW!
July 28th, 2009
(0)
This isnt a series of random accidents. This is a war between us and them.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Hm hm hm hm.... ha ha ha ha....
September 8th, 2006
(0)
I got my penis stuck in a vending machine once.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
^^^ LMAO
September 8th, 2006
(0)
but i like my soda...
September 8th, 2006
(-1)
F*ggy short film about sh*t I dont care about. 1'd.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
england prevails.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
sh*t
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Brilliant.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
A soda machine killed my father, and raped my mother! ;'{
September 8th, 2006
(0)
vending machines aren't at fault here, the people are. don't blame the lifeless chunk of metal when the idiot who's messing with it dies a dog's death.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Thought it was alright until you denouced people simply having discussions to come closer to some truth.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
^ Sorry, I forgot to turn on the sarcasm detector
September 8th, 2006
(0)
hhehehehe
September 8th, 2006
(0)
LOL this is what ytmnd is about!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
ABSOLUTELY agree, there are other places for religious debate. A little long, but funny. I'm tired of all the fighting WHERE IS THE LOVE, PEOPLE?
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Btw, how did u manage to come up with such a random idea?
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Excellent.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Deaths and injuries are never funny. If I wanted news I would go to CNN not YTMND. everyonefails.ytmnd.com
September 8th, 2006
(0)
You tell 'em, b2lskirnir!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Oh, I actually made a craptacular student film about this with some of my friends my freshman year of high school on the topic of "Organizations or Causes I Support." I think I got a B.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
I can't think of anything to say, I'm stunned speechless by the brilliance of this ytmnd.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
news is for USA Today, funny is for ytmnd
September 8th, 2006
(0)
5'd for handling a subliminal message in a non-preachy way. But it's only a vending machine is really only a threat if they die. :)
September 8th, 2006
(0)
HAY WHAT HAPPENS IF I PUT MY HEAD IN THERE??????
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Lol I live in Elkhart, Indiana! We're retarded
September 8th, 2006
(0)
"LOL"
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Real men play the claw game to save their sons! Oh, and -1 for Wikipedia as source
September 8th, 2006
(0)
A vending machine killed my father. ='(
September 8th, 2006
(0)
my dad long ago used to collect the blood money from theses machines. muhahahahaha
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Wow, someone who understands parody!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
as a school project i explained how claw machines were a big rip off to white trash and retards. muhahaha!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
I see what you did there.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
My spanish teacher once started ranting about how many people get killed by these things, i always just thought he was crazy till i saw this.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
winnnar!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Yes, I've had enough. We must declare these devil machines enemy combatants and place them in secret prisons where they get thier crotches mauled by dogs. What were we talking about?
September 8th, 2006
(0)
So why contribute to the argument?
September 8th, 2006
(0)
ever year millions die from aids...what are you doing to help?
September 8th, 2006
(0)
rofl dude thats funny as hell nice job
September 8th, 2006
(0)
You are a real American.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
If that one from Elkhart is truely from elkhart, I've played that crane game the kid was in! xD
September 8th, 2006
(0)
nice, i never knew children got stuck in claw machines
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Just noticed the domain name here, lol. A parody like this was sorely needed, thank you for making it.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
f*ck religion and 2nd of all why do i smell bullsh*t when it comes to vending machines beating shark attacks
September 8th, 2006
(0)
duuuurrr
September 8th, 2006
(0)
DRINK COKE LOL
September 8th, 2006
(0)
All I need is someone to sponsor this... then I might just die laughing.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
We are the vending machineists of YTMND. Get used to us.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/a/005445.htm For the one who questioned the sharks
September 8th, 2006
(0)
funny, I hoped on top of a popmachine and lift up and went nuts on it, while it said on a warning tag " do not climb, may cause death " and I am still writing this comment lol!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Both highly informative and pwnage of asinine dogmatic YTMND religious crap. Sweet
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Sarcastic. Clever. 4 stars for you!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
nicely done my friend.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
I really hate this f*cking song.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
September 8th, 2006
(0)
SHOG SMASH PETTY RELIGIOUS WARS WITH SATIRE
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Good. There are more chances of getting killed by a vending machine than by a stingray. Why aren't all these over-emotional retards talking about going out to destroy some vending machines? Or do we have to wait until some celibrity gets crushed by one?
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Keep guns legal! Decriminalization!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
he put his vending machine penis in my shark mother.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Why do people hump vending machines... you still have to pay for soda?!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Lol btw Vector (A.K.A. Vector1337) is a Communist from Belgium who wants to spread communism around YTMND. He upvotes all sites involving Communism (positively) and downvotes the sites that are hate towards communism. His sites are rated more than 2.00, and is a very nice guy that likes to share ideas with his buddy's. Vector's I.Q. is very high, and he doesn't like dumb people, even if it's not their fault they're dumb. His average voting is 4.33, and he voted on 5465 sites.-Copied Directly From His Wiki Profile
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Add derek smarts Vending machine war! Derek Smart and The Coke Machine Claims have been made to the effect that back in 1996, Smart attacked a Coca-Cola vending machine in the offices of publisher Take Two during talks with them over the premature release of his first game.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
I'm an athiest. Most athiests, like me, aren't trolls, and probably won't even mention religion until someone decides to try to "save" us.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
good job sticking it to the martyr.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
this is awesome. good song too and I know 1 of the people who broke the machines at Palos verdes high! his name is david gardner. and there were 3 others with him. damn rich kids
September 8th, 2006
(0)
"I see what you did there." At the end?! What is it?! It happens so fast! All I could see was a big coke logo. Someone say what it is please!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Omg this is so sad! All those poor martyrs ;_; What religion do I need to join to make me okay?
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Those bastards.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
OMG SEW SAD ;_;
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Derek Smart added :)
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Hahahaha.... well put sir, you win.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Or just bolt them to the wall... that's my highschool's solution to that.. well... people were stealing the vending machines
September 8th, 2006
(0)
lol wtf was that kid doing inside that mechine
September 8th, 2006
(0)
don't really care about what the site was about, but it had mad world-thus you get 5'd
September 8th, 2006
(0)
What does this have to do with religion? Who cares. They also kill more people than stingrays
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Vending machines never hurt me.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
I can't say I feel very sorry for those people
September 8th, 2006
(0)
I'm sure they would have lived out their life committing petty theft
September 8th, 2006
(-1)
bitch
September 8th, 2006
(0)
This one really made my day. I think I'm going to make flyers with this same message and put them on all the cars at a local church as retribution for some of the garbage they've stuck in my mailbox.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Erosion has killed more, if you count rockslides during rainstorms.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
i love the music. and is that subliminal messaging at the end? i thought so.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
amusing
September 8th, 2006
(0)
"So what can YOU do about it?" I can LOL =D
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Hilarious, also GREAT domain name.
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Not gonna persecute you for your religion. But i am sick of the stupi awareness YTMNDS. also a singular focus, not a f*ggy short film
September 8th, 2006
(0)
love it!
September 8th, 2006
(0)
Flawless. ^_^
September 9th, 2006
(0)
LOL
September 9th, 2006
(0)
You are unaware of how not funny you are and furthermore, you wasted your time. P H A I L!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
vending machine eats money and... Wait a minute! I want coke NOW ! lol, wikipedia
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Singular focus FTL: by using more than one medium to communicate a message (picture + sound + text) you are automatically eliminating any singularity.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
and... lol, BABYS IN VENDING MACHINES !!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5 for "dividing once semi-harmonius community with religion debate..."
September 9th, 2006
(0)
i was at work, and i wanted a coke, but the machine said it was sold out. i think the machine WANTS to hurt me
September 9th, 2006
(0)
whats with all of these "power point" like ytmnds all of a sudden? no matter, it's random and made me lol so, 5'd
September 9th, 2006
(0)
gimmie my mingus dew, jerkface!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
A solid 4.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
small kids in claw machines are always funny
September 9th, 2006
(0)
didnt make me laugh
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Auto-5 for the pics of the stupid kids in the machines. I think the real question with the young kids is "Where the hell were the parents?"
September 9th, 2006
(0)
How do you climb into a claw machine, but are unable to exit via the same means?
September 9th, 2006
(0)
so what the hell is the subliminal message at the end?! can someone with photo whatever its called find out
September 9th, 2006
(0)
well done
September 9th, 2006
(0)
win
September 9th, 2006
(0)
whatever he says, don't do it.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
To war my friends, we must crush the vending machine empire. CRUSH OR BE CRUSHED I SAY.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
uh
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5'd for "What you can do..." and subliminal ad.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
lol the coca cola subliminal at the end is great
September 9th, 2006
(0)
I actually go to Palos Verdes Peninsula High school, wierd huh? All of the vending machines are completely GATED. That's right, they're FOOD PRISONS, LOL. Wierd coincidence. :D
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Needs the "unfunny truth" music, other than that it kicks butt
September 9th, 2006
(0)
My GOD - these machines must be STOPPED. Doesn't anybody care ? Why don't those Washington fatcats DO something ? Are they ALL in the pockets of the all-powerful vending-machine lobby ? Why don't they THINK about the CHILDREN ?! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN ?! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN ?! WEEPING, I CRY UNTO A BLEAK, UNCARING HEAVENLY VOID, "IS THERE NO BALM IN GILEAD ?!" .... ... WHERE IS MY GOD NOW ?!?!?!?!?!?!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5 for lampooning the current pro/anti religion stupidity.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
you forgot the incident in 1993 when trooper butch duggan's hand was snared by a rogue coke machine which quickly exploded killing Mr. Duggan in the line of duty, we will never forget...
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Lol intresting concept... five'd for the nice choice in music... reminded me of one of my favorite movies and fitted well :)
September 9th, 2006
(0)
wow, neat.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
oh yeah, and any parent dumb enough to let their kid crawl into a claw prize machine should just give the kid away to whoever puts in the next quarter.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
now to be fair, you should have to get the kid with the claw before you win him
September 9th, 2006
(0)
It hurts my head to see how many idiots took this seriously. My vote raises from a 4 to a 5 for that alone.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
lol subliminal advertising
September 9th, 2006
(0)
If a kid is stupid enough to get inside in a vending machine, let nature take it's course.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Of course, vending machines do not attack unprovoked. They will only attack when people take the "push" sign too seriously. And this is not just news, this is research... funny research. Messing with vending machines is asking for trouble. If I died because I was messing with vending machines, I'd laugh at my own death. It was my own fault.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
2 for stating that you're an evangelical christian in the description. I was not interested, and arguing on the internet makes me beautiful.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
England doesn't have to worry about this. Jamie Oliver killed all of the vending machines.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
50 deaths? please
September 9th, 2006
(0)
I reading about one of the kids trapped in a claw machine on BBC news.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
I haves been convert-asized! Damn vending machines, probably no good Catholic Communists! PS. If you get one of those kids with the claw can you keep it?
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5d for bringing to light an actual problem people should be discussing. You failed to mention how many people go broke and starve because of claw machine addicition... poor uncle joe... Also, Mad Worlds a bad *ss song reguardless of what anyone else thinks. Just wish it was the Tears for Fears version :(
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Death by vending machine = own fault due to extreme stupidity. I loled!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
The vending machine is easy for an idiot to tip over. Apparently the parents weren't watching there kids when they tried to crawl into the machines (or didn't try to stop them). In short thies are examples of human stupidity trying to get something for free and getting hurt, maimed or killed over it. Leave it be and let evolution remove them from the gean pool
September 9th, 2006
(0)
◄Made me laugh. 5►
September 9th, 2006
(0)
people = stupid
September 9th, 2006
(0)
September 9th, 2006
(0)
"Thought it was alright until you denouced people simply having discussions to come closer to some truth." Then I lal'ed.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Up'D for Derek
September 9th, 2006
(0)
donnie darko ftw
September 9th, 2006
(0)
-1 for wikipedia source
September 9th, 2006
(0)
GJ making fun of the current stupid 8 year olds fighting about religion on YTMND.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Lol.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5'd for Palos Verdes...Even though I don't go to that particular school, I like hearing my hometown get referenced...even if it does have to do with f*cking up vending machines.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
I LIKE BUNNIES :D
September 9th, 2006
(0)
hahah
September 9th, 2006
(0)
LOLOL
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Very Well Done
September 9th, 2006
(0)
there, die laughing.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
absolute genius. you have reached the pinnacle of being the man now, dog. its so beautiful, its.... GODLIKE
September 9th, 2006
(0)
This is pretty f*cking sweet. Also, Jesus was a homosexual.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
nice idea lol
September 9th, 2006
(0)
i'd hate to see the statistics for this kinda thing in japan :D
September 9th, 2006
(0)
I don't really care; however, this was quite well done.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
It's funny, but it's serious about stopping vending machine deaths... So that gets a 1. Seriously, if you're a moron enough to get killed by a goddamn vending machine you're better off dead.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
superb execution. YTMND is just getting it's "Christian legs" right now. It was bound to happen, and I thank folks like yourself for helping to ease the transition. My hope is that YTMND's Christian community gets well-organized and funny, rather than scattered and argumentative. I will perhaps try to make a Danielson Familie YTMND or something if it helps... (not Christian)
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5 for donnie darko
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Sumguy21 approves of this message.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Penis. Also those ppl who died were problaly idiots.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Thank you for this important information and for being a voice of reason. And for Mad World.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
And this has WHAT to do with Religious/philisophical discussion? The fact that it seems you spent hours researching such a subject tells me you have way too much time on your hands.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
:'(
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Kinda like Christians who read the bible, huh, HighspeedAD? LOL!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Coke subliminal message ftw.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
You guys are so dense, show some respect to those who have died such that we may drink.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
+1 for being funny on a subtle level.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
subliminal message at end ftw!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5'ed for "Mad World"
September 9th, 2006
(0)
yes
September 9th, 2006
(0)
LOL @ the stupid *ss kids.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Gloria in Excelsis Cola. Five'd, hells yeah.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
rofl
September 9th, 2006
(0)
We can prove that God exists because humans made vending machines, therefore something (God) must have made humans.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5'd.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
last frame lawl!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Love the last frame. http://godlogic.ytmnd.com/
September 9th, 2006
(0)
i honestly found the song a lot more interesting than the image
September 9th, 2006
(0)
the moral is if you use the vending machine for its intended purpose no one gets hurt >_>
September 9th, 2006
(0)
I too fear the power of the vending machines.....the power of Skynet conquers us all....
September 9th, 2006
(0)
i think we need more vending machines
September 9th, 2006
(0)
And to think, the people participating in these Internet holy wars are the same people who coined the phrase "lol internet".
September 9th, 2006
(0)
The machines must pay.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Needs Captain Murphy from Sealab under the Bebop Cola machine for 5. Get to work!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
YESYES
September 9th, 2006
(0)
wtf lol if you are serious about this ytmnd then wow.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Stephen Colberts enemy is not more. America's new #1 greatest threat is... vending machines. Those bastards.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
A serious issue that must be resolved...
September 9th, 2006
(0)
WE CANNOT SIT IDLY BY!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
5 for the song
September 9th, 2006
(0)
ROFL I'M SPONSORED! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
September 9th, 2006
(0)
NAVM! *takes sip of coke bought from vending machine*
September 9th, 2006
(0)
you sir are a hero
September 9th, 2006
(0)
lol, parody.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
-1 star for the emo song. It is pretty creppy especially since Donnie dies to it.
September 9th, 2006
(0)
Boring. Donnie Darko sucked too, though that's not why you got a 1.
September 18th, 2006
(0)
Sad but true...
September 18th, 2006
(0)
You know what must be done. We must invade Vendingistan and make sure their VNDNG Machines dont harm anymore of our (or your) children! Send the US Army in to fight for a cause the world actually wants them to fight against! :D
September 21st, 2006
(0)
Ha!
September 22nd, 2006
(0)
I can't stand the religious sites that flood the Sponsored List sometimes.
September 26th, 2006
(0)
Yeah, it was good...until I found that little subliminal message at the VEEEEEERRRRRRRRYYYYYY end...f*cking coca-cola ad...
September 26th, 2006
(0)
Wow, the song has lyrics. Didn't know that.
September 26th, 2006
(0)
ROFL YOU'RE SPONSERED! YOU LOVE ME!
September 28th, 2006
(0)
I am evangelical about vending machines. I tried to save one at college once, and I tried to shake the evil out of it. I was rewarded with free Twix and Pop Tarts.
September 28th, 2006
(0)
Best part was "more than cats in ur stuff doing things."
September 28th, 2006
(0)
This has relations toward my YTMND. stickmanvending.ytmnd.com Not very long, and not of good potential, but still, its related.
October 1st, 2006
(0)
What the f*ck do "Religious/philosophical discussion", have to do with vending machines falling over? Besides, every little kid who climbs into a vending machine deserves to be there for some time. Their f*cking fault. No, wait! Let's waste more money to make them even More imposible to climb into! Bullsh*t.
October 1st, 2006
(0)
XD Haaha. Nice angry vending machine :D
October 3rd, 2006
(0)
You're lucky I like Tears for Fears so much because that subliminal coke message at the end nearly made me downvote you.
October 4th, 2006
(0)
http://bahbahbobop.ytmnd.com/
October 4th, 2006
(0)
LOL down with vending machi- wait, what?
November 17th, 2006
(0)
5
November 17th, 2006
(0)
5
December 23rd, 2006
(0)
Hehehe, kids in vending machines! -1 for music.
July 7th, 2007
(0)
It's ridiculous, yes... but not entirely ha-ha funny...
July 23rd, 2009
(0)
I HATE DEREK SMART