Lando is NSFW
Created on: November 29th, 2007
Lando is NSFW

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November 29th, 2007
(5)
Following the war, Lando builds a mining complex on the Nkllon - the hot inner planet in orbit of the star Athega - called Nomad City. The city consists of an old Dreadnaught carried across the landscape on the night side of the planet. The city always stays on the night side - as close as the planet is to the sun most materials would not last very long in direct sunlight. Custom builds shield ships with special cooling equipment so that ordinary ships could be protected from the Athega's intense heat on the trip inward. Calrissian's startup costs are high, but he makes a large profit from the materials he mined from the planet.
November 29th, 2007
(5)
later, he goes back to school to study financing, landing a high stakes job at a space accounting firm.
November 29th, 2007
(22)
Chewie began pumping his hips rhythmically, driving himself into Lando as far as he could go.
November 29th, 2007
(2)
I just fell for the trap.
December 1st, 2007
(3)
Massive damage!
November 29th, 2007
(5)
Nomad City is destroyed during Grand Admiral Thrawn's campaign against the New Republic, portrayed in The Thrawn Trilogy. When Emperor Palpatine reappears in Dark Empire and begins his own campaign against the New Republic, Calrissian rejoins the Republic's military at his previous rank. After Palpatine is finally destroyed in Empire's End, Calrissian leaves the military. When Kessel is abandoned following Grand Admiral Daala's attack on the planet, Calrissian takes over the planet, converts its prison into a mining complex, and mines spice from the planet for a number of years.
November 29th, 2007
(0)
Empire's End was a horrible, horrible comic. Almost as bad as the Glove of Darth Vader series.....
November 29th, 2007
(0)
I saw that at the local library. I wondered why it was alongside such classics as The Rescuers and Pippi Longstocking. Then I realized the librarian was a TOTAL IDIOT WHO PROBABLY WATCHED BARNEY WHEN SHE WAS FIFTEEN.
November 29th, 2007
(6)
During The Corellian Trilogy, Calrissian goes on a galaxy-wide hunt for a rich wife. The businessman, reasoning that marriage is partly a financial relationship, meets Tendra Risant from Sacorria, whom he marries. With Tendra's family's money and his entrepreneurial abilities, he opens a mining facility on the planet of Dubrillion on the Outer Rim. On the side, Lando unofficially runs an asteroid training facility for smuggler pilots, in order to improve their skills. He will also f*ck all of your mothers.
November 29th, 2007
(2)
All of that stuff you just said was awesome.
November 29th, 2007
(1)
Don't forget that his company is also the ones who built a series of battle droids that were successful in aiding in the galactic war with the religious fanatic Yuuzhan Vong.
December 2nd, 2007
(0)
It was later revealed in ancient Jedi texts that "The Force" is actually just a nickname for his penis.
November 29th, 2007
(1)
oh so that's what that is. I thought the nsfw system was to regulate sites with explicit content, my bad.
November 29th, 2007
(3)
Explicit being puppies, kittens, shampoo and anti-religious thoughts. Anti-semitic expletives welcome.
November 29th, 2007
(4)
No Sauce For Wiggers
November 29th, 2007
(0)
Being noisey is also explicit.
December 28th, 2007
(0)
No Sound F*ckWads
November 29th, 2007
(4)
Who IS safe around those furry warbling killing machines?
November 29th, 2007
(1)
Made me smile big time :D
November 29th, 2007
(1)
I'll just point out that while Episode 5 is the best one, ALL the movies are "the good one."
November 29th, 2007
(12)
I beg to differ. Ep 5 is "the good one," Eps 4 and 6 are the "pretty good ones", Ep 3 is "the a'ight one", and Eps 1 and 2 are "the horribly sh*tty ones".
November 29th, 2007
(0)
i support pharaohmobius' comment.
November 29th, 2007
(1)
I don't think beenyjoe81 was counting the "horribly sh*tty ones" as being "ones" at all, which would explain his comment.
(5)
let us not forget The Star Wars Holiday Special. Ep 1 is unfortunately awesome compared to the wookie christmas
November 29th, 2007
(2)
wheelyum: He didn't make that explicit, so I didn't assume that's what he meant. I learned a long time ago never to assume what other people might have meant, especially on the internet. fuzzhammer: Sure, SWHS was a train wreck. It's also non-canonical, which Eps 1 and 2 can't claim. Bea Arthur dancing with Greedo never happened in the "real" Star Wars universe (for whatever that's worth), but Jar-Jar and all his *ssh*lery did, as did midichlorians and Emo Anakin. Not that it's at all important, mind you.
November 29th, 2007
(2)
the Holiday special is horrible, but doesn't count. Episode 1 may not be my favorite of the saga, but it isn't sh*tty. 'White Chicks' was a sh*tty movie. TPM had its problems, granted, but all movies have some flaw.......except Empire. JarJar was annoying, yes; but I hear people complain about how Anakin was emo as if it's against the character. Think about it; that's exactly what a villain like Darth VAder would've been like as a teenager.
November 29th, 2007
(3)
Two words would have redeemed Episode One for me. As Boss Nass congratulates Jar-Jar, ending his exile and welcoming him back, his final sentence should have ended with, "... my son." Turning Jar-Jar from "The Fool" to "The Royal Fool", a much more dramatic archetype. Oh yeah, and IF THE ACTORS HAD ACTUALLY ACTED.
November 30th, 2007
(3)
^ It is like you crawled in my brain and read my thoughts in the future which is now that I have read your comments and had this great epiphany that that would have really helped having Jar-Jar even exist. Oh yeah. and this ytmnd is great. I can't tell if it is supposed to be blurry or if that is just the alcohol thou.
November 30th, 2007
(3)
No, young Anakin should have been like a c*ckier Luke, but even more prone to be ruled by his emotions (and thus, susceptible to the dark side). People like Anakin as he was portrayed in the first three movies don't end up being criminal masterminds, they end up being the sniveling, bitter little peons who work for criminal masterminds.
November 30th, 2007
(2)
As for Ep 1's flaws (beyond the terrible acting and poor dialogue): the whole, unnecessary midichlorian thing, the godawful, tacked-on pod race scene (complete with dumpy, improbable two-headed NASCAR announcer), luck being touted over skill in solving problems (both Jar-Jar and Anakin luck into their implausible victories), Darth Maul being killed off instead of doing something interesting with him, Lucas being more concerned with having a "diverse" cast than a cast that worked well together, etc. ...
November 30th, 2007
(3)
Darth Maul was killed off so that Darth Sidious could learn his lesson with his apprentice. He realized that he had trained Maul to simply be a tool. A weapon of the dark side; not a Sith Lord. He taught him to hate too much, which is where we see the difference in Darth Tyrannus; his problem being that he was already in his 80's, far too old.
November 30th, 2007
(3)
"People like Anakin as he was portrayed in the first three movies don't end up being criminal masterminds, they end up being the sniveling, bitter little peons who work for criminal masterminds." You mean like Darth Vader to his master Emperor Palpatine?? lol That's what he was; or what he became. Because of his injuries, Anakin was only the equal in power to Palpatine, but because of becoming more machine than flesh, many of the powers of the dark side that Palpatine had were forever out of his reach.
November 30th, 2007
(2)
"You mean like Darth Vader to his master Emperor Palpatine?? lol " NO LIKE UR MOM OLOLLOLOLOLOL Seriously, though, you're off-base. Is Vader a sniveling toadie? Not at all. He's the quintessential Lieutenant or "under-boss". He stays in his place because he knows his Master has the advantage... for now (note his offer to Luke in Ep 6). The kind of pathetic loser Anakin was in 1 - 3 is so whipped by life that he can only take orders, while the Vader of 4 - 6 is a formidable leader in his own right.
November 30th, 2007
(2)
Whatever dubious plot advancement Lucas gained from killing off Maul so quickly (is negated by what could have been done if Lucas had been interested in writing a coherent plot. Sidious should have learned his "lesson" and attempted to do away with Maul himself, in favor of installing Tyrannus. Maul could have been set up as a para-antagonist (a Phantom Menace, if you will) who discovered and attempted to turn Anakin before Sidious could. Palpatine could have leveraged Maul's (failed) bid to...
November 30th, 2007
(0)
vader was always a bitch ass. compare him to any forum moderator. always bitching, and then when he gets some power he starts deleting everyone. noob.
November 30th, 2007
(2)
...turn Anakin to his advantage, underscoring the severity of the Sith threat while setting himself up as Anakin's mentor. By passing himself off as the last of a "secret order of Sith hunters," he could surreptitiously introduce Sith concepts to Anakin's thinking ("to stop a Sith, you have to think like a Sith..."), and set up a "moment of crisis" where Anakin would choose the dark side over the light. Much better, in my mind, than the whole contrived "you have to turn evil to save your love!" schtick.
November 30th, 2007
(2)
That could work, except for the fact that the Prequels make up ANAKIN'S story, not Maul's. And the plot of Anakin choosing the dark side to save the life of the one he loves, only to kill her with the power he took is like something right out of a Greek tragedy; dramatic irony, like Oedipus the King.
November 30th, 2007
(2)
Yes, yes, it's Anakin's story. Doesn't mean that Anakin is on the screen every second. My rough plot wouldn't give Anakin any less screentime than the existing films. And "Anakin killing Padme with the power he wanted to use to save her" is something out of O. Henry (see "Gift of the Magi"), not out of Greek tragedy. Becoming the monster he sought to destroy and finding that the power he strove for wasn't worth what he lost to attain it is tragic enough without the soap opera histrionic bs.
November 30th, 2007
(2)
Can't believe I'm doing this on ytmnd.....lol. The definition of a tradedy is one where the hero's fortune goes from good to bad. According to Aristotle's definition: the change to bad fortune which he undergoes is not due to any moral defect or flaw, but a mistake of some kind. If from the outside, it's a misadventure. The story of Anakin's downfall is the definition of a Greek tragedy.
November 30th, 2007
(3)
this comment chain is epic. and to think, i sort of started it on its way with my wookie christmas crack. but what about ewoks?!!!
November 30th, 2007
(2)
im just +ing all the comments for no reason.
December 3rd, 2007
(0)
Aristotle isn't the final word on tragedy, though; he claimed that tragedy doesn't derive from external circumstances or a moral flaw, but what of characters who cannot cope in the face of overwhelming events? What of mistakes made due to hybris, derelection of duty, or unruled passions? His definition of tragedy was obsolete before he died. On a side note, I compared Ep 3's ending to O Henry because like that author's work it was schmaltzy and undignified (which does not fit the mold of Greek tragedy).
December 3rd, 2007
(-1)
fuzzhammer: The Ewoks and the Battle of Endor were nothing but a polemical allegory of the Vietnam War. How's that for a debate starter? :oD
November 29th, 2007
(1)
Needs more Belfour :oD
November 29th, 2007
(0)
oh noes his only weakness!
November 29th, 2007
(0)
[ comment (and 5 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO NEEDS LANDO THEME SONG
November 29th, 2007
(0)
It's the cologne.
November 29th, 2007
(-3)
4 because there's no lando theme.
November 29th, 2007
(3)
lol, you got chew3d
November 29th, 2007
(1)
Chewie is naked
November 29th, 2007
(2)
Wookiee has 2 e's
November 29th, 2007
(-1)
http://images.google.com/images?q=wookie&hl=en&safe=off&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=images&ct=title
November 29th, 2007
(-1)
http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&um=1&hl=en&safe=off&q=wookiee&btnG=Search+Images
November 30th, 2007
(0)
storm45's right. It's spelled with two e's; though it doesn't really mean that much. http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wookiee
November 29th, 2007
(1)
lol, Force Commander. I've still got that around somewhere.
November 29th, 2007
(1)
So where does one get the special glasses to see the 3d?
November 29th, 2007
(1)
5 for Redemption at Abridon
November 30th, 2007
(1)
omg this is sooooooo f'in funny i want to nut
November 30th, 2007
(1)
who isn't nsfw i ask. who indeed
November 30th, 2007
(0)
I see what you did there
November 30th, 2007
(1)
WANTED: Someone to get this wookie off me. This is serious f*cking business. You'll be paid immediately, any ammount you want. Must bring weapons, lots of weapons. My safety must be guaranteed. I don't think it has *ever* been attempted before, much less accomplished...
November 30th, 2007
(-1)
he's right, wookiee has 2 e's. just because 90% of the internet is retarded doesn't mean you have to be.
November 30th, 2007
(-2)
i'm glad the 10 percentile has time to stop by and bitch.
November 30th, 2007
(0)
On a related note, "virgin" is spelled with one "i". :oD
November 30th, 2007
(1)
^ See, 'cuz it's really spelled with two "i"s... XD
December 1st, 2007
(-1)
wrong: its spelled verjen and there are no Is
November 30th, 2007
(-1)
i dont get it
November 30th, 2007
(1)
I waited to get home for this one.
November 30th, 2007
(1)
OMFG, NSFW!!! XD
December 1st, 2007
(-2)
i don't see how this is funny
December 1st, 2007
(-1)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-1)
F A I L
December 1st, 2007
(0)
Has anyone wiki'd LANDO yet?
December 1st, 2007
(0)
man this is still up and coming, never thought i would see the day. thanks voters <3
December 1st, 2007
(0)
Is this supposed to depict Chewie violently raping Lando?
December 2nd, 2007
(-2)
Yeah, there are two E's in Wookiee. But nice try.
December 2nd, 2007
(0)
likewise, nice try: http://slypoop.ytmnd.com/ stupid hack.
December 2nd, 2007
(0)
Aids.
December 2nd, 2007
(0)
ITS THE GRAND CHAWHEES BIRFDAY.
December 4th, 2007
(0)
goodly did
June 11th, 2009
(0)
i voted not wookie safe