My Drunk Ex-Wife
Created on: July 6th, 2010
It's over folks. Let's face it, it was only a matter of time.
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| User: Father-McKenzie |
i will echo the "never ask for advice on the internet" sentiments, especially on a website where 97% of its users have never even talked to a girl before. but if you want advice anyway, i'd say don't lose custody of your kid. get yourself a good "dad's rights" lawyer, and don't miss out on seeing your kid grow up. that's pretty much all that matters.
I can't watch this site on this computer so I'll just assume from the comments that you need the helpful, thoughtful advice of an old man who's been through everything (except divorce, having a kid, ever hiring a lawyer, a custody battle, etc). Seriously, I agree with F-M: get a good lawyer. Dads get screwed and kids need both parents, however crazy or angry at each other they may be at first. There was probably a reason you two fell in love in the first place...without pretending like you'll ever get back to that, I'd say you both gotta try to remember that and start a friendship for the kid's sake. That said, I have an ex with whom I almost (but didn't--came close, long story--thank god) had a kid. We were good at drinking together, fighting and fucking--and not much else. I wake up every day thankful that she and I are not co-parents as there was just no common ground between us. That shit happens. That's why Oprah is so damn rich. In fact, maybe write to Oprah. Maybe she could babysit when her show goes off the air.
OK, I watched it. Worse than I thought, dude (the situation, not the site, which is sadly hilarious). I know this sounds generic and shit but this isn't THAT uncommon a thing for people to survive. But it'll take professionals. I'm not one for churchiness, not really one for a lot of new agey bullshit but seems like you gotta start somewhere and get yourself damn sure you won't go back to drugs. 12 steps? I dunno. Whatever works for you but drugs is bad fer dads. And judges know it. I agree with Lickit, that a single, well written, honest letter--and then space for her to ponder it for as long as she needs--could help. But yeah, don't crowd her, even if (especially if) you're angry. Does anyone in her family like/trust anyone in your family? If they aren't liabilities (they usually are, in my experience) maybe communication can happen through them. I'd just say first you got to decide for sure that you want her, your son, that life (which it sounds like you do, even if its fucking terrifying...but it's fucking terrifying even if yr like a perfect Brady Bunch dad), then make it clear you've cleaned up, that you're serious. She'll know if you're not, so don't lie to either her or yourself. Yr both only human and yr gonna fuck up somewhere, somehow, but at least if you can come to some realization that you're on the same side, well, it makes all the other shit easier to deal with.
OK, that's about all I got in the pep talk dept. I still think Oprah can help.
OK, that's about all I got in the pep talk dept. I still think Oprah can help.
:'(
Wow, I was gonna make a joke when I saw the comments first and not the site, but this legitimately mad me sad.
You fucked up big time.
If I were you I would do the letter thing, but don't expect anything of it. I would honestly focus all my energy into fixing my life, before even dealing with the ex-wife and kid. Kick drugs and alcohol (easier said then done, but do it), then work your ass off to make money. I assume you have to pay child support so that's your last link to your child, and if you can make enough money, you could kick in more money to them until you reach a point where you're fully supporting them. That could be your way back into their lives.
The most important thing is being there for your son though, so don't let your relationship with your ex get in the way of that, even if it means never getting back with her.
Wow, I was gonna make a joke when I saw the comments first and not the site, but this legitimately mad me sad.
You fucked up big time.
If I were you I would do the letter thing, but don't expect anything of it. I would honestly focus all my energy into fixing my life, before even dealing with the ex-wife and kid. Kick drugs and alcohol (easier said then done, but do it), then work your ass off to make money. I assume you have to pay child support so that's your last link to your child, and if you can make enough money, you could kick in more money to them until you reach a point where you're fully supporting them. That could be your way back into their lives.
The most important thing is being there for your son though, so don't let your relationship with your ex get in the way of that, even if it means never getting back with her.
hey guys, sorry so late with the replies, a lot of actually good advice here. i appreciate it all. i love most of you, even the ones who hate me. i know that no matter what happens, there is no force that can keep me from seeing my son eventually. shit, in many cultures, children aren't even involved with their fathers until they are at least 2 or 3 years old. thanks to all you guys, i never thought i would find such sincere and decent advice from such a stinking pile of shit website. respect and love all you guys. i will be taking a vacation from here for awhile. if any of you fags wanna talk, my yahoo messenger is braxton427. holler at me sometime if you're bored. god bless, and by god, i mean ya dun goofed. thanks again faggots. also, cox
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