R.I.P. Empire Carpet Guy
Created on: April 28th, 2011
R.I.P. Empire Carpet Guy
Elmer Lynn Hauldren passed away. He was 89. I remember his carpet commercials when I was a kid.

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April 28th, 2011
(0)
tragic
April 28th, 2011
(3)
how soon we forget :(
April 28th, 2011
(9)
Empire Carpeting guy dies right alongside the American Empire. Coincidence? More like Jewincidence. [u]#fartspiracy[/u]
April 28th, 2011
(6)
For Elmer;

High Pile by Jaguart


Oh, I have slippered the surly bonds of shag,

And danced with Dupont on laughter-twisted tuffs;

Earthwards I’ve rolled and joined the tumbling mirth

Of indoor-outdoor turf – and done a thousand things

You have not dreamed of - vacuumed, napped and shimmered

Bathed in a tapestry of new-smell flooring. Lying there,

I’ve chased the wavy knap along and crawled

My infant self through footless colored textures,

Down, down the lush delirious berber beige

I’ve wrestled the burning-rug remnants with easy grace,

Where never a spill, or even stain, set

And, while with silent, warming mind I’ve trod

The low untrespassed sanctity of roomspace,

Removed my shoes, and was massaged by God.
April 29th, 2011
(3)
[slow clap]
April 28th, 2011
(1)
Goodnight sweet prince. May soft rivers of carpet carry you softly to sleep.
April 29th, 2011
(1)
RIP carpet mogul.
April 29th, 2011
(3)
I remember when nostalgia was cool, before it was appropriated by VH-1's I-love-five-seconds-ago, tired Family Guy jokes which as South Park pointed out the Simpsons happened to do first, and oh yeah, Norman Rockwell. Those were the days. Salad, halcyon type goodness. On second thought, maybe nostalgia never was what it used to be...
April 29th, 2011
(0)
five seconds ago was so great.
May 1st, 2011
(0)
Dude, do you remember Crocs? I can't believe we used to wear those things!
April 29th, 2011
(0)
sleep well sweet prince
April 29th, 2011
(1)
I fucking hate those ads.
April 30th, 2011
(2)
People really must have loved Elmer and Empire carpet! The success of this site is a tribute to him and his marketing genius!
April 30th, 2011
(0)
carpet
May 1st, 2011
(2)
gone too soon
May 4th, 2011
(2)
FIEV ATE ATE TOO FREE HUNNERD AMPAR
May 5th, 2011
(1)
I remember these commercials too! Rest In Peace Elmer!!
(1)
This has 6,500 views
May 7th, 2011
(1)
7000 now. No wonder U***** is pissed off.