this is a parody just to make it clear... landoverbaptist is a parody site

numba one

+1

Seriously, the answer to all those questions is "Yes."

If only they could MAKE an xbox that turned water into wine. We could all get boozed and play games.

can the xbox 360 watch you masturbate?

+2

Yes. Yes it can.

+1

xbox live vision camera

+1

i lol'd

Lol, crazy baptists

-1

rofl drive a rusty spike through it lol

lol burn millions of people in hell

Lo freaking L

Hahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahhaa Can the XboX 360 watch you masturbate? Can the XboX 360 survive after having enormous rusty nails driven through it?

Jesus > xBox

+1

omfg lol! "can the xbox360 watch you masturbate?"

Jesus didn't survive enormous rusty spikes either. He died. Also, did Jesus fly? I missed that part.

Yeah, he was resurrected three days after dying and preached for a while and then ascended (flew) to heaven.

lololololol

number 3 is a doozie

crazy ppl ftw

the pic really makes this btw

I liked the part about the kidnapping. lol, baptists

all these features shall be implemented in the next update...

Yes, yes it can

http://leftbehindeternalforcesgame.ytmnd.com/ http://jesuskilledmygrandma.ytmnd.com/

so, it was there, and now it's here?

it won't let me 5 this.

nvm

HAHAHAH OH GOD> YES>

for the motherland

It saddens me that some people can't tell this is a parody.

a Nintendo Wii can do all those things and more.

+1

JESUS WATCHES ME MASTURBATE! Btw, the bible says nothing against masturbation.

Landover Baptist = win.

Can Jesus fly?

Actually, with the right mods, my 360 now in fact CAN lead an army of christians into the final battle of armageddon. Modding rules. Oh and with the upcoming web cam, it can watch me masturbate too.

can it turn water into wine? nope, but it can entertain just as well as any alcoholic beverage. burn millions of people in hell? nope, but halo 2 sure pisses off alot of people on earth.

"JESUS WATCHES ME MASTURBATE! Btw, the bible says nothing against masturbation." FTW. I wonder if Jesus masturbated.

I came up with 4 out of 10.

F*ck Jesus, he sucks at Ghost Recon. However, Jesus IS fully backwards compatible.

I wouldn't be surprised if Microsoft was using the 360 to watch people Masturbate.

well lets see yes it can AKA on #10 its called Halo but nice work...

Kidnapping and Armageddeon! Happies!

can the xbox 360 FLY?!

My Xbox 360 watches me masturbate all the time.

It can do all of that and MORE!

can the xbox 360 watch you masturbate?

OGROKTEHBASTARD > JESUS >> X-BOX 360

Jesys never did that stuff. Did Jesus ever light on fire? I don't think so. Did Jesus ever over heat? I don't think so.

WTF did Jesus fly?! :O And he watches when I masturbate? :'(

jesus ftw

rofl! can the xbox 360 watch you jackoff??? lol

lololol

Jesus can't either...

Lol, the Xbox 360 flies when I throw it across my room.

IT does float!!!!

If Jesus watches me masterbate, he must be a homosexual. After all he never got married, hung out with 12 guys on a daily basis and washed the feet of a prostitute instead of making use of her. Some day I will prove your fabulousness Jesus, and so will begin a new era of chaos and homistocricy.

1. Yes 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. Yes 5. Yes 6. Yes 7. Yes 8. Yes 9. Yes 10. Yes

I like the way you took a sound intentionally meant to be funny from a satire site and added absolutely nothing to it.

hahaha

I think the Xbox 360 can do all of those things!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Xbox 360 ftw.

Awesome. I hope mine watches me mastubate.

Well number 10 works out i guess

This is the best ever!!! No way! Top 15 all time... Instant Fad!! Internet gold!

i love my xbox 360 its so nuce to me

Who cares if this is fake...its great!

"so, it was there, and now it's here?"Just like the rest of the internet

those 10 questions should be the 360's add campaign, then followed by "yes, yes it can"

Well, the XBox 360 certainly cant do any of that. Guess we'll have to wait for the Wii.

downvoted for no reason

lol

Downvoted cuz Jesus does not exist,it is just an image given to those who have hope of a better life after this 1.The truth is when you die you know what happens?You rot in the ground as your "Spirit" roams the earth.Religions are just scamms to get money like Scientology.Live your life without thinking there is a better life then now.When you go to "Heaven" can you drive?HELL NO!If you could there would be Sunday drivers everywhere!Dont spell check me either,you get the point.

-1

It's a parody, retard.

Chris Angel is the closest thing you will get to Jesus.

lol baptists

The X Box may not be able to do that... but neither can jesus OHH SLAMED!

The 360 can do all of those things....

The Wii is powered by jesus, so that's impastable.

Amen!

jesus loves to wach me masturbate.

ah yes. religion.

LOL the answer to allthese questions is YES also c*cks

I was going to say, "WTF baptists?" but the site is a parody site. I lmao at the masturbation question.

I gave it a 5. I don't know why my vote didn't show...

I wish it wasn't a parody, then it would be funnier.

1'd for trying to use "Google" as a source.

^ how easily we forget yourethemannowdog.ytmnd.com

also, that depiction of jesus watching you "personally abuse yourself" was disturbing.

Xbox 360 Pwnz!!!

Jesus sucked at Halo, his respawn time was like 3 days long.

R O F L!!!

the answer is yes my xbox can watch me jack it

wtf can it fly? lol

Jesus flies?!?!?!??!

no, but chuck norris can.

+1

I have totally been set straight

The Xbox 360 is cooler than Jesus... it can fly and it can burn nillions of people (although not in hell) The xbox 360 probably could survive with spikes in it... the xbox 360 will help help me masturbate and tell me too constantly... it does offer me eternel life...with cheats ^_^ And the Xbox 360 wont just lead the army during armaggedon, it will STOP ARMAGEDDON!!!

There's one thing the 360 can do that Jesus also can do: Save. :)

+1

the awnser to all those question is yes

f*ck jesus!!

Just so so you know that guy isn't a christian is a parody and anything who thinks this is a real one is a moron.

SHIMSHAM THEIR TALLYWHACKERS

Don't let Microsoft hear this, they'll take it as a challenge.

Of course Jesus watches me masturbate. That's when he masturbates.

1-yes 2-yes 3-yes 4-yes 5-no 6-no 7-yes 8-yes 9-maybe 10-its only a matter of time.

only ceiling cat can watch you masturbate

man, i laughed so hard xD

"tidus9000: all these features shall be implemented in the next update..." agreed.

stupid fanboy bullsh*t. f*ck you

my xbox can do all those things..but my 360 cant :(

I was not impressed...

man, it'd be gold if it was real :(

Why are idiots downvoting this? Did you listen to it? This was the funniest thing ever. So funny I question if it is real. This made me laugh SO F*CKING HARD.

Our god is an awesome god

LOL, not bad.

hahahahahahaha XD

maybe jesus can tighten up the graphics too

Hell yes.

no... I guess it cant do that... Its probably better that it cant...

The Wii can do what Jesus, Buddah and Mohammad did all by using the Wii Remote and without a hard drive. Miracle gameplay is more important than graphics.

CAN THE XBOX360 SURVIVE A VIRGIN BIRTH?

why is masturbation and sex a sin.... if we make children that way then WTF.....

LOL! LOL! LOL!

f*ckin hypocrite, i bet he fapped when he was young

The way you don't explain that it's a parody is sort of a douche move. It's just a bash to religion.

Made of win and all that good stuff

The answer to all of his questions is YES!!!

thats why im an atheist

That kid was right. The Xbox360 IS cooler than Jesus. In fact, this old cardboard box is cooler than Jesus, and it doesn't even have the number 360 anywhere on it.

This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. You should have put a picture of Fred Phelps.

I dont even care. No hope.

Jesus is hard core!

lol, 360 compared to diety

the xbox360 can do all of these things!

"shim sham their tally-wackers" omfg lawl

CRUCIFY X BOX

complete and utter sh*t

Can the Xbox 360 watch you masturbate? ...so wait...god is...right now he is...well...ew.

I think I would have 5'd it if it were real.

"its not going to sit there out of concern as it watches you commit personal abuse" delightful!

Crap > Jesus That guy is an idiot!

i laughed, i cried, and i laughed again.

Xbox 360 is better than Jesus for one reason. Xbox 360 is real. Jesus is an imaginary character.

Is jesus a pedo if he watches children masturbate?

my xbox 360 does walk on water though

omg that was great

LOL Jesus Wins!

My XBOX 360 does all the above execpt watch me masterbate - it has more class than to watch me.

wait, jesus can fly? sign me up!

The Xbox360 very propably can do at least one of these things, unlike Jesus.

"I'm sure it'll help millions of youngers shim shag their tallywaggers." LMAO Old Preachers FTW!

F*ckin' Stupid

lol, religion

yes...the bible does say something about masturbating...wtf are u guys talking about...

Yes to all

can you turn on jesus from your couch? i think not! PRAISE GATES

Gets a 5 for "Shim-sham their tallywackers"

#8 is creepy, but not as creepy as any real christian.

Pfft.

I'm pretty sure Jesus can't do that either.

No. But a wii can.

Answer to all is: YES.

Oh, it floats. And can move that granite. LOL, mine glares at me when I masturbate.

360> †

Jesus flies? lol

Jesus can fly?

For what it costs, the PS3 better do at least 3 or 4 of those things.

rant on masturbation ftw!

I bet the Wii could fly.

The X-Box 360 can do number 10.

Well at least the Xbox 360 is real. And this is the first time ive ever heard that jesus can fly.

Can the Xbox 360 endure a virgin birth?

Shimshack your tallywacker.

This is all kinds of insane.

lame.. just yea not only is it fake, but its by far the stupidest parody anyway. I didnt even smirk..

landoverbaptist ftl.

holy crap....

Shim sham their tatty-wackers!?!?! yaya i know...parody

"and ye, Jesus did fly aloft on high to watcheth his brethren fapping." -God

Sounds like Jesus is mad he got pwned on Live.

lmao

what a f*ggot, i'd actually like to murder that man and i wouldnt feel in the least bit remorseful, hell isnt real you old bastard

Basically: Jesus > All > Xbox360

that's why I strap a box of tissues ony MY xbox 360.

I dunno if I'm voting for the site or for Landover Baptist, but it's pretty good.

Jesus > Xbox 360

Wait a minute....Jesus can fly?

No, but it can defiantly float.

1) Some of Jesus’ miracles were overrated. ;) 2) Can JESUS fly? 3) Most definitely. Overheating issues. 4) Jesus gave birth? 5) As long as you don’t hit the processor. 6) It evaporates the water. 7) No but have you seen next-gen graphics?!? 8) I think Bill Gates watching me fap is creepier than Jesus watching me. 9) Beats 72 virgins! 10) Sounds like a great new concept! lol, child abduction!

niiiiiice.

My xbox 360 watches me masturbate...

xbox > jesus... it can do all that...

lol, wii can do all that and more!!111

GEEEEEESUSS.

PERSONAL ABUSE LOL.

Actually the X-Box 360 CAN do all those things.

Also Jesus was a fake so Poop.

yes the xbox 360 can survive anything, even crusifiction... Cant say that much for jesus >>

Sumguy21 approves of this message.

JESUS R0X!

I didn't know Jesus could f*cking fly.

+1

"this is a parody just to make it clear... landoverbaptist is a parody site" in that case five

is this audio serious?

IT'S A PARODY.

holy hell, best ever

This was funny, but nearly all the posters above me forgot Poland.

1 for lack of originality (you moved it from a parody site to here) and the fact that it's trendy to poke fun at christians in such a way but it's un PC to do so to other religions, which is quite annoying

I get boozed and play videogames all the time

wow..... u loved it

ok... a parody.... someone like that is just a creep.

can the xbox 360 exist? oh wait...i got it the wrong way around

lol!

Can jesus blow up a third world country with his power supply?

lol the spikes

omg lol!

I shim shammed my tally-wacker to this YTMND...

PWNED

Lol'd I did

Wow, lol. 5ed for awesomeness? The PS3 needs to be able to do that stuff for 599 bucks....

Landover makes me lawl. BUT! With the new Xbox 360 camera attachment it CAN watch yo masturbate

Well then Xbox360>Wii>Dreamcast

Xbox>Jesus

no, I'm afraid only Jesus can do that. Lead us all into battle at Armageddon, cause he was REALLY into war....

yes, the xbox 360 can do ALL of that stuff, thx microsoft

haha even though you downvoted me, this sh*t is hilarious. I remember betty bowers and landover baptist from a while back.

Yes.

Did Jesus ever let me go on Xbox live to pwn noobs on Rainbow Six: Vegas? Nope.

It...it... sounds like Jeus is an *ssh*le

And to answer, no the Xbox can't do any of this. But it can provide you with kickass videogames that REPLICATE all these things, AND MORE

jesus is a c*nt

couldnt stop laughing

oh god, it sounds like seth mcfarlane XD

lol wtf... wow thats sooo sad... this is why religions are noob clearly the 360 > jesus the xbox 360 exists now and i can play it jesus, has no awnser cept JOIN OR DIE!!!!!!! so ill play with the xbox

lmfao

My xbox 360 watched me fap to this ^_^.

At least XBOX360 doesn't have followers how pretend that a halo is everything.... Oh Wait....

Win.

Religion SUCKS! and yes the xbox360 is better

You See... I F**KIN HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT! IF AMERICA IS A LAND OF FREEDOM, WHY DO THEY F**KIN SAY THIS BULLSHI*! THIS MAN IS SAYING THAT IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE IN, THEY KILL YOU. WHAT BULLSH*T! THIS IS FUKIN BULLSH*T! FUK RACISM! THAT MAN SHOULD GO GET *SS RAPED BY A MULE AND THEN FUKIN SHOOTHIMSELF IN THE GOD DAMN HEAD! WHAT A DUCHE! THE WAY HE DESCRIBED JESUS, THE XBOX360 WINS BY A LANDSLIDE, HELL, EVEN THE PS3 WINS! ANYONE CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MUSLIMS,BUT NOT NE1 ELSE

-1

It's a parody you f*cking dipsh*t. God damn.

Also, explain to me where he's a racist and why him saything these things, even though its a parody which, for some reason you can't f*cking understand, prevents america from being free? Your dipsh*t arguement holds no water.

Man, that kid who said the xbox 360 was cooler than Jesus was a dumbass, especially since there are barely any good games for xbox 360. After all, didn't the Bible say, there shan't be any systems cooler than Jesus that are manufactured by Microsoft?

Jesus is better than the X-Box360, and I'm Baptist myself

Wait, Shim-shamming my Tallywacker is bad!?