Did you call him at four in the morning?

+20

fake

-10 [show comment][hide comment]

LET THIS BE THE END OF MATLAB

+3

By the way, I'm planning to do something similar, but call John Nash. I'm not sure what yet what to ask him, though...

*not sure yet

+1

I heard the dial tone and I though: "Dear God, don't tell me someone actually called the guy..."

+17

I thought the exact same thing. I heard ringing. "Ohhhh noooo......"

+2

Absolutele-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

+24

When i could tell it was a legitimate prank call, I started to feel really bad that Koen was being tormented...and then he said absolutely and i wet myself just a little bit and then my dog jumped on me and i flung him into my trashcan of paperwork and he started hocking up spit on it so i just turned on music and ignored him.

+13

LoadMan, I love you too. You supported me once. I can't remember where.

I have both emailed and called Dr. Billy V. Koen in the past- all I need to do now is send him some mail and fax for the full experience

+4

wow , can i have his phone number? you also shoulda said "would you do me a favor? will you please repeadedly say e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e?"

+1

cretincretin999, possibly mastersofrussia.ytmnd.com, saltnpepper.ytmnd.com or totallyrecalled.ytmnd.com

+1

THIS. FAD. IS. OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

-3

This puts nitesky to shame

Here is John Nash's (work) phone number: (609)-258-4213, if anyone's interested.

I've tried a few times to call him but every time he wasn't there (no one picked up).

His nose is...hypnotizing......MATLAB....

FOR GREAT JUSTICE

+7

blown airtime with dr. koen - also faked

-5

Correct. I used a highly modified version of Microsoft Sam to fake my own voice. Your ears are keen young one.

+4

Nerd.

-25 [show comment][hide comment]

WHAT ABOUT THE TIME I- I- I- chipped uh, my I- my tooth on the-

+1

Hank has no lists and did not finish C

+17

BUT I STILL THINK HE CAN DO MATLAB

+17

Hot voice.

+1

Hooker boots

+3

Damn that was funny!

+3

INORITE!?

Yeah I really liked this... He seemed like a nice person to talk to

+1

wow... Moon man isn't even in this... and i love it. well played hawkeye... well played. :)

+2

epic win.

+3

i've already watched this 7 times and still laugh outloud at 'absolutely'... Dr Koen seems like a cool cat.

+6

Yep, that's what sealed it. I would have to say this is the best KOENTMND, period. Just because he stumbled right into it in a blaze of RIGHTEOUS FURY.

+1

Stargate soundtrack sold me. Here's your 5 sir.

+3

33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

+3

lol, I'm glad I waited for that joke... thank god I'm not some 14 y.o. ADHD kid huh?

+2

Yeah, your like 14 and a half...COME ON!

+3

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

+4

1

epic

+3

I don't get it.

-17 [show comment][hide comment]

That was Dr. Billy V. Koen and he's this professor at University of Texas and one time he was like talking about this program called Matlab and somebody recorded it and then we all started making sites about it and sometimes he goes eeeeeeeeee and i never did figure out what that was all about and he has theme music too but it's not the music i played b/c that is stargate his music is this weird polka sort of music stuff and there are a lot of sites about him on ytmnd and some of them are pretty good i

+21

don't think the guy has any idea what is up here at ytmnd and the reason these are all funny is the fact that there is really no rhyme or reason to why this guy was chosen and that is what makes it funny

+18

Oh he knows, sghawkeyes. But can he believe it?

+26

His theme music is Semi-Nice by Infected Mushroom.

+2

Did he really utter the "Eeeeeeeeeeeee", or is it an edit or something?

+3

ochobobo said he linked him to a bunch and he said he liked some

+8

You mean he actually showed him KOENTMNDs?!

+2

^Sure, plenty of people START fads on YTMND, but could you actually imagine BEING one? It's a greater honor than hosting Saturday Night Live...or at least cutting the ribbon at an opening ceremony for a local strip mall.

+4

Do any of you know if he's seen this one. If so, did he like it? http://duelingmatlabs.ytmnd.com/

+1

If a student wanted to contact him during office hours and they were to search his name, YTMND comes up at least 4 times before you finally get to Dr. Koen's contact information.

+10

I e-mailed him quit awhile ago, got a response and he is well aware of ytmnd and that it was his students who first started the fad

+1

quite

+2

a while ago

+2

Phone: (512) 471-3086

Email: k...@uts.cc.utexas.edu

+1

http://www.me.utexas.edu/~koen/

+1

Yeah I showed him http://koentmnd.ytmnd.com/ http://koen.ytmnd.com/ http://matlabdance.ytmnd.com/ and the one I made http://amatlabtalebydrbillyvkoen.ytmnd.com/ He said "Thanks for the "heads up"! I had no idea this was going on. I like your contribution the best. I can't believe no one mentioned that you get an A if you finish all the units. I hope you got your A. Thanks again, Billy Koen"

+5

^epic

+3

^holy sh*t yeah

+2

thank god you didn't show him the "art of seduction" one

+4

^yeah I was thinking about that too

+1

Oh wow, I had never even seen that site before. Just went and searched for it. But yeah, I sent that email to him like a year and a half before that site was even made lol ("I'm sure that's longer than most of you have even been alive.")

+5

Show him Koen's Power Politics.

+1

I hate this. But I also kinda like it.

-3

I feel the same way about you

+12

Hall of fame.

+3

You might wanna call it the KOENTMND to end all KOENTMNDs.

+1

5'd for Stargate

+3

I noticed you called him "Mr." Koen instead of Dr. or professor... and he was still as helpful as can be. I've heard he's killed lot of people in the past for a lot less.

+15

Yeah, you really should have called him Doctor. Still, that lapse in protocol aside, you did well. You never let the fact that you were making a joke at his expense bleed through.

I did say "thank you professor" at the end :)

+2

You have outdone me, Sir. 5 Stars for great justice.

+6

hi nitesky, love your work. More matlab. Tell him about your dark works. call him! I'm planning to get to know matlab because of this.

+1

hey, NiteSky, when a KOENTMND like this gets made, do you collect your royalties through Max or directly from PayPal? Or is it that every a KOENTMND is made, one of your alts get its wings?

+2

Not a big fan of the Matlab fad, but this my dear fellow is the coolest YTMND page I've seen in a while. Kudos on your eloquent articulation whilst communicating on the phone with Dr. Koen. :D

+4

Absolutely

+3

The climax fell flat for me.

I had to change my pants, personally

+10

How did the conversation go on after the "absolutely"?

+1

I would also like to know what came next

+1

"absolutely. It's far easier than C. There's no dou...you'll have no trouble at all. Just...if you need it, and if you're in engineering you will need it, take a course in it and everything will be OK."

+5

add it please

+2

Here is the original call with no processing/editing: http://hawkeyetestsite.ytmnd.com/

+2

awww he sounds so nice and sincere

+2

I love this, and I love you.

+4

It was painful to listen to the poor man be harassed IRL but when he said absolutely I peed myself with joy.

+5

1 because the real Koen would never say that- obviously a fake

-10 [show comment][hide comment]

p.s. I know because we are lovers and were f*cking like rabbits last night. The phone never rang.

-8

ITT Tech has an engineering program? LOL.

+1

You get 5 for this epic phone call in all it's glory.

+1

one last thing, does 1=2? (i don't have the time for this) *click*

+1

You sir, win the internet. 5'd.

+1

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

+3

WAAADDDDDDDDDAYAAA LLLLIIIKKKEEE TTOOOO PLAY? POKEMAWN!

+1

MATLAB is brick...*shivers*

5 for you sir

+1

5

+2

EPIC!

+2

You really don't need any experience in computer programming to do MATLAB so I'm going to chose to believe you actually called him

+2

+1 for not being by Nitesky

-4

Matlab is still funny.

-3

I was going to 1 this, but the ABSOLUTELY image was redeeming.

-1

There is no logical reason why this should be funny. 5'd.

+1

LEAVE THIS POOR MAN ALONE. ITS NOT HIS FAULT HE'S SMARTER THAN YOU AND HAS A HIGH VOICE.

-2

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

+2

but it is his fault that he has a telephone

+1

You seriously need to be banned...

+1

hi, steakman

This man is a legend. How awesome would it be if one of his students got him to start a YTMND account?

+1

Too awesome for us mere mortals.

+1

Wow. Then ending "absolutely" makes it.

+1

Pure, unadulterated gold.

+1

If a fad was to ever have a proper burial, this is it.... and no getting shot by Anton

+5

HELLO NEW FAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+3

new?

TELEPHONETMND!

Koen is the man now dog!

+2

Gold

+1

EPIC!

+1

Zen masters will use this Koen as a koan to achieve enlightment in the mysteries of MATLAB. Also, Mr. Koen is clearly awesome, the kind of guy you wish you had for a teacher in college.

+2

ask and you shall recEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEve

+4

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

-2

Arr work and no pray make Jack a durr boy

+1

all C and no matlab makes for downvoter f*g.

+3

Level Complete! 500pts! Matlab Skill Unlocked!

+3

f*cking epic favorited

+1

What was the process like trying to get a hold of Mr. Koen?

+2

1st try

+3

YOU FORGOT TO ASK HIM HOW TO USE A SLIDERULE

+6

THERE'S NO WORDS THERE!

-2

I don't know that I approve of harassing the good Dr. but you have received the answer that should be a life changing event. YOU CAN DO MATLAB FROM THE MAN HIMSELF! Do understand that he is a professor and I can only hope young dipsh*ts on this site don't follow your trend. That being said you had good composure in your call and treated him with the garnered respect so a definite 5. I would have the same reaction to hearing the word absolutely come from him.

+1

I'm not a programmer at all... and this made me laugh really hard. 5'd.

+1

+1

I really like this, but could someone tell me why him saying "absolutely" is so amazing?

I was hoping you could tell me. Why don't you have a seat over there.

+1

It's because he always asks "You think you can do matlab?" and we never got an answer until now?

+2

I think the real question...the question you asked in numerous e-mails..."can I rape you anally" is what we need to discuss tonight.

Another time, another place

No, no. I insist. Have a seat over there.

Okey...

So why did you come here today? I have the chat logs so you might as well start by telling the truth.

YAY I CAN DO MATLAB!!!

+3

Matlab is the most stupidest fad ever.

-5

I believe the proper English is, "most stupidistis." Moran.

+5

What happens when you finish C AND Matlab?

+1

You just might make it in modern engineering.

+4

well I guess if you would bind to the assumption with the Dr. that there is going to be more computers used in the future, you know why we got you in here and even right now, you just can't make it if you can't use a computer,

at what skyool?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for effort. And what an effort.

i leave ytmnd for a week, and when i come back there is this.

+1

Absolutely Fabulous Darlin

BYILLY KYOEN

original content? I came buckets!

A winner is you!

This is truly epic, even if it is fake, I don't care. It's f*cking awesome. Great Job!

Surely the guy must know that there's this inside joke about him on the internet, someone's probably said something to him right?

I go to UT and I thought of doing something like this, like maybe an Ali G style interview. Then I read up on his profile. The guy is a nuclear engineer and worked in Europe for some time... so I realized he's basically and genius and that I'd feel like a real dick for sitting him down and yelling EEEEEEEEE in his face =/

+2

Or that would make it infinitely funnier.

+1

You mean I really CAN do MATLAB?!?!?!

I think this is taking too far. This isn't technically a prank call, since it's a legitimate question, but it was obviously "done for the lulz". If Koen hasn't heard about this already, he soon will, and he might become irritated if his own time is wasted by people who talk to him because of KOENTMND. There's a line between satire/comedy and rudeness.

-2

what the f*ck are you dr. koen's gay mistress who keeps an eye on making sure people don't act rude to him?

+3

No, he's right. I have to prepare myself for the coming rage...I understand that Koen has killed people for less.

+2

Doing Matlab with Billy Koen is better than doing Computer Science 3 with Mike f*cking Sandy because at Koen knows what he's talking about amirite?

That call was so much win lol

didnt watch

-2

awww.... :(

What is Matlab?

Baby, don't hurt C, don't hurt C, no more

Well done.

Legendary.

haha. that was brilliant and perfect.

Can you believe it? I almost can't

Amazing.

While I did enjoy this, I have reservations about people actually calling this guy. Some boundaries ought not be crossed, especially in cases like this where the subject of the YTMND did not seek out his internet fame. Although he's sort of a celebrity around here, Billy Koen just some random guy; he's a (rather peculiar) engineering professor from Texas. He didn't ask for this notoriety, and he probably doesn't even know what YTMND is. The good-natured teasing that Dr. Koen is subject to is harmless

o long as it's kept on YTMND where it belongs, but rewarding a YTMND that "breaks the fourth wall" like this creates a dangerous incentive for subsequent submitters to follow suit and up the ante in pursuit of a high-rated YTMND. Calling Dr. Koen could become a fad. This particular YTMND was harmless (and quite well done), but I believe that it introduces a line-drawing question that is troubling. If someone were to call Dr. Koen with a Dr. Koen soundboard, would that still be within the confines of

good taste? What about just calling Dr. Koen and playing a recording of "EEEEEEEEEEE" into the phone to get his reaction? What about repeated recordings of "horsedick?" It's just a matter of degree.

rape

dont harass the matlab man >:0

5 for using goggle

Wow. Way to reach for the stars and succeed!

LOL'd

I know this is ans old site but im kinda inibrihated so il l5 ist anyways