AILFANSBICFAIL
Created on: July 19th, 2011
AILFANSBICFAIL
AILFANSBICFAIL

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(1)
That guy should just take a break and try to find [b]something else[/b] to buy, something not too expensive that can be found in the same mall. Something like a new book to read for after he finishes [b]David Lynch's Naked Lunch[/b], or a fun keychain that lights up and/or makes noise. But not a keychain that commemorates a state, area, or business, like one that uses solar power to make a name (like [b]Mike[/b] or [b]Jared[/b]) slowly blink on one side, with a map of [b]New Jersey[/b] on the other side. I got one of those and the name side cracked in like a few days. [b]Cheap crap[/b]. It cost [b]six bucks[/b]. I got one for me, and then I was like "Haha I'll get one for me, Chris, my girlfriend and a [b]fourth[/b] one for her [b]BFF[/b]," but when I went to the register the guy was like "pay me [b]over twenty-five bucks[/b]" so I hesitated before returning to the keychain rack, and I thought "OK, we don't [b]needp/b] to spend [b]twenty-five-or-so bucks[/b] on keychains for everyone so we can all have the same shit, especially considering only one of us will probably actually attach it to our keys. Alls the keys I have on my own [b]keychain[/b] is my car key/alarm clicker and my house key. And that's it." [b]SO[/b], instead of buying [b]four[/b] I bought [b]two[/b]. One for [b]me[/b] and one for [b]my girlfriend[/b]. [b]However[/b], I wasn't paying attention when I put the keychains back, so I ended up buying one with [b]my name[/b] and one with [b]my girlfriend's BFF's name[/b]! All of this happened at a gas station in [b]New Jersey[/b], where state law does not allow you to pump your own gas. I told this [b]funny story[/b] to [b]my girlfriend[/b] and I said "[b]Hey[/b], since me and Lisa (her [b]BFF[/b]) are having such a fightey, rocky time right now, I can just give that to her and be like 'Look, now we're [b]twins[/b], haha' which was poignant because at the time she was dating a guy who had an identical twin.
(1)
That story is [b]entirely[/b] true, although names have been changed. "Chris" is actually the name of [b]my girlfriend's BFF[/b], "Chris" being short for a [b]girl's name[/b].

Also, I feel really bad about messing up some of my [b]bold rich text[/b]. Up there, it says like "OK, we don't needp/b] to spend [b]twenty-five-or-so bucks on keychains" and when i saw it i got upset.
(1)
I forgot to capitalize two "i's" when I wrote "and when i saw it i got upset" and guess what, I got upset all over again.
(1)
[u]The Epilogue:[/u]

I never ended up giving the keychain to [b]my girlfriend's BFF[/b]. I kept the keychain in this drop-down compartment for [b]sunglasses[/b] in the ceiling of my [b]Toyota[/b]. One day, I got so pissed off and fed up with those [b]two girls[/b] ([b]my girlfriend[/b] and her [/b]BFF[/b]) that I threw the [b]keychain[/b] out the [b]window[/b] of the [b]car[/b] while I was [b]driving[/b]. I remember thinking "[b]Fuck this[/b]."
(1)
Man, I know I shouldn't beat myself up, but I just made my text appear as "[/b]BFF[/b]" when I [i]wanted[/i] it to appear as "[b]BFF[/b]."

[u]Fun Fact:[/u]

In my whole narrative here, I only used rich text italics [b]once[/b] when i wrote "when I [i]wanted[/i] it to appear as '[b]BFF[/b].'"
July 20th, 2011
(1)
RUINING the very pants i was returning
July 27th, 2011
(0)
Epic Acronym