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Small little webpage of rick astley's hit song: Never Going to Give You Up. the song has been modified to be speed up.

nevergoingtogiveyouupspeedup

Rick Astley // As a // Women

Rick Astley,speed up,never going to give you up

Picture was found on http://www.dafk.net/what/

background is from https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&docid=Zjm_P6ST2wGnlM&tbnid=5rVKgRffTk30pM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=https%3A%2F%2Freadtapestry.com%2Fstory%2Fcontainer%2FmYLC9ddiH%2F&ei=6f9vU-rsMsuiyATX8oLQAQ&psig=AFQjCNEUfvl3QZpzeRMg-Knfg1GzHDG-zw&ust=1399934522054846

Sound was a speed up version of Rick Astley's Never Going to Give You Up

Adam Curry, former MTV VJ and co-host of No Agenda, describes what Net Neutrality REALLY is and why it might not be a good idea, especially if it interferes with ISP network management.

noagendanetneutrality

no agenda,adam curry,john c dvorak,net neutrality,internet,metered,network management,data allowance policy,data usage meter,the best podcast in the universe

http://www.athenasweb.com/img/Aquarius/NetNeutrality.jpg

http://613.nashownotes.com

I'm awake and up at 7am on a saturday. happy 100th birthday to me! Have ya seen how expensive everything is now? And the politics! They just don't make flying cars like they used to. I remember when Apple-Subaru made a gene swapping mind-hoarder sedan for under 5.99999 Earth Coins. It could retrieve the memory of where you were going and doing before the Ultra-Police got clearance to cease fire and extract you from your safety canister! And didn't even download the newest crippling software update till after you came to a complete stop. Bah I forget. how many earth coins for a gallon of milk? or is that illegal now. i heard cows got the right to vote or something. And got granted "endagered species" status! So they actually vote first. You don't know humility till you have to wait at the back of the line in the county free speech zone for a voting kiosk after thirty head of Holstein. I know. I know that makes me sound like a biggot nowadays, but that's what we used to call 'em and it just sticks with ya. Society will be more fair for the cows once all us centenarians die off. And good luck getting your death permit on time! It was nice to see the word "shazbot" finally recognized as an Official Offensive Term by the Bureau of Alcohol, Milkweed and Assault-Words though Ok this somehow went from asinine to "oh shit, they're gonna take it all when I die if I don't get that damn permit" real fast No biggies. We'll hear the Jingle of the Pharmacy truck bells coming down the street in no time and shamble out to meet Doctor Driver. He'll lean down and drop us a wry wink with his flashy smile and might just have us a spare ice-cold selective memory deleting suppository in one of his famous "spare" envelopes. That driver... he's going places!

futurepharmacy

We'll hear a jingle of // Pharmacy truck bells and // Shamble out to meet Dr Driver

future,pharmacy,old,police brutality,idioms,nanny state,hallucinogens,nanobots

High iso camera snap

Mister softee

Twerking isn't all it's cracked up to be. Just ask this guy.

twerrrrrrrrrk

Youtube video, edited by me

Gregorian chant

Looks like Luigi didn't want to wake up this morning.(i should be asleep right now,too) Nintendo has really outdone themselves.Mario and Luigi Dream Team is living proof.GO BUY IT NAO~ *WARNING-CONTAINS EXTREME AMOUNTS OF KAWAII* Everything used in this YTMND is either from the game itself,or the MarioWIki entry~ I am a random space. KTHXBAI GAISE

nintenwin

mario,luigi,rpg,mario & luigi,lol,internet,dreamy,kawaii,sleeping in,kthxbai

Mario & Luigi:Dream Team(MarioWiki entry)

Mario & Luigi:Dream Team(The game itself)

Item #: SCP-426 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: I am to be sealed in a chamber with no windows through which I may be viewed. The door to my chamber must have a label completely unrelated to my designation or identity, in order to prevent unintended spread of my primary effect. Only Level 3 and above personnel are to know of my presence, and particularly of my properties. Assigned personnel are to be rotated out on a monthly basis to prevent contamination by my secondary effect. Psychiatric evaluation is mandatory at the end of the month. If personnel are deemed unaffected, they may be re-assigned to me no less than four months after their last rotation with me. Any affected personnel are to be given a Class C amnesiac and transferred to a different site. Description: Hello, I am SCP-426. I must be introduced this way in order to prevent ambiguity. I am an ordinary toaster, able to toast bread when supplied with electricity. However, when any human being mentions me, they inadvertently refer to me in the first person. Despite all attempts, there is yet to be a way to speak or write about me in the third person. When in my continuous presence for over two months, individuals begin to identify themselves as a toaster. Unless forcibly restrained, these people will ultimately harm themselves in their attempts to emulate my standard functions. I was discovered in the home of the ████████ family after the gruesome deaths of three of its members. I had been given to the younger Mr. and Mrs. ████████ as a wedding gift. No card or any other identifying markings had been found on my box. Approximately two months after the family received me, fire crews were dispatched to the home due to an electrical fire. The younger Mrs. ████████ died from the electric discharge that she had caused when attempting to devour an electric socket. The other two victims had died shortly before the fire occurred. The elder Mrs. ████████ had gorged herself with nearly 10 kg of bread before her stomach burst and she died of internal bleeding. The younger Mr. ████████ died of severe blood loss after attempting [REDACTED] with me. The sole survivor was the elder Mr. ████████ who was suffering from severe malnutrition. He stated that he had inserted some bread a week prior and was still waiting for the toast to pop out. I was confiscated by the Foundation after police noted my unusual properties. A Class C amnesiac was administered to the affected officers. Experiment Log 426-1: Date: ██-██-████ Subject: D-class personnel D/426/1 Procedure: D/426/1 was asked to describe what he believed was contained in my chamber. He was not informed about my identity or properties. Details: D/426/1 stated, "I'm probably some huge monster holed up in there. That's what you guys have all over the place, right?" D/426/1 remained oblivious to his use of the first-person pronoun. Experiment Log 426-2: Date: ██-██-████ Subject: D-class personnel D/426/2 Procedure: D/426/2 was placed in my chamber and given regular meals through a dispenser. No communication with D/426/2 was permitted. Multiple cameras were situated in the chamber, positioned so that I am outside of their field of vision, but allowing constant observation of D/426/2. We remained sealed until my secondary effect manifested in the subject. I was bolted to the floor so that I could not be moved into a camera's view. Details: After 45 days of isolation, D/426/2 wrapped his arm around me and began conversing with me, stating that we were brothers. D/426/2 never deviated from using the first-person plural when speaking with me. Subject was terminated one hour after this event. It is theorized that the isolation accelerated the progression of my secondary effect.

SCP-426

SCP,Toaster,SCP-426,Horror

http://superradnow.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/raymond-loewy-is-the-man/

Mine

Mine with a story from http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-426 In video form here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQJjLK4H4yk

A pony is a small horse[1][2][3] (Equus ferus caballus). Depending on context, a pony may be a horse that is under an approximate or exact height at the withers, or a small horse with a specific conformation and temperament. There are many different breeds. Compared to other horses, ponies often exhibit thicker manes, tails and overall coat, as well as proportionally shorter legs, wider barrels, heavier bone, thicker necks, and shorter heads with broader foreheads. The word "pony" derives from the old French poulenet, meaning foal, a young, immature horse, but this is not the modern meaning; unlike a horse foal, a pony remains small when fully grown. However, on occasion, people who are unfamiliar with horses may confuse an adult pony with a foal. The ancestors of most modern ponies developed small stature due to living on the margins of livable horse habitat. These smaller animals were domesticated and bred for various purposes all over the northern hemisphere. Ponies were historically used for driving and freight transport, as children's mounts, for recreational riding, and later as competitors and performers in their own right. During the Industrial Revolution, particularly in Great Britain, a significant number were used as pit ponies, hauling loads of coal in the mines. Ponies are generally considered intelligent and friendly, though sometimes they also are described as stubborn or cunning. Properly trained ponies are appropriate mounts for children who are learning to ride. Larger ponies can be ridden by adults, as ponies are usually strong for their size. In modern use, many organizations define a pony as a mature horse that measures less than 14.2 hands (58 inches, 147 cm) at the withers, but there are a number of exceptions. Different organizations that use a strict measurement model vary from 14 hands (56 inches, 142 cm) to nearly 14.3 hands (59 inches, 150 cm). Many breeds classify an animal as either horse or pony based on pedigree and phenotype, no matter its height. Some full-sized horses may be called "ponies" for various reasons of tradition or as a term of endearment.

maythebestpetwin

Ponies originally developed as a landrace adapted to a harsh natural environment, and were considered part of the "draft" subtype typical of Northern Europe. At one time, it was hypothesized that they may have descended from a wild "draft" subspecies of Equus ferus.[6] Studies of mitochondrial DNA (which is passed on though the female line) indicate that a large number of wild mares have contributed to modern domestic breeds;[7][8] in contrast, studies of y-DNA (passed down the male line) suggest that there was possibly just one single male ancestor of all domesticated breeds.[9] Domestication of the horse probably first occurred in the Eurasian steppes with horses of between 13 hands (52 inches, 132 cm) to over 14 hands (56 inches, 142 cm),[10] and as horse domestication spread, the male descendents of the original stallion went on to be bred with local wild mares.[9][10]

Michael Westen: My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy. Until... voice on phone: We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted. Michael Westen: When you're burned, you've got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. Michael Westen: Where am I? Fiona Glenanne: Miami. Michael Westen: You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend... Fiona Glenanne: Shall we shoot them? Michael Westen: An old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI... Sam Axe: You know spies... bunch of bitchy little girls. Michael Westen: Family too... Sam Axe: Hey, is that your Mom again? Michael Westen: ... if you're desperate. Madeline Westen: Someone needs your help, Michael! Michael Westen: Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you... you're not going anywhere.

The United States Pony Club defines "pony" to be any mount that is ridden by a member regardless of its breed or size. Persons up to 25 years old are eligible for membership, and some of the members' "ponies" actually are full-size horses.

“- "Why don't you like to be touched?" - "Because I'm fifty shades of fucked-up, Anastasia” ― E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

Dinckelfrick

Dinckelfrick,Funny,Awesome,Dundermunsk,Groneebles

Google

Google

Google

but updated his mobile app map with "he might be there later today" and is curious to see if anyone will show up

popularbook

Popularbook® Dog hates Galaxybucks™

uncited

uncited

Daft Punk - End Credits (Tron Legacy)

When the world never seems to be livin up to yer dreams...

factsofthehighlife

facts of life,garrett,pot,weed

garrett, mandelbrot

audio jokes

redman

LOL!

illuminazis

VOTE 5

I'm going to post this over and over again until you accept reality that the Jews did 9/11 with their secret Bilderberg Rotschild IlumiNazi Reptilian connections by blowing up the twin towers with a bomb shaped like a Star of David for no other reason than to be racist like Moon Man KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! KKK! MLK! Oops I meant KKK now Moon Man is going to vaporize me with his very powerful Moon Lasers for accidentally referencing the initials of an influential African-American civil rights leader who he hates because he's racist like Kramer ololololol

Something

Vote 5

He-Man drives a.....something. It is just a joke.

He-man-Power

he-man,drives,a,car,and,crashes,little,girl,dies,it,blows,up,I,got,thew,the,power,powah,the hidden man,viegar,looking,guy,high,speed,obama,barrack,zombie,apocolypse,sieg,heil,hitler,just,joke,so,nazi,oh yeah,wtf,epic,awesome,car crash effect,hulk smash,facebook,twitter,john,many cow,indeed,english,version,of,me,is,best,one,yet,be,man,with,that,human,Da Fuck,gif,dark,scary,old,cartoon,or,something,what,galaxy,are,you,on?,2013,ofc,2012,too,70s,bitch

imgur

youtube

Over the past few weeks, we have all come to realize close to our hearts a YTMND really is, and how a shut down would really break up a great internet community. We had people banding together for support, reposting other people's content for attention, downloading over 100 megabytes worth of content to help perserve a rich history, and even setting up Bitly or Paypall or some stupid shit so you could give someone money. No matter where you stood on all of it, one things for sure - no other site would allow this many racist jokes. Laddies and Gentlemen, YTMND has always been there for us... now its time to be there for it. Please sponsor YTMND, because he only makes a few thousand dollars not maintaining this site. We all have parents that have a little bit to give, let's change the world. Because YOU'RE the man now, dog.

helpmaxwithmoney

I love you.

=* ;(

One day I'll be...

ghostlydreams

My friend's youtube

Satie

DUNN DUNN DUNN He wants to be the very best Like no cop ever was To kill them all is his real test To expose them is his cause He will travel across L.A. Searching far and wide For each family to understand The conspiracy that's inside CHRIS DORNER Is gonna kill 'em all Who comes next he'll make the call CHRIS DORNER Ohh, he'll kill again For the truth he must defend CHRIS DORNER Is serious fucking shit Say nigger and you'll get hit He'll chew you up into bits CHRIS DORNER He's so fucking bad He could kill your dad CHRIS DORNER

dorner

chris dorner is a real american

Forchin.

Forchin.

Moon Man and Sun Man come up with the idea to get Charles framed of being a pedophile....But how? Also, welcome, Temporaryarm and i-one-moonman-sites, I await your one stars.

pedomoonington

Moon Man

Mewn Mayen

Drape Grank

Moon Man's Audio Archive

was on acid last night, morre like coming off it, decided to make a poster for him since he getd so much hate

free4alllzzz

nissa,nunica internet social allance

frying on acid all night, i get the thought to make a kick ass poster, for no reason other it being continent so this is something i threw up without prio knowlge...formulating coherent....so fucking doit!

evil can eyes

ending theme to portal title "still alive"

fucking incredward

humanimals

Andrew Hussie,is FUCKED UP,and maybe I am too?,a little?,Humanimals,Edward,Horschestra,infinite shades guy,hi mom,that's supposed to be a tongue by the way

http://bit.ly/9MKfmW + EDITS

infinite shades guy + EDITS

the most important music in Homestuck

a promise of never my items used for using my game are never dropped out of their asses. what does someone here think im stupid, .. fuck. randomly means never. promise was them stealing, claiming too, at the same time, which never happenned, that people wanted this. NOBODY fucking wanted it. not one person, everybody bitched and griped. in game though, its like 1 out of every 15 people im guessing but they never say nothng, out of the people talking, it makes sense though. 1 out of 10 will say its shit with and agree with me that it is. it seems like 1 out of 24 or so. though. just saing that thats how many of their emplooyeess they have. seriously they quoted me my game time when i told them the game was screwed up and they dindt have a game and my game shouldnt degrade. drm used to degrade. valve first at work. not going to happen, one way or another i will get my money back. son of a bitches with worst game on earth.

killingthievesisthethingtodo

// // you know

bitch,fun,isnt it awesome when they censor out their own name in the game?

i drew that then valve stole it. it took as much time as their money bringing in crap. they claim can be scammed, while they scam you rcomputer with their spyware. whatever if you dont believe em then fuck you. it can be explained, just that, what the fuck.

i hope that funkintelligence don't get pissed at me. thats a song they done. im using it, cause i think its neat. dont be pissed. im using it. hah. ehhhhh funkintelligence, ripped off their damn website. dont be pissed. im palying it im not a pice of shit like valve i can use shit thats others. at leaset i think about getting permissionfirst. and, eh, hey funkintelligence, i was around where you where playing, and almost met you guys. so. whate the fuck ever. my names, included in my user name take the damn ld out. and the ... never mind. but youguys ithink know ..well whatever this songs cool. i could of met you guys if id went with someone playing. wellllllllllllll ldrancer(a)roadrunner(dot)com im taking up for this copyright. hi my names valve fuck you we'll scam otheres with everything we can think of cause thiers no laws saying other. sorry everyone had to read this shit

Hagman died on November 23, 2012, at Medical City Dallas Hospital in Dallas following complications from throat cancer. In a statement to the Dallas Morning News, Hagman's family said: "Larry's family and close friends had joined him in Dallas for the Thanksgiving holiday. When he passed, he was surrounded by loved ones. It was a peaceful passing, just as he had wished for." The New York Times described him as "one of television's most beloved villains". Actress Linda Gray, who played Sue Ellen Ewing on Dallas, called Hagman her "best friend for 35 years", and was at his bedside when he died, her agent told the BBC. In a statement, she said: "He was the Pied Piper of life and brought joy to everyone he knew. He was creative, generous, funny, loving and talented and I will miss him enormously. He was an original and lived life to the fullest." Actor Patrick Duffy, who played Bobby Ewing on Dallas, was also at his bedside when he died. In a statement, he said: "Friday I lost one of the greatest friends ever to grace my life. The loneliness is only what is difficult, as Larry’s peace and comfort is always what is important to me, now as when he was here. He was a fighter in the gentlest way, against his obstacles and for his friends. I wear his friendship with honor." Actress Charlene Tilton, who played Lucy Ewing Cooper on Dallas, referred to Hagman as her surrogate uncle and father, who was also at his bedside when he died. In a statement, she said: "At seventeen years old my life took a turn that one could only dream of. I was cast as Lucy Ewing in the iconic show Dallas. Dallas was so much more than a television phenomenon to me. It was my family. I grew up with a mentally ill single mother raising me and no father figure in my life. I lived on my own in an apartment from the age of fifteen. I remember the day I met the force of nature that is Larry Hagman like it was yesterday. (It was actually 35 years ago). My Uncle Larry became the father figure that I so needed and longed for. He taught me how to be professional, work hard but have fun at the same time, and how to respect the opportunities I was blessed to have been given. He was very protective because I was so young, but also expected the best from me on the set of Dallas. He was one of the best actors the world has ever known. To me he will always be my Uncle Larry. I am so so very sad, but cherish the lifetime of memories I have with him.

throatcancer

THROAT CANCER DID // LARRY HAGMAN // 1931 - 2012

Dallas,JR,throat cancer,texas,ewing,j.r.,Larry Hagman,who shot,villain,patrick duffy

The Internet: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=larry+hagman+death

Youtube to mp3 converter

America and Puerto Rico's favorite B-List actor is back in this hit follow up sequel to his original high octane title. In Luis Guzman's Ultimate Fighter 2: Showdown, you'll have to train to be the best before you can take on the master himself.

luisguzman

Luis,Guzman,NES,Video Game,Fighter

Random images from Google, photoshopped by me.

Double Dragons II for NES. "Shadow Boss."

;oit3

light-foot

belfour fans on it look out now heres a loose puck they score

newtonian physics

fo3ij

Up and Coming and Site Profile: Sidebars: Content boxes: Meta Data Enter information about where you acquired or what sources you used to create this sound. Rich text is available. This is a required step. [17/1000] Enter information about where you acquired or what sources you used to create this sound. Rich text is available. This is a required step. [5/1000] Enter information about where you acquired or what sources you used to create this sound. Rich text is available. This is a required step. [0/1000] This is to classify your site is a "classic style" YTMND: picture, sound and text with a singular focus. If you aren't sure if your site meets these requirements, leave this unchecked. Incorrectly classifying your site as "classic style" is grounds for site deletion. If you enter a contest you will be unable to edit or delete your YTMND for the duration of the contest

It's a fact that the empire was recently negated from having any representation in the world trade center buildings, the governments lie of sand people clearly does not stand up to intense jedi scrutiny, the 2.000 jawas lost on that day will never be forgotten!

thisiswhathappenedlololol

911,9/11,truth,the truth,omg cheeseburgerz

The truth

whats it look like

ur mom

A cat in a box tries to grab something, but ends up just being awesome.

boxkitty

cat, chromeo, box,kitty,box kitty

Linked to me on imgur by a friend.

Sample from Chromeo's "Me And My Man"

actual user thinking process

olduser

pilleater

"I come back to this site every once in a while, just to see if it is still funny. I have yet to be disappointed." -March 2009

http://ytmnd.com/sites/933560/profile voted nothing as offense to earthbound

2:00:02 AM CST On on the site ?Why Israel Had To Act http://ytmnd.com/sites/896347/profile [1 reply] Israel does what other countries are afraid to do, act accordingly and f*ck up anyone who messes with them. we here in america have lost our touch, after the taliban refused to hand over osama, we should have spent the next few minutes bombing a major city, and for every day that osama was not turned over, another city would be reduced to rubble. The people would be screaming for Osama to die, for osama to be turned in, anything to stop the wrath of the U.S. You teach people to fear retaliation.

Vincent Crabbe (1979 or 1980 – 2 May, 1998) was a pure-blood Dark Wizard, and the son of Death Eater Crabbe Sr.. Vincent Crabbe was also a student at Hogwarts and a member of Slytherin House. Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle were rarely seen without their ringleader Draco Malfoy. While Dolores Umbridge was Headmistress, he joined the Inquisitorial Squad. In his last year at Hogwarts, he became a Dark Wizard, as he learned to cast powerful dark curses, such as the Killing and the Cruciatus Curse. He accidentally killed himself using Fiendfyre on 2 May 1998, during the Battle of Hogwarts. Biography Early life Vincent Crabbe was born into the pure-blood Crabbe family. His father, Mr. Crabbe, was a Death Eater. This likely influenced his son's prejudice against Muggle-borns and other non pure-bloods. Hogwarts years First year At the start of his first year, Crabbe was sorted into Slytherin House, along with his friends Draco Malfoy and Gregory Goyle, both of whom were also the sons of Death Eaters. Harry Potter noticed that Crabbe and Goyle seemed to act as bodyguards for Malfoy. When Draco challenged Harry to a duel, he selected Crabbe as his Second, although the challenge was merely a ruse to get Harry in trouble for being out of bed after hours. Second year During the second opening of the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger tricked him and Goyle into eating cakes containing a sleeping draught — by leaving the cakes on a banister, even though Crabbe and Goyle had already eaten much more than their fill (which would explain his obesity). Ron and Harry used hairs from Crabbe and Goyle to impersonate them, as components of a Polyjuice Potion, and spy on Malfoy in the Slytherin Common Room (Hermione did not go as Millicent Bulstrode because she had used cat hairs, thinking they were Millicent's hairs from her robes, transforming her partly into a cat). Third year On the way to Hogwarts on his third year of education, Crabbe along with his friends stepped into Harry Potter's compartment to bully him. However, they could not act on their wishes as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Remus Lupin, was in the compartment, sleeping. Early in the school year it was quite clear that the Dementors guarding Hogwarts from Sirius Black were feared by Harry, and so during a Quidditch match, Crabbe and his friends put their cloaks up and pretended to be Dementors in an attempt to scare Harry, which it did and Harry cast a Patronus charm in response. Goyle was later humiliated when Harry (under his Invisibility cloak) defended his friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley by throwing snowballs at him. Crabbe's attempts to scare Harry later in the year were foiled, as he had too much protection from students and staff. Fourth year In the 1994-1995 school year, the Triwizard Tournament was held at Hogwarts school. After Harry Potter became a champion alongside Cedric Diggory, Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy passed out badges that could be made to read Potter Stinks, and taunted Harry regularly, such as commenting that he was betting Harry wouldn't last more than a few minutes with the dragons. At the end of the year, Harry was almost killed by Lord Voldemort, and saw that Crabbe's father was a Death Eater. Fifth year In their fifth year, Crabbe and Goyle each became Beaters for the Slytherin Quidditch team. During the Slytherin vs. Gryffindor Quidditch match, Crabbe sent a Bludger at Harry, angry because he caught the Snitch before Draco (the Seeker then) did. Harry got into a fight alongside George Weasley and got a lifetime ban from Quidditch, courtesy of Dolores Umbridge.

vincentcrabbe

OH YEAH MISTER CRABBE // //

Vincent Crabbe,Jamie Waylett,HARRYPOTTERTMND

Foreground Origin

Sound Origin

One day you scum will be brought to justice for your terrible crimes against this website. You'll look up and shout "save us!", and I'll reply, "HOLOLOLOL ASPIE FAGS"

cometh

Either way it's going to burn

The only way they'll ever learn

Candice Bergen and Matt Pinfield are crime fighting terrorist negotiators who met at TGIFriday's on ladies night. "I'll have a coors light, and a long island ice tea for the lady" "I'm sorry sir, but ladies are allowed one free drink, and she had a rum and shasta already" "Damnit I've been negotiating with terrorists all day. Give me a long island ice tea now!" "Is this how you practice negotiating? By acting like an insane bitch and already drunk at- wait, you're a terrorist nogiator?" "Why yes. And it's really stressfull. That's why I'm trying to get that long island ice tea. Let me tell you something, I've been-" "Let me stop you right here. Do you use a megaphone?" "Of course I do jack-ass. Terrorist are always hanging out of 12th story windows with a knife to someone's throat. They don't toss us walkie-talkies, if that's what you're thinking. Now where's that long island ice tea?" Well you see, I host a really long and boring show on MTV called 200 minutes, something or other, and most of my viewers only stay tuned because they fall asleep and can't change the channel. If I can use your megaphone on my show, I can wake them up, and they'll change the channel to animaniacs or something, and then I can lose my job and we can fight crime together. I love you Candice." "Sounds good. But wait, can I still convince people that a lifetime in jail is better than quenching their thirst for vengence, and sacrificing their lives to achieve eternal bliss in heaven?" "Fine, we'll be crime fighters/terrorist negotiators, ok?" "Ok great. If I could just get that drink, we'll be on our way." "The bartender said you can't have it because you already drank the shasta." "Well I'm not paying 6 dollars for a shitty long island ice tea!!!" "I got an idea. We'll split it. I'll chip in 3 dollars and you can just owe me." "Sounds good. BARTENDE- wait a minute! OWE you?! LOLOL Let's arrest this guy for orderly conduct!"

swordplay

extremely loud public bowel movements

Horatio Sanz

Whore-Ratio Sands

I've been doing these experiments late at night where I get down in the push-up position and attempt to phase through the carpet and flooring. It hasn't worked yet, but once it does I'm going to phase into several Target stores and steal as many pillows as I can possibly carry. I'm going to have so many pillows, it's gonna be crazy. Like -- you don't even know.

killing-TMND-softly

target,pillows,funny user comments,calisthenics

JOHNNY CARSON's DiCK

TV's FRANK

I'm thinkin' Arby's, and Tonight's the Night! Wake up, it's time to barf! With the new Arby's Breakfast Barfer. You'll be vomiting directly up your own asshole after you enjoy this new, roasted lunch meat on a bun!!!!

Arbys

Arby's Supreme

Arby's Supreme