HDGAMEologists Chad Warden, Anthony Perez, and Elchivofr are called to the H-Town Public Library to investigate recent Nintendo activity. They encounter the ghost of a Wii, who haunted a gamer named Volcop13 but are frightened away when it shapeshifts into a dildo. After losing their jobs at H-Town, the trio establish a gay nigga investigation and elimination service known as "GhostBallers". They develop high-tech equipment capable of capturing fanboys and open their business in a poor, bitch-ass cardboard box. Elchivofr warns them never to cross the Wii streams of their dildo weapons, as this could cause a catastrophic Shoveupyownassgame. They capture their first fanboy, Nick Bass, at a hotel and deposit him in a specially built PSTriple in their Caddy. As fanboy activity increases in H-Town, they hire a fourth member, Armake21, to cope with demand.
The Ghostballers are retained by dat Asian bitch, whose apartment is haunted by a demonic fanboy, M6, a gay nigga worshiped as a servant to Mario, a Mexican-ass nigga. Chad takes a particular interest in the case, and competes with Asian bitch's neighbor, lil' fat bitch BrennsY5463, for her affections. As the Ghostballers investigate, Asian bitch is possessed by M6, which declares itself the "BASU-DA", and BrennsY5463 by a similar fanboy, Robert, the "Xbox Fan". Both fanboys speak of the coming of the Mexican Mario and the release of the imprisoned fanboys, and the Ghostballers take steps to keep the two apart.
Reggie, a lawyer representing Nintendo, has the Ghostballers arrested for operating unlicensed PSTriple handlers and orders their fanboy containment system deactivated, causing an explosion that releases hundreds of fanboys. The fanboys wreak havoc throughout the city while Robert/BrennsY5463 advances toward Asian Bitch/M6's apartment. Their mad gay encounter opens the gate and transforms them into Mexican-ass niggaz. Consulting blueprints of Asian Bitch's apartment building, the Ghostballers learn that mad fanboy and cult leader Shigeru Miyamoto, claiming gaming was too sick to survive after the 80s video game crash, designed the building as a gateway to summon Mario and bring about the end of games.
The Ghostballers are released from custody to combat the Nintendo crisis, but after reaching the roof of Asian bitch's building, they are unable to prevent the arrival of Mario, who appears in the form of a plumber. Briefly subdued by the team, Mario disappears, but his voice echoes that the "Super Smash" will follow, taking a form chosen by the team. Anthony inadvertently recalls a beloved Sony mascot from his childhood—"something that could never, ever possibly destroy us"— and the Super Smash arrives in the form of a Giant Enemy Crab and attacks the city. The Ghostballers cross their dildo energy streams (reversing the Wii flow) and fire them against Mario's portal; the explosion defeats the Giant Enemy Crab and frees Asian Bitch and BrennsY5463. As thousands of true niggaz wipe themselves free of crab meat, the Ghostballers are welcomed on the street as heroes.