iPhone 3K
Created on: October 27th, 2011
Who needs SIRI when you have Moon Man?
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Apple actually will release the iPhone 3K because Moon Man exhumed Steve Jobs' corpse and made a suit out of it his remains, and he is going into Apple corporate HQ tomorrow. It will go a little something like this:
"Hey guys, Steve Jobs here, I didn't actually die and I am feeling much better now thank you. Just ignore the crescent-shaped protrusion from the top of my head because I am very sensitive about it and still have firing capability. Now I am going to change that crappy iPhone 4S to make it something much better and also to install a proximity sensor that shoots out lasers whenever black people are nearby. There that's done, enjoy the iPhone 3K. Now I am going to steal your microwave popcorn from the break room and replace it with heat-activated anthrax spores, and I will also seed the frozen pizzas with meatball-shaped alien eggs that will hatch after being microwaved and quickly grow into rampaging aliens. It will be just like in that episode of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles except that even more black people will die. ol ol ol. Oh excuse me ma'am, could you please hold that elevator so that I can rape you and stuff your corpse into the janitor's mop bucket, after which I will melt your body down with caustic floor cleaner and then mop your gooey remains all over the linoleum floor because that is what I call personnel redistribution kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"
Or something to that effect.
"Hey guys, Steve Jobs here, I didn't actually die and I am feeling much better now thank you. Just ignore the crescent-shaped protrusion from the top of my head because I am very sensitive about it and still have firing capability. Now I am going to change that crappy iPhone 4S to make it something much better and also to install a proximity sensor that shoots out lasers whenever black people are nearby. There that's done, enjoy the iPhone 3K. Now I am going to steal your microwave popcorn from the break room and replace it with heat-activated anthrax spores, and I will also seed the frozen pizzas with meatball-shaped alien eggs that will hatch after being microwaved and quickly grow into rampaging aliens. It will be just like in that episode of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles except that even more black people will die. ol ol ol. Oh excuse me ma'am, could you please hold that elevator so that I can rape you and stuff your corpse into the janitor's mop bucket, after which I will melt your body down with caustic floor cleaner and then mop your gooey remains all over the linoleum floor because that is what I call personnel redistribution kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"
Or something to that effect.
KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK KKK
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