tales of brave ulysses
posted by max on February 04, 2009 at 10:44:06 AM
Hello my orange-fingered amigos,
Welcome to the first YTMND "Cheetos Boredom Busters". This six part series will occur once per week over the next month and a half and cover a variety of topics people tend to take too seriously.
As I sit here typing on my laptop in a bathtub full of Cheetos drinking Mountain Dew out of a champagne flute, I am reminded why I run this website. I am constantly stressed out about getting work done, or at least giving the appearance of getting work done. Those of you that are gainfully employed probably know what I mean.
Even things that aren't normally considered work can certainly feel like it. For instance I went to ROFLcon last week where I spent the entire day drinking as it's the only coping mechanism I've found to help me deal with people from the internet. I decided that I would attend the after-party later that evening and after laying down my credit card and having a couple of drinks, I tried to sign out. It turns out there was a "$50 minimum" on credit card tabs and I had only done $14 of damage (and around 9 hours of drinking previously). Just my luck beers were only $4. I pulled up a stool and sat down for a long night of hard work.
Despite the hours I had to spend struggling to remain in a vertical position and the subsequent effort it took washing dishes to pay off the tab when my credit card was declined, I maintained a laid-back attitude throughout. I know that with a terrible economy and recession looming over us it's hard to take work anything but seriously, but I implore you: chill out. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
If you're reading this and you happen to be at work, you've already taken a step in the right direction. Don't let the man get you down. While you're avoiding work, it might be a good idea to start hoarding office supplies that you can sell on eBay when you get laid off.
Welcome to the first YTMND "Cheetos Boredom Busters". This six part series will occur once per week over the next month and a half and cover a variety of topics people tend to take too seriously.
As I sit here typing on my laptop in a bathtub full of Cheetos drinking Mountain Dew out of a champagne flute, I am reminded why I run this website. I am constantly stressed out about getting work done, or at least giving the appearance of getting work done. Those of you that are gainfully employed probably know what I mean.
Even things that aren't normally considered work can certainly feel like it. For instance I went to ROFLcon last week where I spent the entire day drinking as it's the only coping mechanism I've found to help me deal with people from the internet. I decided that I would attend the after-party later that evening and after laying down my credit card and having a couple of drinks, I tried to sign out. It turns out there was a "$50 minimum" on credit card tabs and I had only done $14 of damage (and around 9 hours of drinking previously). Just my luck beers were only $4. I pulled up a stool and sat down for a long night of hard work.
Despite the hours I had to spend struggling to remain in a vertical position and the subsequent effort it took washing dishes to pay off the tab when my credit card was declined, I maintained a laid-back attitude throughout. I know that with a terrible economy and recession looming over us it's hard to take work anything but seriously, but I implore you: chill out. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
If you're reading this and you happen to be at work, you've already taken a step in the right direction. Don't let the man get you down. While you're avoiding work, it might be a good idea to start hoarding office supplies that you can sell on eBay when you get laid off.
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You sold (prostituted) yourself out to Cheetos? Let me ask you, were the corporate businessmen courteous enough to use lubrication when they stuck their tiny capitalistic schmeckle up your ass? Were the butthole pleasures worth sacrificing the miniscule amount of respect that you received from the endangered species of intelligent YTMND users? And you don't give a damn about the money, right?
and that brings us back to this whole Cheetos fiasco. How the hell did you manage to get an advertising deal like that? It's like MC Hammer doing commercials for Cash4Gold.com, only Cheetos is way more popular than Cash4Gold.com. Also, according to Google Trends, YTMND and MC Hammer are equally popular, which means we are as prominent as a burnt-out F-list broke celebrity that's referenced more as a punchline than a one-hit wonder 80's rap sensation