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Can't touch this (x2) Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2) My-my-my-my music hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet It feels good when you know you're down A superdope homeboy from the Oaktown And I'm known as such And this is a beat uh u can't touch I told you homeboy u can't touch this Yeah that's how we're livin' and you know u can't touch this Look in my eyes man u can't touch this You know let me bust the funky lyrics u can't touch this Fresh new kicks and pants You got it like that now you know you wanna dance So move out of your seat And get a fly girl and catch this beat While it's rollin' hold on pump a little bit And let me know it's going on like that like that Cold on a mission so pull on back Let 'em know that you're too much And this is a beat uh u can't touch Yo I told you u can't touch this Why you standing there man u can't touch this Yo sound the bells school is in sucker u can't touch this Give me a song or rhythm Making 'em sweat that's what I'm giving 'em Now they know when you talk about the Hammer You talk about a show that's hyped and tight Singers are sweatin' so pass them a mic Or a tape to learn what it's gonna take And now he's gonna burn The charts legit either work hard Or you might as well quit That's word because you know U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2) Break it down (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh) (x4) Stop Hammer time Go with the flow in a spin if you can't move to this Then you probably are dead So wave your hands in the air Bust throught the moves run your fingers through your hair This is it for a winner Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner Move slide your rump Just for a minute let's all do the bump Bump bump bump yeah U can't touch this Look man u can't touch this You'll probably get hyped boy 'Cause you know you can't u can't touch this Ring the bell school's back in break it down (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x4) Stop Hammer time (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2) (Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh) (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can't touch this (x3) (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2) Stop Hammer time Every time you see me that Hammer's just so hype I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic Now why would I ever stop doing this With others makin' records that just don't hit I toured around the world from London to the BAY It's Hammer go Hammer mc hammer yo hammer and the rest can go and play U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2) U can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh) Yeah u can't touch this I told you u can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh) Too hype can't touch this Get me outta here u can't touch this (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

valeria-hammertime

Mc Hammer. <3 // //

What's up YTMND? I'm a proud '06er, and I'm working on an iPad game called Redacted. It's an intelligent yet low-brow crossbreed of Apples to Apples and Madlibs. Players take turns holding the iPad and submitting answers to the round's judge. The judge picks the answer that he likes best, and a new round starts. You can find more information on the Facebook page: goo.gl/qkEiz Please like the page and you'll find out more about the app as it nears completion in September. If you have ideas for cards, feel free to post them here. I've already written over 1000 answers, and 400 questions, but I'd love to see what others can brainstorm. The app will allow users to write their own cards, so plan ahead!

redacted

moon man is a god i saw a movie on new grounds and it inspired me to make this

MoonManIsAGod

im no moon man // im a moon god // thats what i am

The ACLU is suing the Pentagon and CIA for using drones to kill U.S. citizens in the phony "War on Terror." "War for Pipelines" is more like it: see http://pipelines.curry.com and http://426.nashownotes.com (the No Agenda Podcast Pipeline Report, the most important episode [b]EVER[/b]). The article is originally from Wired Magazine's Website.

dronelawsuit

WHEN THE BEATS IN THE HOUSE MA, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5; WHEN SKRILLEX TRIES TO GET AT YOU, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5; AND IF A DJ GET AN ATTITUDE, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5, DROP IT LIKE IT'S MAU5; I GOT SOME CHORDS ON MY MIX, I'MA SHOW YOU SOME TRICKS AND WHEN I PLAY MY HOTTEST RECORD, YOU'LL BE SHITTING SOME BRICKS

snoopmau5

My fourth song on The YTMND Bailout: Volume 1 is "For the Love of Money" by the O'Jays. Perhaps it is best known today for its use in advertising the hit NBC "reality" show The Apprentice starring Donald Trump. It was a bit hit in the 1970s, however, and is one of the most well-know popular songs specifically about money. Enjoy, and please buy it at iTunes and Amazon.com if you like it!

fortheluvofmoney

Saturn is the sixth planet from the Sun and the second largest planet in the Solar System, after Jupiter. Named after the Roman god Saturn, its astronomical symbol (♄) represents the god's sickle. Saturn is a gas giant with an average radius about nine times that of Earth.[12][13] While only one-eighth the average density of Earth, with its larger volume Saturn is just over 95 times as massive as Earth.[14][15][16] Saturn's interior is probably composed of a core of iron, nickel and rock (silicon and oxygen compounds), surrounded by a deep layer of metallic hydrogen, an intermediate layer of liquid hydrogen and liquid helium and an outer gaseous layer.[17] Electrical current within the metallic hydrogen layer is thought to give rise to Saturn's planetary magnetic field, which is slightly weaker than Earth's and around one-twentieth the strength of Jupiter's.[18] The outer atmosphere is generally bland and lacking in contrast, although long-lived features can appear. Wind speeds on Saturn can reach 1,800 km/h (1,100 mph), faster than on Jupiter, but not as fast as those on Neptune.[19] Saturn has a ring system that consists of nine continuous main rings and three discontinuous arcs, composed mostly of ice particles with a smaller amount of rocky debris and dust. Sixty-two[20] known moons orbit the planet; fifty-three are officially named. This does not include the hundreds of "moonlets" within the rings. Titan, Saturn's largest and the Solar System's second largest moon, is larger than the planet Mercury and is the only moon in the Solar System to retain a substantial atmosphere.

klargesaturn

it's okay to be loud as fuck for a short period of time in places where it would be otherwise inappropriate if it's a sports thing

hellyeswoohoo

forgot it was on my hardrive, ok i didnt forget, damn site dont work.

moonman12

wkkkrp // //

Notorious navy seal copy pasta turned song hat the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your Life. You're fucking Dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy Retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking Dead, kiddo.

navysealsong

In 2009. WWE worked a storyline in which Randy Orton punted Vince McMahon in the head as Vince was trying to fire him. The next week, as Orton "apologized" to Mr. McMahon and the McMahon family, Orton revealed that he was suffering from a mental disorder known as Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and claimed that 16 million Americans suffer from it yearly. Lo and Behold, on the July 8, 2012 episode of No Agenda, hosts Adam Curry and John C. Dvorak discussed this disorder as part of the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a.k.a. DSM IV, and the treatments for it, including various Big Pharma drugs that are designed to treat mental disorders. As the first thing I thought of when Adam and John began to discuss IED on No Agenda was Orton's IED storyline, I decided to mash up Orton's IED storyline with Adam and John's discussion of IED. BTW, I think IED is a phony disease just invented to sell more drugs and make drug companies and corrupt doctors rich. Enjoy!

ied

Diabeetus? Just rub some butter on it, sugar!

paulabutterdean

Diabeetus? // Just rub some butter // on it, Sugar!

Yeah, the fad is old, but it required manufacturing. As usual, Max places his call on his shoe.

shoeonear

PUT SHOE ON EAR! // //

Lizards.

lizardgetiton

Eric Sykes was a fucking legend who deserves better than this nonsensical bullshit. But at least it wasn't LANDO IS NOT. Might as well take a great big shit on his grave.

sykes

Vincent Crabbe (1979 or 1980 – 2 May, 1998) was a pure-blood Dark Wizard, and the son of Death Eater Crabbe Sr.. Vincent Crabbe was also a student at Hogwarts and a member of Slytherin House. Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle were rarely seen without their ringleader Draco Malfoy. While Dolores Umbridge was Headmistress, he joined the Inquisitorial Squad. In his last year at Hogwarts, he became a Dark Wizard, as he learned to cast powerful dark curses, such as the Killing and the Cruciatus Curse. He accidentally killed himself using Fiendfyre on 2 May 1998, during the Battle of Hogwarts. Biography Early life Vincent Crabbe was born into the pure-blood Crabbe family. His father, Mr. Crabbe, was a Death Eater. This likely influenced his son's prejudice against Muggle-borns and other non pure-bloods. Hogwarts years First year At the start of his first year, Crabbe was sorted into Slytherin House, along with his friends Draco Malfoy and Gregory Goyle, both of whom were also the sons of Death Eaters. Harry Potter noticed that Crabbe and Goyle seemed to act as bodyguards for Malfoy. When Draco challenged Harry to a duel, he selected Crabbe as his Second, although the challenge was merely a ruse to get Harry in trouble for being out of bed after hours. Second year During the second opening of the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger tricked him and Goyle into eating cakes containing a sleeping draught — by leaving the cakes on a banister, even though Crabbe and Goyle had already eaten much more than their fill (which would explain his obesity). Ron and Harry used hairs from Crabbe and Goyle to impersonate them, as components of a Polyjuice Potion, and spy on Malfoy in the Slytherin Common Room (Hermione did not go as Millicent Bulstrode because she had used cat hairs, thinking they were Millicent's hairs from her robes, transforming her partly into a cat). Third year On the way to Hogwarts on his third year of education, Crabbe along with his friends stepped into Harry Potter's compartment to bully him. However, they could not act on their wishes as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Remus Lupin, was in the compartment, sleeping. Early in the school year it was quite clear that the Dementors guarding Hogwarts from Sirius Black were feared by Harry, and so during a Quidditch match, Crabbe and his friends put their cloaks up and pretended to be Dementors in an attempt to scare Harry, which it did and Harry cast a Patronus charm in response. Goyle was later humiliated when Harry (under his Invisibility cloak) defended his friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley by throwing snowballs at him. Crabbe's attempts to scare Harry later in the year were foiled, as he had too much protection from students and staff. Fourth year In the 1994-1995 school year, the Triwizard Tournament was held at Hogwarts school. After Harry Potter became a champion alongside Cedric Diggory, Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy passed out badges that could be made to read Potter Stinks, and taunted Harry regularly, such as commenting that he was betting Harry wouldn't last more than a few minutes with the dragons. At the end of the year, Harry was almost killed by Lord Voldemort, and saw that Crabbe's father was a Death Eater. Fifth year In their fifth year, Crabbe and Goyle each became Beaters for the Slytherin Quidditch team. During the Slytherin vs. Gryffindor Quidditch match, Crabbe sent a Bludger at Harry, angry because he caught the Snitch before Draco (the Seeker then) did. Harry got into a fight alongside George Weasley and got a lifetime ban from Quidditch, courtesy of Dolores Umbridge.

vincentcrabbe

OH YEAH MISTER CRABBE // //

FOXHOUND and the Cobra Unit have both had their series on YTMND -- now it's time for Dead Cell! Vamp is a member od Dead Cell. Born in Romania, his specialty is knives...

vamp

Journey into your inner peaceful place as the video tame console takes us to the mysterious shores known commonly as just "Waterfront City". Bathe in the enigmatic waters of the dark shores, and immerse yourself in foreign culture, both awe-inspiring and humbling. Sample the local cuisine on a seafaring ship and truly appreciate the city for its uniqueness and individuality. As you float on the black water, you can't help but be mesmerized.

TRANQUILItmndWaterfrontCity

Journey into your inner peaceful place as the video tame console takes us to Tramonto Bay, where the sun is always sleepy, and the skies are always the color of orange sherbet. Let the crystals on the water blink in your eyes as you taste the world renounced Tramonto Gelato - its citrus-y tang growing sweeter like the setting sun ahead. You need not relax and unwind, because a moment of Tramonto is a lifetime of relaxation.

TRANQUILItmndTropicalSunset

Journey into your inner peaceful place as the video tame console shows us a very rare sight: The bamboo moon dance. Every full moon, Eastern Festlig Bamboo grows rubbery and akimbo, with only the embouchured reed tops remaining stiff enough to hold a note. On a windy night, the plants will "sing" a melody as their limp leaves sway and shimmy in the coastal night breezes. It is said that any human who hears the melody can't help but shimmy along in time with the leaves. Come dance your cares away in on the Eastern Shores of Nöje Bay, where the Festlig Bamboo grows strong and harmonious.

TRANQUILItmndDanceoftheBambooLeaves

Some guy

hiiiii

I made a YMNTD On-Line Web-Based internet site after I saw Dark Wang do it and he had like 50 friends on the internet what was his friend.

ThanksDarkWang

Burn a Nigger

kkk88

watching Alien on BluRay, this popped up, and it's been bugging me to do it

jonesythecat

Journey into your inner peaceful place as the video tame console wakes us from fervid sleep to a promising night, full of tasty, shiny lights and delicious darkness above. Enjoy the artificial daylight as you look out your penthouse window and into an electric dawn. Get your best coat on, it's going to be a hell of a night.

TRANQUILItmndUpAllNight

Candice Bergen and Matt Pinfield are crime fighting terrorist negotiators who met at TGIFriday's on ladies night. "I'll have a coors light, and a long island ice tea for the lady" "I'm sorry sir, but ladies are allowed one free drink, and she had a rum and shasta already" "Damnit I've been negotiating with terrorists all day. Give me a long island ice tea now!" "Is this how you practice negotiating? By acting like an insane bitch and already drunk at- wait, you're a terrorist nogiator?" "Why yes. And it's really stressfull. That's why I'm trying to get that long island ice tea. Let me tell you something, I've been-" "Let me stop you right here. Do you use a megaphone?" "Of course I do jack-ass. Terrorist are always hanging out of 12th story windows with a knife to someone's throat. They don't toss us walkie-talkies, if that's what you're thinking. Now where's that long island ice tea?" Well you see, I host a really long and boring show on MTV called 200 minutes, something or other, and most of my viewers only stay tuned because they fall asleep and can't change the channel. If I can use your megaphone on my show, I can wake them up, and they'll change the channel to animaniacs or something, and then I can lose my job and we can fight crime together. I love you Candice." "Sounds good. But wait, can I still convince people that a lifetime in jail is better than quenching their thirst for vengence, and sacrificing their lives to achieve eternal bliss in heaven?" "Fine, we'll be crime fighters/terrorist negotiators, ok?" "Ok great. If I could just get that drink, we'll be on our way." "The bartender said you can't have it because you already drank the shasta." "Well I'm not paying 6 dollars for a shitty long island ice tea!!!" "I got an idea. We'll split it. I'll chip in 3 dollars and you can just owe me." "Sounds good. BARTENDE- wait a minute! OWE you?! LOLOL Let's arrest this guy for orderly conduct!"

swordplay

It's starting to feel like summer; are you starting to feel like a Popsicle®? Find this and other jokes on your Popsicle® sticks all summer long!

WhatKindOfMusicSticksWithYou

TAPED MUSIC! // //

Sitting on my washing machine, eating ice cream. It's cozy in this here garage.

splendidsweettea

YOU DON'T LIKE MUSE? // YOU DON'T LIKE PARAMORE? // YOU DON'T LIKE SWEET TEA?

The MEV Exocet from Exomotive drops it hard on the road and track.

exomotivedropithard

First part of an ongoing series. I'll bring out the next episode whenever I goddamn feel like it. and my nose was stuffy when i did this so I'm glad I got the pitch I did on marty's voice. Could be higher though, but the air quality is what it is here, so yeah.. deal with it.

Gaytothefuture