Why text-based adventures suck.
Created on: June 18th, 2006
Why text-based adventures suck.

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10 http://boards.4chan.org/v/res/95834844
8 http://laserx53213.livejournal.com/
7 http://boards.4chan.org/v/res/86773396
2 http://www.zhihu.com/topic/19776749/organize/entire
2 http://www.marinetraffic.com

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June 18th, 2006
(0)
ololol
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i like this. this is funny. i am happy. im sorry your fork retrieving tactic didnt work tho ;_;
June 18th, 2006
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clever
June 18th, 2006
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I swear there was a game where you could actually pick up a "fork in the road". Some jokes only work in text.
June 18th, 2006
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There was? Wow. I need to play that.
June 18th, 2006
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You win.
June 18th, 2006
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That would be the Xanth adventure game I believe.
June 18th, 2006
(0)
(i.e. That's the game that lets you get the fork in the road. It also lets you get a door that's a_jar).
June 18th, 2006
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I played Hitchhiker's also.
June 18th, 2006
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i love text based games :/
June 18th, 2006
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LOLZ
(0)
Teh win.
June 18th, 2006
(0)
Awesome!
June 18th, 2006
(0)
olololo
June 18th, 2006
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Get ye flask!
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text adventure ftw!!!!
June 18th, 2006
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This reminds me of that Muppet fork in the road thing. (Zork owns)
June 18th, 2006
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Love the music.
June 18th, 2006
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More like why being a retard sucks amirite????
June 18th, 2006
(0)
you should say "grab fork"
June 18th, 2006
(0)
I loled
June 19th, 2006
(0)
lol
June 19th, 2006
(0)
I LOVE MUDS!!!
June 19th, 2006
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Stab self was my favorite. It always worked even if you didn't have anything sharp at hand.
June 19th, 2006
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Classic parody. I appload you.
June 19th, 2006
(0)
:)
June 19th, 2006
(0)
-_-
June 19th, 2006
(0)
get ye flask!
June 19th, 2006
(0)
I remember picking up a fork in the road once. Some moron decided they should add text based adventure stuff to a console game a while ago. :/
June 19th, 2006
(0)
Oh, now I remember. It was Kingdom of Loathing! (google it)
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lol, smart ass.
June 19th, 2006
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You cannot get ye flask. It is firmly bolted to a wall which is bolted to the rest of the dungeon which is probably bolted to a castle.
June 19th, 2006
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You have been eaten by a lurking grue.
June 19th, 2006
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WHAT IS GRUE
June 19th, 2006
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BABY DON'T EAT ME
June 19th, 2006
(0)
...
June 19th, 2006
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Clever, but smooth it out...
June 19th, 2006
(0)
f*cking win.
June 19th, 2006
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HELLO, SAILOR!
June 19th, 2006
(0)
What time were text based adventure games huge? I've never played one.
June 19th, 2006
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Okay, this is pissing me off. Every time I open this YTMND, the internets die. What the hell?
June 19th, 2006
(0)
lol, true
June 19th, 2006
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aww man, hilarious!
June 19th, 2006
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heh i was playing return to zork the other day. "Want some rye!?"
June 19th, 2006
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My god, this takes me back.
June 19th, 2006
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ye olde f*ggot shop
June 19th, 2006
(0)
I would've said "turn off the game"
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5 for sound and truth
June 19th, 2006
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LOL awsome! Very original.
June 19th, 2006
(0)
I
June 19th, 2006
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Awesome.
June 19th, 2006
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I hate text adventures. You have do type EXACTLY what's needed, or else the game won't do anything.
(0)
>SEX THE TREE "You must be thinking of a different game!"
June 19th, 2006
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Nice
June 19th, 2006
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good times...
June 19th, 2006
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very clever
June 19th, 2006
(0)
grab fork
June 19th, 2006
(0)
first ytmnd to make me lol in ages
June 19th, 2006
(0)
Ah yes. As Yogi Berra once said "If you ever come to a fork in the road, take it."
June 19th, 2006
(0)
lawl, took me awhile to get it.
June 19th, 2006
(0)
ZORK!
June 19th, 2006
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HAW HAW HEW HAW THATS JUST f*ckING HILARIOUS ARENT YOU CLEVER
June 19th, 2006
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AHM HUNGRAH!!! NEED FORK!! >:(
June 19th, 2006
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there is no... fork?
June 19th, 2006
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Respect to your awesome YTMND skills, but I'm going to have to 2 it. I like Text Adventures.
June 19th, 2006
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lol
June 19th, 2006
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god i hope you know that a fork in the road is where the road seperates into two paths...
June 19th, 2006
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'go dennis'
June 19th, 2006
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YOU ARE LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY A GRUE
June 19th, 2006
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Text adventures FTW.
June 19th, 2006
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LMFAO TeXt Sucks
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Hahaha
June 19th, 2006
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lawl
June 19th, 2006
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Haha, I remember when I played monkey island as a kid, I was always clicking on the "fork" in the road trying to pick it up :(
June 19th, 2006
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ye old gaming
June 19th, 2006
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get fork
June 19th, 2006
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EXACTLY
June 19th, 2006
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You see a flask. >get ye flask. YOu can't get ye flask!
June 19th, 2006
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And you sit there for hours wondering why on Earth you cannot get ye flask!
June 19th, 2006
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Ahh, that Xanth game was enfuriating and awesome at the same time. Plus it had that naked half-fish chick.
June 19th, 2006
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Get that damn fork!
June 19th, 2006
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"Want some rye? couse ya do!"
June 19th, 2006
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claire danes
June 19th, 2006
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The good old days. *sniff*
June 19th, 2006
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lol.
June 19th, 2006
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text based adventures rule because in some games you _CAN_ actually do that.
June 19th, 2006
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clever
June 19th, 2006
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the fork in the road is likely to be eaten by a grue also fives
June 19th, 2006
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lawl
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This is actually pretty genius.
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:( ftw!
June 19th, 2006
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I love lame puns like this. Win.
June 19th, 2006
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so true.
June 19th, 2006
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pretty decent
June 19th, 2006
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>XYZZY
June 19th, 2006
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I five, but disagree. http://textparsergamesarethesh*t.ytmnd.com/
June 19th, 2006
(0)
Heh..True.
June 19th, 2006
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get fork
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Cute, but doesn't deserve #2
June 19th, 2006
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YOU CANNOT GET YE FORK! IT IS STUCK TO THY ROAD.
June 19th, 2006
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Genius. Plus great music.
June 19th, 2006
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Scott Adams ftw
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WTF? This is the most boring YTMND I've ever f*cking seen in my life.
June 19th, 2006
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pretty funny
June 19th, 2006
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Get ye flask
June 19th, 2006
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Funny, but I like text adventures :|
June 19th, 2006
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no, you cross a fork
June 19th, 2006
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You don't know what a "fork in a road" is. And Thy Dungronman 3 is awesome.
June 19th, 2006
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haha this makes me chuckle *haughtily giggles*
June 19th, 2006
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DAmnit with the puns
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epic fork-stealing maneuver
June 19th, 2006
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GEMSTONE 3!!!!!!!!
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ROEFULL
June 19th, 2006
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...all the dungeonman comments have been used. "Obvious exits are North, South and Dennis"
June 19th, 2006
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not funny
June 19th, 2006
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This is comedy gold.
June 19th, 2006
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Funny, but don't go ragging on text adventures. The own.
June 19th, 2006
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"Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Head or Tail of It" by Infocom might be what people are referring to. It was a a text adventure game I had for the Commodore64. There was a fork in the road you picked up, a door that was a jar, and the first puzzle was changing the phrase "shake a tower" to "take a shower". A lot of word-play like that...
June 19th, 2006
(0)
I uber lol'd.
June 19th, 2006
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thank God the Atari came out when I was 3.... I've heard horror stories about Zork and all that sh*t.
June 19th, 2006
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In Soviet Russia, road forks you!
June 19th, 2006
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i laughed :)
(0)
you win
June 19th, 2006
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LAWL! "get fork" nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
June 19th, 2006
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lol chocolate
June 19th, 2006
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>=(
June 19th, 2006
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hahah
June 19th, 2006
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I always input "Do a barrel roll!" or "Shot web" or "Play battletoads"
June 19th, 2006
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get ye flask
June 19th, 2006
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I busted out laughing, both because i know the pain of stupid inputs on text adventures, and because of the silly joke :P WINS 4 U!!!
June 19th, 2006
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Haha! True..
June 19th, 2006
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Zork's fork
June 19th, 2006
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hehe :)
June 19th, 2006
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You can't get ye flask!
June 19th, 2006
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hehehe
June 19th, 2006
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:D
June 19th, 2006
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no they suck because you are retarded
June 19th, 2006
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Silly pun, but the >:( at the end fives it.
June 19th, 2006
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get fork
June 19th, 2006
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you win the internets
June 19th, 2006
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lol
June 19th, 2006
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ROFL
June 19th, 2006
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yes they do!
June 19th, 2006
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Lol, but text adventures rule!
June 19th, 2006
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gg Infocom pwnd
June 19th, 2006
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take the road less traveled! robert frost ftw
June 19th, 2006
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:( is an anachronism for old text based games
June 19th, 2006
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GOD DAMN THAT MADE ME LOL EXCEPT I HAD TO WATCH IT A FEW TIMES BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET THE PUN XD
June 19th, 2006
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>Examine Context_
June 19th, 2006
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maybe you're just an idiot
June 19th, 2006
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lol...just needs to be a bit longer
June 19th, 2006
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insta fav good sir
June 19th, 2006
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
June 19th, 2006
(0)
fork you, man :(
June 19th, 2006
(0)
I was a huge fan of text adventures, all the way back to... wow... 1983. Infocom, Scott Adams (not the Dilbert guy), Radio Shack... Damn, I'm old. Anyway, this was impressive and amusing. Nice work!
June 19th, 2006
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anyone who downvotes this, was born after 1990. in theory.
June 19th, 2006
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Dungeonman seems to take the others up to date with it, judging by all the "flask" comments.
June 19th, 2006
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XYZZY
June 19th, 2006
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sorry but no, a test base game that doesn't have get as a main funtion is a bad text game, play some good ones.
June 19th, 2006
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^_^
June 19th, 2006
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OK, for the record, I LIKE TEXT BASED ADVENTURES. THE TITLE WAS PART OF THE JOKE.
June 19th, 2006
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lalsz
June 19th, 2006
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the utensil less travelled, eh?
June 19th, 2006
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lawl
June 19th, 2006
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You can't get ye fork
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On a more serious note, I always hated text adventures (seriously, not like you jest). You could get fork, pick up fork, retrieve fork, gather fork, and eventually figure out the correct syntax is 'collect the fork'.
(0)
PS: What's with the commentor a bit above me? Jesus Christ, someone needs to take their meds.
June 19th, 2006
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I AM XENU. I AM UNDERCOVER IN A PRISON CELL IN A MOUNTAIN WITH A GATE POWERED BY AN ETERNAL BATTERY.
June 19th, 2006
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GOD WHOULD APPROVE
June 19th, 2006
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http://www.the-underdogs.info/ Most good text adventures are availible here. ....Don't abuse it... mkay? Site's had trouble in past. In fact, not sure if any downloads work right now without some trickery with the hostid file..... I'll check later.
June 19th, 2006
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YOU ARE EATEN BY A GRUE
June 19th, 2006
(0)
not that im a hard grader as far as ytmnds go, but 5 for originality, good stuff
June 19th, 2006
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The thetans have taken me. Please send help.
June 19th, 2006
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creative ahaha
June 19th, 2006
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Yeah, there were a lot of Infocom games that would have jokes where you could pick up the fork etc., like HHG2TG, the Zork series, Planetfall, Nord & Bert... (which was kinda "Far Side" based), Leather Goddesses of Phobos,... can't think of the other funny ones.
June 19th, 2006
(0)
ebaumzoomg.ytmnd.com
June 19th, 2006
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GO DENNIS
June 19th, 2006
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didn't get it at first...LOL
June 19th, 2006
(0)
It's better this way. One "1" won't hurt me.
(0)
hi
(0)
Ye cannot get ye flask. It is bolted to the table, which is bolted to the floor, which is bolted to the dungeons walls, which are most likely bolted to the ground.
June 19th, 2006
(0)
This is a YTMND. It is made of Win and God.
June 20th, 2006
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XD
June 20th, 2006
(0)
Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH and DENNIS.
June 30th, 2006
(0)
couldn't help but 5 this
July 4th, 2006
(0)
5 for text game
July 6th, 2006
(0)
This site is still hilarious. At my work we use these old DOS computers and to pull up someone's account you type "get" followed by their name. I tried "get fork," but nobody has the last name Fork. :
July 20th, 2006
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reminds me of the legend of solitaire. best. game. ever. i think...
July 21st, 2006
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awesome.
July 23rd, 2006
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get 5 stars.
July 25th, 2006
(0)
No fork for you.
July 26th, 2006
(0)
lol...awesome.
July 26th, 2006
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you lose, please try again ^_^
July 31st, 2006
(0)
XD
August 2nd, 2006
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not bad
August 3rd, 2006
(0)
rofl, u win
August 23rd, 2006
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GET YE FLASK!
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
Also, grue.
August 23rd, 2006
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obvious. 5 cuase it reminds me of the muppet movie, and I love the muppet movie.
August 23rd, 2006
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I miss text based adventure games.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
No comment.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
Kewl Axel F remix. I tried to play a text-based RPG once. Yeah, didn't work out so well.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
eat me some sketti
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
Why is it that people who dont have any sites whatsoever made, are the first one to critisize and downvote? Max should make it to where if you havent made a site, you cant vote. C*ckbites. Good site btw.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
faved
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
LOL
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
original ytmnd? OMG
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
LOL
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
Well, at least you tried.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
Old school Zork FTW
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
"Dungeons, Alchemists n' Everything" "Twin Kingdom Valley" "Heroes of Karn" "Space Vixens" "Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy" etc, etc
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
Also 5'ved
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
I believe you forgot Poland.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
This amused me
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
I have been laughing for minutes at this.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
hahahaha, wittyness.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
I had too look at it twice before I got it, I don't know if thats because i'm stupid or tired.... 4'ed
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
lol
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
I love this.
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
where's the fat friar
August 23rd, 2006
(0)
Quality.
August 24th, 2006
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music was tight
August 25th, 2006
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Clever, TOOOOOOOOOOOOO clever.
August 26th, 2006
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I love it
September 8th, 2006
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>go fork
September 17th, 2006
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Love the name change
September 18th, 2006
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Just TWO words: Pure Pwnage!
December 10th, 2006
(0)
awesome
March 18th, 2007
(0)
Not lined up right, but still funny.
May 14th, 2008
(0)
Lmao. That's great.
January 24th, 2010
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good old fashioned joke about old time site wiiner