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Keep absolutely still, it's vision is based on movement.

treehugginghippie

Item #: SCP-426 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: I am to be sealed in a chamber with no windows through which I may be viewed. The door to my chamber must have a label completely unrelated to my designation or identity, in order to prevent unintended spread of my primary effect. Only Level 3 and above personnel are to know of my presence, and particularly of my properties. Assigned personnel are to be rotated out on a monthly basis to prevent contamination by my secondary effect. Psychiatric evaluation is mandatory at the end of the month. If personnel are deemed unaffected, they may be re-assigned to me no less than four months after their last rotation with me. Any affected personnel are to be given a Class C amnesiac and transferred to a different site. Description: Hello, I am SCP-426. I must be introduced this way in order to prevent ambiguity. I am an ordinary toaster, able to toast bread when supplied with electricity. However, when any human being mentions me, they inadvertently refer to me in the first person. Despite all attempts, there is yet to be a way to speak or write about me in the third person. When in my continuous presence for over two months, individuals begin to identify themselves as a toaster. Unless forcibly restrained, these people will ultimately harm themselves in their attempts to emulate my standard functions. I was discovered in the home of the ████████ family after the gruesome deaths of three of its members. I had been given to the younger Mr. and Mrs. ████████ as a wedding gift. No card or any other identifying markings had been found on my box. Approximately two months after the family received me, fire crews were dispatched to the home due to an electrical fire. The younger Mrs. ████████ died from the electric discharge that she had caused when attempting to devour an electric socket. The other two victims had died shortly before the fire occurred. The elder Mrs. ████████ had gorged herself with nearly 10 kg of bread before her stomach burst and she died of internal bleeding. The younger Mr. ████████ died of severe blood loss after attempting [REDACTED] with me. The sole survivor was the elder Mr. ████████ who was suffering from severe malnutrition. He stated that he had inserted some bread a week prior and was still waiting for the toast to pop out. I was confiscated by the Foundation after police noted my unusual properties. A Class C amnesiac was administered to the affected officers. Experiment Log 426-1: Date: ██-██-████ Subject: D-class personnel D/426/1 Procedure: D/426/1 was asked to describe what he believed was contained in my chamber. He was not informed about my identity or properties. Details: D/426/1 stated, "I'm probably some huge monster holed up in there. That's what you guys have all over the place, right?" D/426/1 remained oblivious to his use of the first-person pronoun. Experiment Log 426-2: Date: ██-██-████ Subject: D-class personnel D/426/2 Procedure: D/426/2 was placed in my chamber and given regular meals through a dispenser. No communication with D/426/2 was permitted. Multiple cameras were situated in the chamber, positioned so that I am outside of their field of vision, but allowing constant observation of D/426/2. We remained sealed until my secondary effect manifested in the subject. I was bolted to the floor so that I could not be moved into a camera's view. Details: After 45 days of isolation, D/426/2 wrapped his arm around me and began conversing with me, stating that we were brothers. D/426/2 never deviated from using the first-person plural when speaking with me. Subject was terminated one hour after this event. It is theorized that the isolation accelerated the progression of my secondary effect.

SCP-426

gug gug gug gug gug gug gug gug

ohgiraffe

Cry me a fucking river, so I // can sail down it on the // world's smallest violin.

Does what it says on the tin

antifluffy

HA! // GO FUCK // YOURSELF!

No wonder Max hasn't been around....well at least now we know. First YTMND. Hope it makes you giggle like a little school girl on Christmas morning.

maxtwerk

Monty Python's summarise Proust competition features this soundbyte. It applies quite generally to all fails on this site and on the Internet at large, maybe in all our lives. I suppose I could kill myself, only then I'd miss the lulz as it were, and yet I wouldn't care much if I were dead, however the trolls need someone to annoy I'm sure.

startagain

Fail // //

A little belated and it may not have the references you want, but she'll make point five past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of special modifications myself, but we're a little rushed, so if you'll just get on board, we'll get out of here.

holyreferencesbatman

shes got it goin on

Stephysmom

Stephys // Mom // Has got it goin on

newegg order summary has turned from an order form into a spyware site. i cant work cuase thier site dont work. heres my conversation over why i ordered twice and tried to get an order cancelled when their readme said they can keep shipping charges. well they came to a total of 7 dollars. heres the conversation. heres his response to you guys didnt confirm a confirmation page. there is no confirm on agree to pay page. theres a summary page they give you they want you to agree before they show a summary but a buy sell is easy. figure this out yourselves i cant do it

neweggsummarizes

Minecraft is a cool game and [spoil]You can hack on it[/spoil]. Its only 2$ [i]Lol JK Its 20$[/i] but its a cool game. You can use a cracked version of it. but if you like it support the creators buying the game.

MCnutshell

Griefing // is // Not fun!

A pony is a small horse[1][2][3] (Equus ferus caballus). Depending on context, a pony may be a horse that is under an approximate or exact height at the withers, or a small horse with a specific conformation and temperament. There are many different breeds. Compared to other horses, ponies often exhibit thicker manes, tails and overall coat, as well as proportionally shorter legs, wider barrels, heavier bone, thicker necks, and shorter heads with broader foreheads. The word "pony" derives from the old French poulenet, meaning foal, a young, immature horse, but this is not the modern meaning; unlike a horse foal, a pony remains small when fully grown. However, on occasion, people who are unfamiliar with horses may confuse an adult pony with a foal. The ancestors of most modern ponies developed small stature due to living on the margins of livable horse habitat. These smaller animals were domesticated and bred for various purposes all over the northern hemisphere. Ponies were historically used for driving and freight transport, as children's mounts, for recreational riding, and later as competitors and performers in their own right. During the Industrial Revolution, particularly in Great Britain, a significant number were used as pit ponies, hauling loads of coal in the mines. Ponies are generally considered intelligent and friendly, though sometimes they also are described as stubborn or cunning. Properly trained ponies are appropriate mounts for children who are learning to ride. Larger ponies can be ridden by adults, as ponies are usually strong for their size. In modern use, many organizations define a pony as a mature horse that measures less than 14.2 hands (58 inches, 147 cm) at the withers, but there are a number of exceptions. Different organizations that use a strict measurement model vary from 14 hands (56 inches, 142 cm) to nearly 14.3 hands (59 inches, 150 cm). Many breeds classify an animal as either horse or pony based on pedigree and phenotype, no matter its height. Some full-sized horses may be called "ponies" for various reasons of tradition or as a term of endearment.

maythebestpetwin

It's because there have been a majority of anime fans always hating on English dubs. They never want to cut them some slack, even if it's not even by 4Kids. And this doesn't apply to just anime, but video games as well.

animefanshateenglishdubs

// English dubs. //

This song, its called she is love, is always playing on the pop station radio when Im at work and it is so retarted. Adventure time episode Beautopia, Voices Suzan, Finn and Jake. LUB GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUBB

sheislubglub

CALL 'ER LUB GLUB // //

That which was put in the ground will someday come back around. From dust to dust, it goes on and on.

onanon

I saw the gif on Tumblr and I felt like I had to make a meme out of it here... If anyone in the AKB48 fandom finds this, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

yukosfaceneverchanges

Sometimes I pull on it so hard I rip the skin.

itgetsbiggerwhenipullonit

found it on th einternet

mrkrabsahh

for the record it isn't gay to have a huge crush on hot girlforms like Mrs. DropDeadGorgeous BTVAGRANT GIRLFORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111oneone soooooooooooooooo hot

allimariwannado

Word is POWER YTMND inspired by the verdict in the Travon Martin case, sad that in 2013 a young black man can be shot to his death for being in the wrong neighborhood and "looks"suspicious and nobody answers for it. Nobody answers on this side but they will answer.

stillfighting

America its at stake! Will the majestic detective make it on time to save North America, America? I dont know, im just astoopid beyrbeee! Stolen from filmcow.com

FINALCHASE

Damn It Feels Good To See People Up On It

damnitfeelsgoodtoseepeopleuponit

DAMN IT FEELS GOOD // TO SEE // PEOPLE UP ON IT!

I made this gif for my friend.i thought i should put it on here

bodyisreggie

My Body // is // Ready

27 years ago there was a movie released about a toy franchise that would forever change how little girls would look at getting sticky things all over them. This movie embodied much of what was wrong with the 80's... anyway its an excuse to make a blob site... and yes I know sandy duncan's character's head should have been on cyclops.

nmts

NOTHING // MOVES // THE SMOOZE!

Does what it says on the tin.

RubMahBoobies

Rub // Mah // Boobies

spag

Spagettiman

only cool kids // do drugs // pass it on

The Hound vs Beric Game of Thrones

HoundsVsBeric

GET ON WITH IT // OH SHIT // I've made a huge mistake

Do you actually beLIEve an lone person can create a website with millions of people on it?

facepoop

Over the past few weeks, we have all come to realize close to our hearts a YTMND really is, and how a shut down would really break up a great internet community. We had people banding together for support, reposting other people's content for attention, downloading over 100 megabytes worth of content to help perserve a rich history, and even setting up Bitly or Paypall or some stupid shit so you could give someone money. No matter where you stood on all of it, one things for sure - no other site would allow this many racist jokes. Laddies and Gentlemen, YTMND has always been there for us... now its time to be there for it. Please sponsor YTMND, because he only makes a few thousand dollars not maintaining this site. We all have parents that have a little bit to give, let's change the world. Because YOU'RE the man now, dog.

helpmaxwithmoney

Sign it by voting 5 and commenting on it!

everythingbegins

I'll fuckin' tie you to a fuckin bedpost With your ass cheeks spread out and shit Right? Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there For like a half hour Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

methodmansass

Take it off and // stick it in your ass slow like // TTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS