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Miss Bingley was not so entirely satisfied with this reply as to continue the subject.<br /><br /> Elizabeth joined them again only to say that her sister was worse, and that she could not leave her. Bingley urged Mr. Jones's being sent for immediately; while his sisters, convinced that no country advice could be of any service, recommended an express to town for one of the most eminent physicians. This she would not hear of; but she was not so unwilling to comply with their brother's proposal; and it was settled that Mr. Jones should be sent for early in the morning, if Miss Bennet were not decidedly better. Bingley was quite uncomfortable; his sisters declared that they were miserable. They solaced their wretchedness, however, by duets after supper, while he could find no better relief to his feelings than by giving his housekeeper directions that every possible attention might be paid to the sick lady and her sister.

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Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley both cried out against the injustice of her implied doubt, and were both protesting that they knew many women who answered this description, when Mr. Hurst called them to order, with bitter complaints of their inattention to what was going forward. As all conversation was thereby at an end, Elizabeth soon afterwards left the room.<br /><br /> "Eliza Bennet," said Miss Bingley, when the door was closed on her, "is one of those young ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex by undervaluing their own; and with many men, I dare say, it succeeds. But, in my opinion, it is a paltry device, a very mean art."<br /><br /> "Undoubtedly," replied Darcy, to whom this remark was chiefly addressed, "there is meanness in all the arts which ladies sometimes condescend to employ for captivation. Whatever bears affinity to cunning is despicable."

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"Your list of the common extent of accomplishments," said Darcy, "has too much truth. The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse or covering a screen. But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished."<br /><br /> "Nor I, I am sure," said Miss Bingley. "Then," observed Elizabeth, "you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman."<br /><br /> "Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it."<br /><br /> "Oh! certainly," cried his faithful assistant, "no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved."<br /><br /> "All this she must possess," added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading."<br /><br /> "I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any."<br /><br /> "Are you so severe upon your own sex as to doubt the possibility of all this?"<br /><br /> "I never saw such a woman. I never saw such capacity, and taste, and application, and elegance, as you describe united."

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"But I would really advise you to make your purchase in that neighbourhood, and take Pemberley for a kind of model. There is not a finer county in England than Derbyshire."<br /><br /> "With all my heart; I will buy Pemberley itself if Darcy will sell it."<br /><br /> "I am talking of possibilities, Charles."<br /><br /> "Upon my word, Caroline, I should think it more possible to get Pemberley by purchase than by imitation."<br /><br /> Elizabeth was so much caught by what passed as to leave her very little attention for her book; and soon laying it wholly aside, she drew near the card-table, and stationed herself between Mr. Bingley and his eldest sister, to observe the game.<br /><br /> "Is Miss Darcy much grown since the spring?" said Miss Bingley; "will she be as tall as I am?"<br /><br /> "I think she will. She is now about Miss Elizabeth Bennet's height, or rather taller."<br /><br /> "How I long to see her again! I never met with anybody who delighted me so much. Such a countenance, such manners! and so extremely accomplished for her age! Her performance on the pianoforte is exquisite."<br /><br /> "It is amazing to me," said Bingley, "how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are."<br /><br /> "All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?"<br /><br /> "Yes, all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover screens, and net purses. I scarcely know any one who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished."

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Chapter 8<br /><br />At five o'clock the two ladies retired to dress, and at half-past six Elizabeth was summoned to dinner. To the civil enquiries which then poured in, and amongst which she had the pleasure of distinguishing the much superior solicitude of Mr. Bingley's, she could not make a very favourable answer. Jane was by no means better. The sisters, on hearing this, repeated three or four times how much they were grieved, how shocking it was to have a bad cold, and how excessively they disliked being ill themselves; and then thought no more of the matter; and their indifference towards Jane when not immediately before them, restored Elizabeth to the enjoyment of all her original dislike.<br /><br /> Their brother, indeed, was the only one of the party whom she could regard with any complacency. His anxiety for Jane was evident, and his attentions to herself most pleasing, and they prevented her feeling herself so much an intruder as she believed she was considered by the others. She had very little notice from any but him. Miss Bingley was engrossed by Mr. Darcy, her sister scarcely less so; and as for Mr. Hurst, by whom Elizabeth sat, he was an indolent man, who lived only to eat, drink, and play at cards; who, when he found her prefer a plain dish to a ragout, had nothing to say to her.<br /><br /> When dinner was over she returned directly to Jane, and Miss Bingley began abusing her as soon as she was out of the room. Her manners were pronounced to be very bad indeed, a mixture of pride and impertinence; she had no conversation, no style, no taste, no beauty. Mrs. Hurst thought the same, and added --<br /><br /> "She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild."

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When breakfast was over they were joined by the sisters; and Elizabeth began to like them herself, when she saw how much affection and solicitude they shewed for Jane. The apothecary came, and having examined his patient, said, as might be supposed, that she had caught a violent cold, and that they must endeavour to get the better of it; advised her to return to bed, and promised her some draughts. The advice was followed readily, for the feverish symptoms increased, and her head ached acutely. Elizabeth did not quit her room for a moment, nor were the other ladies often absent: the gentlemen being out, they had, in fact, nothing to do elsewhere.<br /><br /> When the clock struck three Elizabeth felt that she must go, and very unwillingly said so. Miss Bingley offered her the carriage, and she only wanted a little pressing to accept it, when Jane testified such concern in parting with her, that Miss Bingley was obliged to convert the offer of the chaise into an invitation to remain at Netherfield for the present. Elizabeth most thankfully consented, and a servant was dispatched to Longbourn to acquaint the family with her stay and bring back a supply of clothes.

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"Well, my dear," said Mr. Bennet, when Elizabeth had read the note aloud, "if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness -- if she should die, it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders."<br /><br /> "Oh! I am not at all afraid of her dying. People do not die of little trifling colds. She will be taken good care of. As long as she stays there, it is all very well. I would go and see her if I could have the carriage."<br /><br /> Elizabeth, feeling really anxious, was determined to go to her, though the carriage was not to be had; and as she was no horsewoman, walking was her only alternative. She declared her resolution.<br /><br /> "How can you be so silly," cried her mother, "as to think of such a thing, in all this dirt! You will not be fit to be seen when you get there."<br /><br /> "I shall be very fit to see Jane -- which is all I want."<br /><br /> "Is this a hint to me, Lizzy," said her father, "to send for the horses?"<br /><br /> "No, indeed. I do not wish to avoid the walk. The distance is nothing when one has a motive; only three miles. I shall be back by dinner."<br /><br /> "I admire the activity of your benevolence," observed Mary, "but every impulse of feeling should be guided by reason; and, in my opinion, exertion should always be in proportion to what is required."<br /><br /> "We will go as far as Meryton with you," said Catherine and Lydia. Elizabeth accepted their company, and the three young ladies set off together.<br /><br /> "If we make haste," said Lydia, as they walked along, "perhaps we may see something of Captain Carter before he goes."

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Chapter 7<br /><br /> Mr. Bennet's property consisted almost entirely in an estate of two thousand a year, which, unfortunately for his daughters, was entailed, in default of heirs-male, on a distant relation; and their mother's fortune, though ample for her situation in life, could but ill supply the deficiency of his. Her father had been an attorney in Meryton, and had left her four thousand pounds.<br /><br /> She had a sister married to a Mr. Phillips, who had been a clerk to their father, and succeeded him in the business, and a brother settled in London in a respectable line of trade.<br /><br /> The village of Longbourn was only one mile from Meryton; a most convenient distance for the young ladies, who were usually tempted thither three or four times a week, to pay their duty to their aunt and to a milliner's shop just over the way. The two youngest of the family, Catherine and Lydia, were particularly frequent in these attentions; their minds were more vacant than their sisters', and when nothing better offered, a walk to Meryton was necessary to amuse their morning hours and furnish conversation for the evening; and however bare of news the country in general might be, they always contrived to learn some from their aunt. At present, indeed, they were well supplied both with news and happiness by the recent arrival of a militia regiment in the neighbourhood; it was to remain the whole winter, and Meryton was the headquarters.<br /><br /> Their visits to Mrs. Philips were now productive of the most interesting intelligence. Every day added something to their knowledge of the officers' names and connections. Their lodgings were not long a secret, and at length they began to know the officers themselves. Mr. Philips visited them all, and this opened to his nieces a source of felicity unknown before.

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Elizabeth looked archly, and turned away. Her resistance had not injured her with the gentleman, and he was thinking of her with some complacency, when thus accosted by Miss Bingley --<br /><br /> "I can guess the subject of your reverie."<br /><br /> "I should imagine not."<br /><br /> "You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner -- in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet the noise -- the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all these people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!"<br /><br /> "Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow."<br /><br /> Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on his face, and desired he would tell her what lady had the credit of inspiring such reflections. Mr. Darcy replied with great intrepidity --<br /><br /> "Miss Elizabeth Bennet."<br /><br /> "Miss Elizabeth Bennet!" repeated Miss Bingley. "I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite? -- and pray, when am I to wish you joy?"<br /><br /> "That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy."<br /><br /> "Nay, if you are so serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed; and, of course, she will be always at Pemberley with you."<br /><br /> He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner; and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long.

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Mr. Darcy bowed.<br /><br /> "I had once some thoughts of fixing in town myself -- for I am fond of superior society; but I did not feel quite certain that the air of London would agree with Lady Lucas."<br /><br /> He paused in hopes of an answer; but his companion was not disposed to make any; and Elizabeth at that instant moving towards them, he was struck with the notion of doing a very gallant thing, and called out to her --<br /><br /> "My dear Miss Eliza, why are not you dancing? -- Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when so much beauty is before you." And, taking her hand, he would have given it to Mr. Darcy, who, though extremely surprised, was not unwilling to receive it, when she instantly drew back, and said with some discomposure to Sir William --<br /><br /> "Indeed, sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner."<br /><br /> Mr. Darcy, with grave propriety, requested to be allowed the honour of her hand, but in vain. Elizabeth was determined; nor did Sir William at all shake her purpose by his attempt at persuasion.<br /><br /> "You excel so much in the dance, Miss Eliza, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half-hour."<br /><br /> "Mr. Darcy is all politeness," said Elizabeth, smiling.<br /><br /> "He is indeed; but considering the inducement, my dear Miss Eliza, we cannot wonder at his complaisance -- for who would object to such a partner?"

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On his approaching them soon afterwards, though without seeming to have any intention of speaking, Miss Lucas defied her friend to mention such a subject to him; which immediately provoking Elizabeth to do it, she turned to him and said --<br /><br /> "Did not you think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teazing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton?"<br /><br /> "With great energy; but it is a subject which always makes a lady energetic."<br /><br /> "You are severe on us."<br /><br /> "It will be her turn soon to be teazed," said Miss Lucas. "I am going to open the instrument, Eliza, and you know what follows."<br /><br /> "You are a very strange creature by way of a friend! -- always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody! If my vanity had taken a musical turn, you would have been invaluable; but as it is, I would really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers." On Miss Lucas's persevering, however, she added, "Very well; if it must be so, it must." And gravely glancing at Mr. Darcy, "There is a fine old saying, which everybody here is of course familiar with -- 'Keep your breath to cool your porridge' -- and I shall keep mine to swell my song."<br /><br /> Her performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. After a song or two, and before she could reply to the entreaties of several that she would sing again, she was eagerly succeeded at the instrument by her sister Mary, who having, in consequence of being the only plain one in the family, worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments, was always impatient for display.

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[b]tips hat*[/b] [i]"A lady should always go first."[/i]

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Chapter 6<br /><br />THE ladies of Longbourn soon waited on those of Netherfield. <br />The visit was returned in due form. Miss Bennet's<br />pleasing manners grew on the good will of Mrs. Hurst and<br />Miss Bingley; and though the mother was found to be intolerable <br />and the younger sisters not worth speaking to, a wish of<br />being better acquainted with them, was expressed towards the<br />two eldest. By Jane this attention was received with the<br />greatest pleasure; but Elizabeth still saw superciliousness in<br />their treatment of every body, hardly excepting even her sister,<br />and could not like them; though their kindness to Jane, such<br />as it was, had a value as arising in all probability from the<br />influence of their brother's admiration. It was generally<br />evident whenever they met, that he did admire her; and to<br />her it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which she had begun to entertain for him from the<br />first, and was in a way to be very much in love; but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by<br />the world in general, since Jane united with great strength of<br />feeling, a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of<br />manner, which would guard her from the suspicions of the<br />impertinent.

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Chapter 5<br /><br />Within a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with<br />whom the Bennets were particularly intimate. Sir William<br />Lucas had been formerly in trade in Meryton, where he had<br />made a tolerable fortune and risen to the honour of knighthood <br />by an address to the King, during his mayoralty. The<br />distinction had perhaps been felt too strongly. It had given<br />him a disgust to his business and to his residence in a small<br />market town; and quitting them both, he had removed with<br />his family to a house about a mile from Meryton, denominated<br />from that period Lucas Lodge, where he could think with<br />pleasure of his own importance, and unshackled by business,<br />occupy himselfsolely in being civil to all the world. For though<br />elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious; on the<br />contrary, he was all attention to every body. By nature inoffensive, friendly and obliging, his presentation at St<br />James's had made him courteous.<br />Lady Lucas was a very good kind of woman, not too clever<br />to be a valuable neighbour to Mrs. Bennet. -- They had several<br />children. The eldest of them, a sensible, intelligent young<br />woman, about twenty-seven, was Elizabeth's intimate friend.<br />That the Miss Lucases and the Miss Bennets should meet<br />to talk over a ball was absolutely necessary; and the morning after the assembly brought the former to Longbourn to<br />hear and to communicate.<br />" You began the evening well, Charlotte," said Mrs. Bennet<br />with civil self-command to Miss Lucas. "You were Mr. <br />Bingley's first choice."

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They were in fact very fine ladies,<br /> not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in<br />the power of being agreeable where they chose it; but proud<br />and conceited. They were rather handsome, had been<br />educated in one of the first private seminaries in town, had a<br />fortune of twenty thousand pounds, were in the habit of<br />spending more than they ought, and of associating with people<br /> of rank; and were therefore in every respect entitled to think<br />well of themselves, and meanly of others. They were of a<br /> respectable family in the north of England; a circumstance<br />more deeply impressed on their memories than that their<br />brother's fortune and their own had been acquired by trade,<br />Mr. Bingley inherited property to the amount of nearly an<br />hundred thousand pounds from his father, who had intended<br />to purchase an estate, but did not live to do it. -- Mr. Bingley<br />intended it likewise, and sometimes made choice of his<br />county; but as he was now provided with a good house and<br />the liberty of a manor, it was doubtful to many of those who<br />best knew the easiness of his temper, whether he might not<br />spend the remainder of his days at Netherfield, and leave the<br />next generation to purchase.<br />His sisters were very anxious for his having an estate of his<br />own; but though he was now established only as a tenant<br />Miss Bingley was by no means unwilling to preside at his<br />table, nor was Mrs. Hurst, who had married a man of more<br />fashion than fortune, less disposed to consider his house as<br />her home when it suited her. Mr. Bingley had not been of age<br />two years, when he was tempted by an accidental recommendation <br />to look at Netherfield House. He did look at it and<br />into it for half an hour, was pleased with the situation and the<br />principal rooms, satisfied with what the owner said in its<br />praise, and took it immediately.

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r. You<br />had much better dance."<br />"I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am<br />particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly<br />as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged,<br /> and there is not another woman in the room, whom it would<br />not be a punishment to me to stand up with."<br />"I would not be so fastidious as you are," cried Bingley, "for<br />a kingdom! Upon my honour I never met with so many<br />pleasant girls in my life, as I have this evening; and there are<br />several of them you see uncommonly pretty."<br />" You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,"<br />said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.<br />"Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But<br />there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who<br />is very pretty, and I dare say, very agreeable. Do let me ask<br />my partner to introduce you."<br />"Which do you mean?" and turning round, he looked for<br />a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his<br />own and coldly said, "She is tolerable; but not handsome<br />enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give<br />consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.<br />You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles,<br />for you are wasting your time with me."<br />Mr. Bingley followed his advice. Mr. Darcy walked off;<br />and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings towards<br />him. She told the story however with great spirit among her<br />friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which<br />delighted in any thing ridiculous.<br />The evening altogether passed off pleasantly to the whole<br />family. Mrs. Bennet had seen her eldest daughter much<br />admired by the Netherfield party. Mr. Bingley had danced<br />with her twice, and she had been distinguished by his sisters.<br />Jane was as much gratified by this, as her mother could be,<br />though in a quieter way.

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Mr. Bingley was good looking and gentlmanlike; he had<br />a pleasant countenance, and easy, unaffected manners. His<br />brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, merely looked the gentleman; but<br />his friend Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by<br />his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien; and the<br />report which was in general circulation within five minutes<br />after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year. The<br />gentleman pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man, the<br />ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley,<br />and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the<br />evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide<br />of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud, to be<br />above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his<br />large estate in Derbyshire could then save him from having a<br />most forbidding, disagreeable countenance, and being unworthy <br />to be compared with his friend.<br />Mr. Bingley had soon made himself acquainted with all the<br />principal people in the room; he was lively and unreserved,<br />danced every dance, was angry that the ball closed so early,<br />and talked of giving one himself at Netherfield. Such amiable<br />qualities must speak for themselves. What a contrast between<br />him and his friend! Mr. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. <br />Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in<br />walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his<br />own party. His character was decided. He was the proudest,<br />most disagreeable man in the world, and every body hoped<br />that he would never come there again. Amongst the most<br />violent against him was Mrs. Bennet, whose dislike of his<br />general behaviour, was sharpened into particular resentment,<br />by his having slighted one of her daughters.<br />Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged, by the scarcity of<br />gentlemen, to sit down for two dances; and during part of<br />that time, Mr. Darcy had been standing near enough for her<br />to overhear a conversation between him and Mr. Bingley, who<br />came from the dance for a few minutes, to press his friend to<br />join it.<br />"Come, Darcy," said he, "I must have you dance. I hate to<br />see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manne

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An invitation to dinner was soon afterwards dispatched;<br />and already had Mrs. Bennet planned the courses that were<br />to do credit to her housekeeping, when an answer arrived<br />which deferred it all. Mr. Bingley was obliged to be in town<br />the following day, and consequently unable to accept the<br />honour of their invitation, &c. Mrs. Bennet was quite <br />disconcerted. She could not imagine what business he could<br />have in town so soon after his arrival in Hertfordshire; and<br />she began to fear that he might be always flying about from<br />one place to another, and never settled at Netherfield as he<br />ought to be. Lady Lucas quieted her fears a little by starting<br />the idea of his being gone to London only to get a large party<br />for the ball; and a report soon followed that Mr. Bingley was<br />to bring twelve ladies and seven gentlemen with him to the ball<br />assembly. The girls grieved over such a large number of ladies;<br />but were comforted the day before the ball by hearing, that<br />instead of twelve, he had brought only six with him from<br />London, his five sisters and a cousin. And when the party<br />entered the assembly room, it consisted of only five altogether;<br />Mr. Bingley, his two sisters, the husband of the oldest, and<br />another young man.

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Chapter 3<br /><br />Not all that Mrs. Bennet, however, with the assistance of<br />her five daughters, could ask on the subject was sufficient to<br />draw from her husband any satisfactory description of Mr,<br />Bingley. They attacked him in various ways; with barefaced<br />questions, ingenious suppositions, and distant surmises; but<br />he eluded the skill of them all; and they were at last obliged<br />to accept the second-hand intelligence oftheir neighbour Lady<br />Lucas. Her report was highly favourable. Sir William had<br />been delighted with him. He was quite young, wonderfully<br />handsome, extremely agreeable, and to crown the whole, he<br />meant to be at the next assembly with a large party. Nothing<br />could be more delightful! To be fond of dancing was a certain<br />step towards falling in love; and very lively hopes of Mr<br />Bingley's heart were entertained.<br />"If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at<br />Netherfield," said Mrs. Bennet to her husband, "and all the<br />others equally well married, I shall have nothing to wish for."<br />In a few days Mr. Bingley returned Mr. Bennet's visit, and<br />sat about ten minutes with him in his library. He had entertained<br />hopes of being admitted to a sight of the young ladies,<br />of whose beauty he had heard much; but he saw only the<br />father. The ladies were somewhat more fortunate, for they<br />had the advantage of ascertaining from an upper window, that<br />he wore a blue coat and rode a black horse.

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"To-morrow fortnight."<br />"Aye, so it is," cried her mother, "and Mrs. Long<br />does not come back till the day before; so, it will be<br />impossible for her to introduce him, for she will not know<br />him herself."<br />"Then, my dear, you may have the advantage of your friend,<br />and introduce Mr. Bingley to her."<br />"Impossible, Mr. Bennet, impossible, when I am not<br />acquainted with him myself; how can you be so teazing?"<br />"I honour your circumspection. A fortnight's acquaintance<br />is certainly very little. One cannot know what a man really is<br />by the end of a fortnight. But if we do not venture, somebody<br />else will; and after all, Mrs. Long and her nieces must stand<br />their chance; and therefore, as she will think it an act of kindness, <br />if you decline the office, I will take it on myself."<br />The girls stared at their father. Mrs. Bennet said only,<br />"Nonsense, nonsense!"<br />"What can be the meaning of that emphatic exclamation?"<br />cried he. "Do you consider the forms of introduction, and the<br />stress that is laid on them, as nonsense? I cannot quite agree<br />with you there. What say you, Mary? for you are a young lady<br />of deep reflection I know, and read great books, and make<br />extracts."<br />Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew<br />not how.<br />"While Mary is adjusting her ideas," he continued, "let us<br />return to Mr. Bingley."<br />"I am sick of Mr. Bingley," cried his wife.<br />"I am sorry to hear that; but why did not you tell me so<br />before? If I had known as much this morning, I certainly<br />would not have called on him. It is very unlucky; but as I<br />have actually paid the visit, we cannot escape the acquaintance<br />now."<br />The astonishment of the ladies was just what he wished;<br />that of Mrs. Bennet perhaps surpassing the rest; though<br />when the first tumult of joy was over, she began to declare<br />that it was what she had expected all the while.<br />"How good it was in you, my dear Mr. Bennet! But I<br />knew I should persuade you at last. I was sure you loved<br />our girls too well to neglect such an acquaintance. Well,<br />how pleased I am! and it is such a good joke, too, that you<br />should have gone this mo

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You should do Alex Jones vs. Crazy Telemarketer Lady

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So helping an old lady across the street will surely send you to a hot burning place?

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hay lady.

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oh thought you waz preggers. sorry lady.

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wiat nevermind you wherent responding to me, woman, lady whatever her him, he it whatever. why you bitching about up and cumeing for?

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There's this new cartoon on PBS called Daniel Tiger's neighborhood. It makes all the world of make believe characters come to life in cartoon form.<br /><br />They use all of Mr Roger's songs, characters, sayings and whatnot, but all homogenized. Like Lady Elaine is just some regular woman instead of a crazy scary psychopathic puppet and King Friday, Prince Tuesday and the owl have zero personality. The Daniel tiger puppet was always shy and coy, but this new one is all outgoing and acts like Syd the Science kid.<br /><br />They never ever mention Mr. Rogers in any way.<br /><br />I think it's a huge betrayal to him and it pisses me off.

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bat lady took a little longer

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took me 15 mins.. and i did bat lady at the same time

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Don't you know how to treat a lady?!

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I just wish that it had more naked ladies in it.