YTMND Search

 (5.00)

Back when I was a kid, I would show my friends my penis, sometimes! I still remember the very first time my friend did it to me in the basement of my parents's house. I was shocked and surprised, I didn't know [i]WHAT[/i] to do! My best friend said "BLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH" when he did it!<br />I thought to myself, "[i]CHAD!!![/i]" Chad was my best friend. We did [i]everything[/i] together! My mom said we were like two peas in a pode, when she said, "Nicky! You guys are two little crazy indians!" I was shocked and surprised, I didn't know [i]WHAT[/i] to do!<br />I thought to myself "[i]MOM!!![/i]" My Mom always was at home, and she made me lots of awesome snacks and other fun stuff like all that kind of cool stuff! One time at school my best friend Chad said, "Dear Nicky, your Mom is so cool! I wish [i]I[/i] could have a Mom that makes me all sorts of cool stuff and all that kind of crap!" I was shocked and surprised, I didn't know [i]WHAT[/i] to do! I just sat there and didn't say anything. I just tried to keep playing with my soldier doll, like when my teacher Mrs. Arbuke kept me after class and told me to take my pants off. She asked me if I thought I was supposed to take off my underwear also. I was shocked and surprised, I didn't know [i]WHAT[/i] to do, so I did it and took out my Baloo. That's what I call my [i]Chirp CHIPS[/i].<br />That night, Chad showed me his [i]Miner SHIPPER[/i]! That's what he called his [i]Chirp CHIP[/i]! We were in my parents's basement. I was shocked and surprised, I didn't know [i]WHAT[/i] to do! <br /><br />On an unrelated note, I wonder where all the letters go after they get deleted when you are typing them? I guess that's what [i]HELL[/i] is for! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha excuse my language.

 (3.00)

when i decided what to vote, i looked up and to the left and if i was pondering about what to vote, and i held myself like that for a comically long time and then i clicked the mouse when the pointer was in the middle of the stars row, so i clicked the third star. intentionally i mean, i intentionally voted 3. but the point was i made a pause and it was sorta funny. my joke was a little different than yours, and no one saw so i had to write it all out here, but still, we both made use of comedic pauses. <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />now there is two examples of comedic pause.

 (5.00)

Do you understand his platform, gr33n? Do you also know what is going on in the world? Maybe you don't live in the USA, which is going to hell with civil liberties and with it's economy. I honestly can not see any other candidate one can support for president. Obama has dragged the already ravaged debt to hell. He seems to be able to keep all his promises about growing government here and there while forgetting the ones that involved getting rid of the patriot act, reducing war, relaxing drug laws and shrinking the deficit.<br /><br />If there is one pattern with government movements - it is to make the whole damn thing expand and almost never shrink anything or reduce the abuses of power.

 (5.00)

i'm really proud of the sentence(s) i just wrote up there. they are entirely contained within the computer, as a machine. and as a machine, it generates output tailored as the perfect stimulus / medium that allows my brain to create the experience and interchange between me, you and the site and it's content. in reality, this is all in my head.

 (5.00)

And as we wind on down the road<br />Our shadows taller than our soul<br />There walks a princess we all know<br />Who wears pink silk and wants to show<br />How everything still turns to gold<br />And if you listen very hard<br />The mushrooms will come to you at last<br />When all are one and one is all<br />To be a Koopa and not to troop

 (1.00)

oh yea and on my capatlist point, a capatilist is someone who, like to capatilize letters? someone who goes out and makes a legitimate dollar. the riaa mpaa are like extensions of the federal reserve to make sure that all the money goes to them. so hence, not making money legitametaly. hence no capatlist. with the internet, the music artists, said long time ago, have all the free advertising they want. all they have to do is pay for their website. makes the riaa null and void. it shuts down news, owned by, eVERYFUCKING THING IS OWNED BY THE FEDERAL RESERVE. THIS IS FREE SPEECH. thats why they censor. riaa null and void, fucking federal reserve dollars become nulla nd void on the internet. its the last place for freedom any godamn wehere and i dont see fake tetrists anywhere doing shit. and when nobdoy knows who anybody is on the internet, then nobody is going to tell anyone shit. want your privacy invaded? do it yourselves. why they want to spy on you more and more. piracy is not a reason. artists, if they want to cry about it, can FUCKOFF, do your own advertising, hire your own cd pressers, painting artists, writers, for your cds, you want to put out it stores. hire filmers to make yoru fuckign stupid fucking commercials. pay for your websites. talk about them in your commercials. there, pircay debunked in 5 minutes. go FUCK YOURSELVES EVERYBOD.

 (1.00)

IM SO SICK OF IT ITS BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE THE INTERNET STARTED SINCE ITS ALL ABOUT FREE SPEECH. EVERYBODY KNOWS THE FEDERAL RESERVE IS A TOTAL SCAM. BUT THE INTERNET GIVES YOU A FREE ENTERPRISE, YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY FOR IT. I CAN EVEN GIVE YOU WAYS ITS ALREADY BEEN IMPLREMENTED. SO THEY;LL SAY THERE DOING IT ON MERIT, YOU KNOW, PRESEDENCE. YOU KNOW, AS IN IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE. HOW ABOUT SELLING SOMEHTING, THEM TAKING THEIR CUT, AS SOMEONE WHO SENDS YOU YOUR MONEY, BUT THEN, THEY DECIDE TO keep it! ebay, paypal, same companies. you are paid money to ship an item. but then not given it, while they steal you fucking money. they keep it, and out of it, they take their cut. that right there is total goddamntheft, and it will be IMPLEMENTED BY THE GOVERNEMT. ITS ALL SPYWARE, TRACKING SPYING, ALL THEY WANT TO DO, AND THEY WANT TO DO IT ALL THE TIME. IF YOU THINK THERE WILL BE AN INTENRET LEFT, SURE. .... AND I TURN ON MY TV TOO. IT WONT. ITLL BE GONE. THEY GOTTA USE THEIR PROPOGANDA TOOLS. NEXT IS YOUR FUCKING GODAMMN BRAINS Y OUFUCKING MORONIC TUMOR PHONE USERS. YOU CARRY IT WITH YOU, STICK IT IN YO8UR MOTHER FUCKING ARMS YOU BUNCH OF MONKEY MOTHER FUCKERS, AND BY THE FUCKIGN WAY, YO8U HAVE NO RIGHTS, SO NO GUNS. ...... UM IT WONT MATTER IF THE INTERNET IS CENSORED, BECAUSE IT WILL BE GONE. SO GOOD DAY DUMB FUCKS. THIS VIDEO SUCKS

 (1.00)

i fucking could care less fuckwits who dont bother to read and say you diddnt spell nigggeer or yousaid nigger are the same ones who cry about racisisisism and want the intenrent censored for their own selfish means, crying its alla bout piracy. this whole matter was discussed ltos of years ago. about piracy and making money as an artist. THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT IS, THEY WANT TO MAKE MONEY. I DONT MAKE MONEY ON MY WEBSITE. ANY MAKING MONEY ON THE INRENET IS A SCAM. SO THEY WANT TO SCAM PERIOD. SUCH AS THIS, BUT IT HAS A PURPOSE, IN A TOTALLY STUPID WAY. BUT THERE ARE LEGIT WAYS, JUST NOONE THINKS OF IT, AND THE RIAA COULD, AND THIS IS.. wished there was a quick way to uncapslock, WHATEVER, THE RIAA COULD GIVE A FUCKLESS ABOUT YOU. i mean the artists are making 50 cents per 15 dollar album you buy off of them. SO ONCE AGAIN IM GOING TO SO TOTALLY AGREE ON CENSORING THE INTERNET. THINGS ARE THE SAME. THEY CAHNGED, SO THEY MUST BE PUT BACK. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. the riaa's gotta make there 14.50 per album they where making back in 93 before the intneret and all of this warezing that noone would ever buy idiots albums for in the first place. i mean its not the artists we care about, its the riaa, and the mpaa. BITCHES.

 (0.00)

"I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an Emperor – that’s not my business – I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another, human beings are like that.<br />We all want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and the earth is rich and can provide for everyone.<br /><br />The way of life can be free and beautiful.<br /><br />But we have lost the way." -MAX

 (0.00)

this is all wrong! Its an asian ytmnd there for instead of laaaaaa la la laa la la laaaaa, it should go more like raaaaa a ra raa ra ra raaaaa

 (0.00)

At first I was all, "Why is this NSFW?" (ò.ô)<br /><br />Then I was all, ಠ_ಠ<br /><br />Then I was all... well, there's no emoticon for it, but it's kind of a jerking-off motion.

 (2.00)

Very, very good point. And for that I will raise you a two (sorry, but I hate the mashup. Not all mashups, just this one.)<br /><br />However, one quick thing - It's not my term, it's inkdrinker's term, and once upon an internet, it was the only way to silence the VOTE 5ers. It was a rallying cry for YTMND because we had places to go and things to do and places to go and short attention spans and things to do.<br /><br />It was a simpler time. It was a happier time. This website is aging like Detroit; where there was a booming industry, there is a desolate and abandoned front page. Where there was Motown, there is now Insane Clown Posse and Kid Rock. All the comedy has been outsourced; Now they put this dumb shit on YouTube, and if you remove the sound, Twitter. This used to be the kind of website that led to CNN headlines ( http://yahooracists.ytmnd.com/ ), called out ebaumsworld on their theft ( http://fuckericbauman.ytmnd.com/ ) and even crashed their servers (search ebaums world, there's endless screenshots of their dead server page).<br /><br />A center of great thinkers and internet revolution, it ain't. But it used to be much more diverse, funny, and important (on an internet scale anyway). Thank you for the civil discourse. You may have inspired me to start making YTMNDs again.

 (1.00)

what separates my sites from your site is i have edited the gifs (though house discusses YTMND 2.1 was a straight rip, and I've done another one like that)<br /><br />You know those chip's challenge ones? I edited those entirely. Also if you had taken the time to look through all my sites instead of just the single most recent, you'd see a lot more original thought and edits. <br /><br />Here? You haven't put a single thought into the gif. Hell, you probably just dumped all the images you stole into some auto animation maker and let it do the work for you.<br /><br />Take your reddit memes and get out. Go ahead, post this entire thing for karma, that's what you do over there, right?

There is a total of 19 sites comprising all of the Up and Coming YTMNDs right now. Sup with that?

 (1.00)

Invisible to telescopic eye<br />Infinity, the star that would not die<br />All who dare to cross her course<br />Are swallowed by a fearsome force<br />Through the void, to be destroyed<br />Or is there something more?<br />Atomized at the core<br />Or through the astral door<br />To soar<br /><br />I set a course just east of Lyra<br />And northwest of Pegasus<br />Flew into the light of Deneb<br />Sailed across the Milky Way<br />On my ship, the Rocinante<br />Wheeling through the galaxies<br />Headed for the heart of Cygnus<br />Headlong into mystery<br /><br />The X-ray is her siren song<br />My ship cannot resist her long<br />Nearer to my deadly goal<br />Until the black hole<br />Gains control<br /><br />Spinning, whirling, still descending<br />Like a spiral sea unending<br />Sound and fury drowns my heart<br />Every nerve is torn apart

 (5.00)

Apple actually will release the iPhone 3K because Moon Man exhumed Steve Jobs' corpse and made a suit out of it his remains, and he is going into Apple corporate HQ tomorrow. It will go a little something like this:<br /><br />"Hey guys, Steve Jobs here, I didn't actually die and I am feeling much better now thank you. Just ignore the crescent-shaped protrusion from the top of my head because I am very sensitive about it and still have firing capability. Now I am going to change that crappy iPhone 4S to make it something much better and also to install a proximity sensor that shoots out lasers whenever black people are nearby. There that's done, enjoy the iPhone 3K. Now I am going to steal your microwave popcorn from the break room and replace it with heat-activated anthrax spores, and I will also seed the frozen pizzas with meatball-shaped alien eggs that will hatch after being microwaved and quickly grow into rampaging aliens. It will be just like in that episode of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles except that even more black people will die. ol ol ol. Oh excuse me ma'am, could you please hold that elevator so that I can rape you and stuff your corpse into the janitor's mop bucket, after which I will melt your body down with caustic floor cleaner and then mop your gooey remains all over the linoleum floor because that is what I call personnel redistribution kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk"<br /><br />Or something to that effect.

 (0.00)

1. They can. There is a misconception here because YTMND lists the length of mp3 files incorrectly. Now, for shorter sound files I normally use wav's just because, but for a site of this length an mp3 should have no issues. Use audacity and zoom in like a mother fucker to get it exactly the length you want.<br />See:<br />chipschallenge.ytmnd.com<br /><br />2. Animated GIFs don't support partial transparencies. What you most likely saw was your editor doing anti-aliasing, which GIFs don't like on their transparencies, hence white border. Remember that gifs are palette based, so they should have all one color for the transparency. This site has a good explanation for what I just said and also answers number 2 from your next set of questions:<br />http://www.instantfundas.com/2009/07/4-free-tools-to-create<br />-animated-png.html<br />Also see:<br />connect.ytmnd.com<br /><br />1. Yes and no. A quick conversion you can do for the wav you've got is make it mono, which will half the file size without much noticeable difference. You can also reduce the sample rate from 44100, which will reduce the size again (but can cause a difference in the way it sounds.) Converting to 22050 and making mono got your wav down to 1.26MB (I used audacity.) Sound files aren't compressible usually, without changing the format.<br /><br />2. You have to make the PNG frames in a separate editor, but there are several tools available. See this from a previous question.<br />http://www.instantfundas.com/2009/07/4-free-tools-to-create-<br />animated-png.html<br /><br />3. Yes he does, but he is reconsidering after an incident during the filming of The Expendables.<br />http://www.worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=18299<br /><br />on a side note, i noticed your .wav is 29.987 sec long and your gif is 29.84 sec long

 (0.00)

Happy? <br /><br />Now that you've churned out 2500 sites containing the same crappy punchline and have helped chase away all the good site makers, you and all your sites can finally sit on the up and coming for a week. <br /><br />You won.<br /><br />You can sit back in your creaky, soiled, crumb filled, weight compressed chair as you stretch and flex your leg muscles out with all your might as you blast a big hot load all over your hairy pot belly. You can then let it dry and crust over in your cavernous belly button as you pass out from the physical exertion with a content smirk on your face thinking the community has finally warmed up to you; as if to think "OMG, they finally get me!!!"<br /><br />As you do all that, I'll advise that you don't mistake the result into thinking that your sites are appreciated all of a sudden. Instead know that: You, your aspergers, your awful sites and the after school crowd who upvote them merely won out as a result of attrition that is clearly evident by the traffic on the site these days.<br /><br />There is no one left. So enjoy the front page, jackass. No one is watching.

 (0.00)

Happy? <br /><br />Now that you've churned out 2500 sites containing the same crappy punchline and have helped chase away all the good site makers, you and all your sites can finally sit on the up and coming for a week. <br /><br />You won.<br /><br />You can sit back in your creaky, soiled, crumb filled, weight compressed chair as you stretch and flex your leg muscles out with all your might as you blast a big hot load all over your hairy pot belly. You can then let it dry and crust over in your cavernous belly button as you pass out from the physical exertion with a content smirk on your face thinking the community has finally warmed up to you; as if to think "OMG, they finally get me!!!"<br /><br />As you do all that, I'll advise that you don't mistake the result into thinking that your sites are appreciated all of a sudden. Instead know that: You, your aspergers, your awful sites and the after school crowd who upvote them merely won out as a result of attrition that is clearly evident by the traffic on the site these days.<br /><br />There is no one left. So enjoy the front page, jackass. No one is watching.

 (0.00)

I uploaded this to the [i]ytmnd[/i] because all of the sites I saw felt like they took very little effort/time nowadays. I juggled the idea of having Guile doing a What is love head paste in there but then just decided "Fuck It"

 (1.00)

Happy? <br /><br />Now that you've churned out 2500 sites containing the same crappy punchline and have helped chase away all the good site makers, you and all your sites can finally sit on the up and coming for a week. <br /><br />You won.<br /><br />You can sit back in your creaky, soiled, crumb filled, weight compressed chair as you stretch and flex your leg muscles out with all your might as you blast a big hot load all over your hairy pot belly. You can then let it dry and crust over in your cavernous belly button as you pass out from the physical exertion with a content smirk on your face thinking the community has finally warmed up to you; as if to think "OMG, they finally get me!!!"<br /><br />As you do all that, I'll advise that you don't mistake the result into thinking that your sites are appreciated all of a sudden. Instead know that: You, your aspergers, your awful sites and the after school crowd who upvote them merely won out as a result of attrition that is clearly evident by the traffic on the site these days.<br /><br />There is no one left. So enjoy the front page, jackass. No one is watching.

 (4.00)

Fighting Ragna in Arcade mode with Jin is the most hellish experience I have ever encountered. "Oh, you didn't block my first attack? Well, there goes a third of your health." "Hey, remember that awesome combo you did on me? Well guess what, it means nothing, because I just did a fuckton of damage to you and recovered all the damage you did." "Oh, you actually did a hit that should otherwise stagger me? Too goddamn motherfucking bad, I'm still taking away a third of your health. And I'll end the battle in less than twenty seconds. Because I'm Ragna the Cuntedge."

 (5.00)

INT. CROCODILE ALLIGATOR (WAYNE MANOR)- NIGHT<br /><br />BRUCE WAYNE sits alone at a piano with his head buried in his arms. His loud obnoxious sobbing echoes throughout the endless space of WAYNE MANOR. ALFRED is awakened out of a peaceful slumber by the sobbing, and slowly fits his old british feet into some slippers while sitting on the side of the bed. He continues to sit on the bed for another 10 minutes while staring blankly at the door. ALFRED finally lights a candle stick by the side of his bed and takes it with him as he stumbles towards the door.<br /><br />BRUCE (still sitting at the piano) hears a loud crash echo from the third floor.<br /><br />ALFRED:<br />(echoing)<br />GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!<br /><br />BRUCE:<br />(screaming back)<br />ALFRED! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!<br /><br />ALFRED:<br />(yelling)<br />MY FEET GOT TANGLED UP IN THE PLAYSTATION 2 CORDS AFTER I SNEEZED AND BLEW MY CANDLE LIGHT OUT, I TRIPPED OUT THE DOOR AND KNOCKED THE TEA CART OVER THE BLOODY BALCONY. I ALSO FELL ON MY ASS.<br /><br />BRUCE:<br />(screaming like a girl)<br />WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP ANYWAY?<br /><br />ALFRED:<br />(rubbing butter from the tea cart all over his bare ass)<br />I HEARD YOU CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH DOWN THERE AND THOUGHT I SHOULD INVESTIGATE AND MAKE SURE YOU WEREN'T HAVING ANOTHER BAT-FIT.<br /><br />BRUCE:<br />NO, I'M JUST CRYING BECAUSE SELINA KYLE WON'T CALL ME BACK.<br /><br />ALFRED:<br />YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT MASTER WAYNE. YOU'RE CRYING BECAUSE YOU FORGOT THE BLOODY PIANO COMBINATION TO THE BATCAVE AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU?<br /><br />BRUCE:<br />(pausing for a minute)<br />NO.<br /><br />ALFRED:<br />(pissed off)<br />HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOWN THERE CRYING?<br /><br />BRUCE:<br />AN HOUR. MAYBE TWO. <br /><br />ALFRED: <br />I CAN SEE THE BAT SIGNAL OUTSIDE THE WINDOW. IT'S BLINKING AND MOVING FRANTICALLY IN THE AIR.<br /><br />BRUCE:<br />I THINK THEY'RE PISSED.<br /><br />ALFRED quickly pulls his pants back up and runs down the stairs. ALFRED runs at super fuck speed down the hall towards the piano. He jumps over BRUCE who is now on his hands and knees balling his eyes out with a fist in his mouth.<br /><br />BRUCE: (crying hysterically)It won't fucking open Alfred.ALFRED punches the correct key combination on the piano, opening the grandfather clock on the wall exposing the BATCAVE. ALFRED lifts BRUCE up off of the ground and tells him to hurry the fuck up. An exhausted ALFRED walks over to the piano and has a sit down. A slow 20 m

 (5.00)

wooo! nice remix. Tell me sir, is there any other website that you post music on? The only reason I go to ytmnd anymore is to listen to you Mik3m, its all about the music now, most sites on here are just such a rehash of fads that were great back in 2006-08, but now are just tired and irrelevant. I just want to go to a website where people of like-minded music taste like you can go and share their art. anata no ongaku ga daisuke.

 (0.00)

YTMND has worked on an iPad for at least a year, and since 2.1 on iPhones too. There's a fallback HTML5 player.<br /><br />That being said, it's a shitty experience. It's too bad Apple refuses to allow sound to play without a click event, and it's too bad that Apple refuses to abide by the animation delays set in animated GIFs and instead use their own minimum of 0.25 seconds thereby ruining the integrity of any YTMND that uses animation or synchronization. There is not much love for supporting the archaic technology that makes up the foundation of YTMND.<br /><br />As for why it is still in Flash: There is no cross-browser method to ensure synchronization of animated GIFs and sound files, each browser supports different codecs (or none at all), and there is no method of getting loading status of images (and until recently sounds) on most browsers. Even what's in place is a big hack.

 (1.00)

hey, no offense meant and none taken. look forward to more sites in the future.<br /><br />as for being an artist, well not to get to bullshitty about it, but art, as much as it means anything, means absolutely nothing. it's either self-defined, or it's something observed by an art community. it's like weeds. there's no characteristic difference between what a weed is and what a plant is besides the fact that we like one and not the other. and that's art. <br />also, it is wholly dependent on what you think art is in relation to beauty, and then it still begs the <br /><br />question of what beauty is. figure out these answers as loosely or narrowly as you see fit, and poof, you're a jedi. see you had the power to be an artist all along, all you had to do was click your heel together, etc. of course, feel free to ignore the preceding diatribe if you were only saying you weren't an artist as a deflection for not trying. we all do that too.

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 (3.00)

Ah... rumination happens to all of us mike don't fret it. This is your outlet, you put it on a site, put some music with it, and bam there's your release, you have immortalized your obsession in another setting, you can take it out of your mind. I don't use condoms, and I judge books by their covers :(

 (4.00)

It's good to know that behind the cold, hard faces of kids laughing at tortured burning cats, upvoting wannabegaynigger's republican hate sites and all the other racist/homophobic 'humor' that goes on here at YTMND, there is sometimes a special place where everyone comes together and feels real pain and emotion.<br />I think we all just had a moment here, lets not rush off and forget it.

 (4.00)

make sites that you think are good. ignore everything else. simple as that. sometimes i wish there was no commenting. you guys (not just those present in this particular thread) embarrass yourselves more than i think you realize. seriously, who gives a fuck. this site is supposed to be a fun hobby, not a source of constant angst, that likely keeps you all tossing and turning at night, wondering why these recognizable yet anonymous entities on an obscure website say mean things to or about you. i mean if you love this kinda drama so much, go cheat on your girlfriend. or go get a girlfriend, then cheat on her. at least this way you might get laid, and who knows, maybe even some exercise.