I Guarantee It!
Created on: May 31st, 2006
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You're gonna like my cock in your mouth... I guarantee it.

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May 31st, 2006
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f*ck YES.
May 31st, 2006
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WHO THE f*ck CREATED THIS WHOLE MEME OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN? I WONDER...
May 31st, 2006
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It had to be done.
May 31st, 2006
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This article describes a standard scheme for representing IPA transcriptions in ASCII for use in Usenet articles and email. The following guidelines were kept in mind:
May 31st, 2006
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I have been trying to figure this sh*t out for hours ever since some f*cker posted "Be cool about fire safety." Does anyone know what the hell happened?
May 31st, 2006
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I Guarantee It!
May 31st, 2006
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Yes.
May 31st, 2006
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well my gay sh*t won't reach U*&C i'm done till june 1oth.
May 31st, 2006
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A haunting image in YTMND History.
May 31st, 2006
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never forget
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I have that pic on my fridge.
May 31st, 2006
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So, Do you get paid for being the ytmnd dj and creating the soundtracks?
May 31st, 2006
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I'm totally Brokebacked for this man's cock.
May 31st, 2006
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O_O
May 31st, 2006
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how could fyrestorm stoop this low?
May 31st, 2006
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YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THE WAY I LOOK - I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT
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LMAO
May 31st, 2006
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lol, homosexuality
May 31st, 2006
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HIS AMPLE HEAD TEEMING WITH MAN HOOCH IS SO COLOSSAL THAT GOD TRIPS OVER IT
June 1st, 2006
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I lol'd a mighty LOL
June 1st, 2006
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wow, its incredible he doesnt pass out from blood loss
June 1st, 2006
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what a dick
June 1st, 2006
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I know the song is from brokeback, but doesn anyone know the specific name?
June 1st, 2006
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-1 for 4chan stolen, but still, Zimmer gains stars for anyone.
June 3rd, 2006
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wtf?
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. WHILE I WAS PERUSING THIS STRANGE SITE, I CAME ACROSS THIS DOMAIN OF "YTMNSFW." NATURALLY, I TOOK MY PERPLEXING PENIS (PRODUCER OF PEEPEE) OUT AND SLAMMED IT INTO THE SCREEN. THIS ODD OCCURENCE CREATED THE PHOTO YOU LOOK AT NOW, WHICH IS ONLY A MILD REPRESENTATION OF THE TRUE LENGTH OF MY HUGE, HAIRY HO-SPLITTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
June 23rd, 2006
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I already like the way I look. I guaranteed it.
July 7th, 2006
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Niiicccce
July 7th, 2006
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f*ck fyrestorm WTF?????
July 7th, 2006
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I Garentee it.
July 7th, 2006
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He must have like six hearts to be able to have such an erection. So much blood.
July 7th, 2006
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What the f*ck, not this sh*t again
July 7th, 2006
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1 for replacing the top 15 with your sh*tty YTMND.
July 7th, 2006
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"stop posting crap please." Opinions are like *ssholes.
July 7th, 2006
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just replace the old top15 section with more "worthwhile ytmnds"
July 7th, 2006
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hooleeey jesus. what is that? hu-WHAT THE f*ck IS THAT?
July 7th, 2006
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Demanding that people stop posting crappy YTMNDS is like walking into a room and demanding that everybody please stop breathing. You can do it...but it's simply NOT going to happen.
July 7th, 2006
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ROFL AWESOME.
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I love you fyrestorm. DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU
July 7th, 2006
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He's so f*cking hot. You're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it... also huge cock.
July 7th, 2006
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or delete the entire frontpage, haha. either way.
July 7th, 2006
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What the hell?
July 7th, 2006
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I remember this from when YTMND went down for a whole night and Max posted on the down page "YTMND is dead. Not kidding." This is what he posted later that night. Hilarity ensued.
July 7th, 2006
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take it off, my eyes!!!
July 7th, 2006
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thank you!! f*cking top 15 is just a load of sh*t submitted right before midnight
July 7th, 2006
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Aaaaaaahhhhh. This is even crapier then the crapy YTMNDS. Fyrestorm should get Crapiest YTMND and YTMNDER Award. Revoke his DJ priviliages!
July 7th, 2006
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I like this new look. YTMND.com should just link directly to this site.
July 7th, 2006
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YTMND is better this way.
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HAI, I AM GEORGE ONIMUSHA, FOUNDER AND RULER OF SHOGUNATE-ERA JAPAN. I STUFFED YOUR MOTHER-SAN'S HONORABLY TIGHT RICE PATTY WITH MY STUPENDOUSLY STOUT MAN-KATANA WHILE SHE WROTE DELICATE HAIKU POETRY ABOUT SUSHI.
July 7th, 2006
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I was in the top15 today, too :/ ...not cool.
July 7th, 2006
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what have I done
July 7th, 2006
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A barbershop BITCH!
July 7th, 2006
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5'd for being the top 15. Plus I bought my suit at the Mens Wearhouse.
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crap
July 7th, 2006
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also, huge gigantic cock
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MY FUJI-LIKE WAKISHAZI PIERCED HER FINE SILK KIMONO AND POUNDED UPON HER INNARDS LIKE THE HOOVES OF A WARHORSE. SHE CAME SO HARD HER SCREAMS PIERCED PAPER WALLS IN EDO. I VOW UPON MY HONOR.
July 7th, 2006
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"I like this new look. YTMND.com should just link directly to this site." yes
July 7th, 2006
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ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT THE INTERNETS!!1 ALERT
July 7th, 2006
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July 7th, 2006
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5'd for hax
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, CEO AND FOUNDER OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONE DAY I WAS AT HOME, HELPING MY WIFE TO A HANDSOME HELPING OF MY HAIRY HOT DOG. AS SHE SQUIRMED BENEATH MY GENEROUS GIRTH, I NOTICED A FAMILIAR IMAGE ON THE TV - ME. AS I LEANED TOWARD THE TELEVISION, THE IMAGE OF MY DAPPER SUIT CAUSED MY LUSCIOUS LOINS TO PUMP INTO OVERDRIVE. I SMASHED INTO MY WIFE'S VAGINA LIKE TED KENNEDY OFF A PIER, AND SOON FOUND MYSELF REACHING ORGASM TO MY HANDSOME VOICE. I SHOT FORTH A GARGANTUAN GOURD OF GODLIKE GROUP
July 7th, 2006
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frontpage = ownd
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Conspiracy up in this bitch! it's a f*cking plot to kill all the ytmnders! Ebaums world is behind this. Someone set us up the bomb! IT's a trap! YTMND has ONE weakness, and it's apparently this guy! Abandon all hope! self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct self destruct
July 7th, 2006
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ytmnd is dead guys, post your memories here.
July 7th, 2006
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Men's Warehouse bought YTMND. I guarantee it!!!!!!!!!!
July 7th, 2006
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not fair to shut down ytmnd temporarily because of "crap" being posted. I was enjoying some of the latest ones
July 7th, 2006
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...we've been hAxEd!
July 7th, 2006
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http://alsodildos.ytmnd.com ZOMG HAX LOLOLZ
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GROUPINGS, SPLATTERING MY WIFE IN MORE EGG WHITE THAN A CHINESE COOK'S HANDS. I GUARANTEE IT.
July 7th, 2006
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my god...
July 7th, 2006
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I lol'd Less than three.
July 7th, 2006
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how did this just happen
July 7th, 2006
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YESTERDAY I WAS STROLLING IN THE SUPERMARKET WHEN A FLIRTATIOUSLY f*ckABLE FEMALE CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF THE BURLY BULGE IN MY BOXERS. AS SHE INTRODUCED HERSELF I ALREADY HAD HER HEAVENLY HOMOLOGOUS HIPS PINNED TO THE WALL WITH MY LIMBER LOCOMOTIVE OF LIBIDO.
July 7th, 2006
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lol
July 7th, 2006
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http://www.nurga.com/stc/bryce01.jpg reflected networks
July 7th, 2006
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This is completely unfair to everyone who put effort into making a quality YTMND for todays top15.
July 7th, 2006
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^ lol
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SHE MOANED WHILE MY SUMPTUOUS SEXY SERPENTINE SEMEN-SYRINGE VICIOUSLY VIOLATED HER VAGINA AFTER ASSAULTING AN ARRAY OF HER ORIFICES. WHEN I RETIRED FROM RAVAGING HER RAVENOUS RAVINES OF REPRODUCTION I PUMPED PINT AFTER PINT OF PALE PENIS-PUDDING DEEP INSIDE HER CAVERNOUS CUM-CRATER. SHE CAME SO HARD, THE STORE IS STILL FULL OF WET FLOOR SIGNS. I GUARANTEE IT.
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Give it back. now. i'm counting to 10. 1...... 2......... 3........... 4............. 5.............. 6............... 7................. 8.................... 9....................... Come the f*ck on!
July 7th, 2006
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Dammit, fyrestorm! YTMND is NOT your personal MySpace!
July 7th, 2006
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nothing will keep people from posting crap ytmnds, not even crappy animated gifs on the home page. NECAGONTHP is coming!!!!
July 7th, 2006
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wtf happened?
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HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I UNSHEATHED MY MUNGO MAN SPOUT FROM MY JEANS AND FLOPPED IT DOWN IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER - YOUR SENILE DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOUR TAPPED AT HER CEILING BECAUSE OF THE CLAMOR. YOUR MOM WAS BARELY ABLE TO NIBBLE AT MY PLUMP, PRODIGIOUS MEMBER BEFORE I GRABBED IT LIKE A LASSO AND SMACKED HER ACROSS THE FACE SO HARD SHE FLEW, SPINNING, ONTO THE BED BENT OVER - AWAITING
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THE ADMISSION OF MY THROBBING ACREAGE OF FLESH. SHE COULD ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS OF HALF MY SCROTAL CAMEL BEFORE SHE FAINTED. I FINISHED UP AND BESTOWED A STUNNING LIKENESS OF THE POPE ON HER BACK IN BABY SPACKLE. I USED HER TOOTH BRUSH AS TOILET PAPER AND LEFT A QUARTER ON HER ASS. SHE CALLED ME FOUR TIMES TODAY. I GUARANTEE IT.
July 7th, 2006
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*sigh* well, at least this gives me an excuse to turn off the compy and go to sleep.
July 7th, 2006
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HA HA HA HA. I totally agree, I was saying theres nothing but crap last week...
July 7th, 2006
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Don't steal content from 4chan, you f*cking f*ggot. You complain about Ebaum stealing sh*t from YTMND, but you don't say sh*t when YTMND steals from 4chan. East sh*t and die, you hypocrites.
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THE MAN FROM NANTUCKET WAS I FOR MY COCK WAS THE SIZE OF MY THIGH I FILLED UP YOUR SISTER WHO ADDRESSED ME AS MISTER VERILY GUARANTEE IT DO I.
July 7th, 2006
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GIFS! PRECIOUS GIFS! Razor Blades of eternium!
July 7th, 2006
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not even doom music could save the front page. btw this is actually kinda funny
July 7th, 2006
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oh leet hax
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AS BEFITS ANY MAN OF MY SENSATIONALLY STUPENDOUS STATURE, I HAVE HAD MY SHARE OF BRUSHES WITH THE LAW. I RECALL ONE AUSPICIOUS AUTUMN AFTERNOON I WAS LEAVING THE SCENE OF YET ANOTHER OF MY RIDICULOUSLY RAPTUROUS RAPE RUNS AT THE LOCAL CONVENT WHEN I WAS ACCOSTED BY A POSITIVELY PULSE-POUNDINGLY PRECOCIOUS POLICEWOMAN. ONE LOOK AT THE BUSTY BADGE-BRANDISHING BEAUTY HAD MY CONSUMMATELY COLLOSAL CROTCH CANNON THUMPING AGAINST MY PANT LEG FOR RELEAS
July 7th, 2006
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oh noes
July 7th, 2006
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You're gonna like my cock in your mouth... I guarantee it.
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A TWITCH OF THE WRIST, AND MY MONSTROUSLY MIGHTY, MAJESTICALLY MANED LOIN LION ROARED FORTH AND DROVE DEEP PAST THE LUSCIOUSLY LASCIVIOUS LAW-LADY'S LABIA. AS SHE SQUIRMED AND SWAYED AT THE SOUL-SPEARING SENSATION THAT IS THE SPIRITUAL SEXPERIENCE OF ZIMMER, MY SOFA-SIZED SWEATY SEXUAL SWASHBUCKLER SPOUTED A SINFULLY SUCCULENT SPRAY OF SENSATIONALLY SLOPPY, SWEET-SMELLING SPERM SAUCE. I'VE NEVER PAID A PARKING TICKET SINCE. I GUARANTEE IT.
July 7th, 2006
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wow, hitler you think youre really funny dont you? isnt it werid how you can come up with a sexual story so quickly. its like you have had tons of practice
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, PRESIDENT OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AS OF LATE MY CONCERN HAS BEEN DRAWN AWAY FROM MY SWEATSHOPS IN ASIALAND AND DIVERTED TOWARDS AFRICA. THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN DIE EVERY DAY THERE, NOT KNOWING A HOT, HOME COOKED MEAL. WASTING NO TIME I SUMMONED FORTH A PILLAR OF MY REPRODUCTIVE RESIN TO LAUNCH ME TOWARDS MY MISSION. THE INITIAL IMPACT OF MY LANDING SERVED ONLY TO EXCITE MY HAMMY HALBERD, SENDING SHOCKWAVES OF MY TESTICULAR MIGHT ECHOING THROUGH THE LAND.
July 7th, 2006
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I repent my vote of 2 and up it to 5 :)
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^^^no i just have 4chan MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN COULD DO LITTLE MORE THAN SIT IN AN AIDS RIDDLED STATE OF AWE AS MY COLOSSAL CUM CANNON FILLED THEIR DRIED RIVERBEDS AND SPOUSES WITH THE FINEST MAN-JAM. THE HUNGER AND THIRST OF AN ENTIRE CONTINENT WAS SATED WITH ONE WORLD SHATTERING MANGASAM. AND THE SALTY GOODNESS ENSURES THAT NOTHING COULD EVER SPROUT FROM THE GROUND IN AFRICA AGAIN. I GUARANTEE IT.
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND C.E.O. OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE MY MASSIVE MENTAL FACULTIES ARE ADVANCED FAR BEYOND THE SILLY AND SUPERSTITIOUS SPIRITUALITY SPOUTED SENSELESSLY IN SUNDAY SERMONS, ALL BUSINESSMEN KNOW THE ADVANTAGES OF KEEPING UP A PIOUS PUBLIC PERSONNA. IT WAS WITH THIS IN MIND THAT I RECENTLY VISITED A LOCAL CHAPEL, THOUGH AS YOU WILL SOON LEARN, THINGS TOOK A TURN FOR THE TEMPTING, IN TYPICALLY TAWDRY, TITTILATING ZIMMER FASHION.
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ALL WAS PROCEDING ACCORDING TO PLAN UNTIL MY WANDERING GAZE FELL UPON THE ROUND, ROBED RELIGIOUS RUMP OF THE CHOIR DIRECTOR, A SEDUCTIVELY SLENDER SAINT SINGING SENSUOUSLY ON STAGE. DESPITE MY DILIGENT DESIRE TO DEMONSTRATE DEVOUT DEDICATION AND DERAIL MY DIRTIER DISPOSITIONS, MY MIRACULOUSLY MIGHTY MANMEAT MESSIAH BURST FORTH WITH A FLASH OF HEAVENLY LIGHT, RISING FROM ITS TROUSERY TOMB LIKE THE RESURRECTED CHRIST. THE ANGELIC AUBURN-HAIRED ARTISTE ARRESTED HER AURAL ADMINISTRATION AND RENT HER ROBES, BEND
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MY PERENNIALLY PASSIONATE PENILE POWERHOUSE PARTED HER PUBES LIKE MOSES BEFORE THE RED SEA. AS I BAPTISED THE BODACIOUSLY BUXOM BIBLE-BANGER BY SPEWING A SALACIOUSLY SINFUL SURGE OF SACREMENTAL SEMEN INTO HER HERETICALLY HOT HOLY OF HOLIES, SHE SANG NOTES ONLY AUDIBLE TO THE HIGHEST CHOIRS OF ANGELS. THE VIRGIN MARY'S BEEN PROPOSITIONING ME IN VISIONS EVER SINCE. I GUARANTEE IT.
July 7th, 2006
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For an absolutely retarded explanation of what this YTMND represents see http://synverb.ytmnd.com/ I AM DAMNCRACKAS, MASTER OF FINDING CRAP!
July 7th, 2006
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I've read every single one of steampoweredhitler's posts
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you want more, cooke?
July 7th, 2006
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I don't know if I can handle it
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TAKE MOAR, COOKE. HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE SURREPTITIOUSLY PLUNGING MY ROSY-CHEEKED CYCLOPEAN ALLY INTO THE ANAL CAVITY OF A YOUNG MIGRANT FARM WORKER OF INDETERMINATE GENDER IN THE FRONT ROW OF A MOVIE THEATER, THE POOR YOUTH SCREAMED FOR MORE THAN THREE MINUTES STRAIGHT, FINALLY COUGHING UP A LOAD OF 100% PURE ZIMMER SAUCE AND PASSING OUT.
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THE OTHER MOVIE PATRONS, ANGRY AT THE INTERRUPTION OF THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL IN 3-D, BEGAN PELTING ME WITH DRINKS, FOOD, AND PHONE NUMBERS HASTILY WRITTEN ON NAPKINS. UNFORTUNATELY, MY OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUIT WAS RUINED IN THE PROCESS. I NONCHALANTLY PULLED THE UNCONSCIOUS YOUTH OFF MY ENORMOUS EYEBALL GOUGER AND STRIPPED NUDE. THEN, WITH A BESTIAL ROAR, I BEAT THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE TO DEATH--WITHOUT LEAVING THE FRONT ROW. ON MY WAY OUT, IN THE CUSTOM OF THE ZIMMER FAMILY, I GAVE THEM A BURI
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BURIAL AT SEMEN. I GUARANTEE IT. ----HI I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MENS WEARHOUSE. HI, YOU MAY NOT HAVE HEARD FROM ME IN A LONG TIME, BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU I WAS PREOCCUPIED WITH MATTERS OF GREAT URGENCY AND SEXUAL INTENTION. IN FACT, I HAVE BEEN DOING SOME CHARITABLE WORK OF SIGNIFICANT VALUE OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS.
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IT WAS ONLY LAST WEEK THAT, AFTER HAVING DEBATED AMONG MY BOARD OF DIRECTORS A SUITABLE PRICE FOR PAIRS OF FABULOUSLY FINE UNDERGARMENTS, THAT MY ZIMMER SENSES TOLD ME SOMETHING WAS FISHY IN THE REALMS KNOWN AS AFRICA. I IMMEDIATLY LIFTED OFF THE GROUND WITH THE FORCE PROVIDED BY MY MANLY RED-BLOODED ROBUST ROCKET ROUSER AND CHARGED INTO THE SKY. THE SHEER FORCE AND SUBLIMETY OF MY LANDING CAUSED MAJOR EARTHQUAKES, AND AS THE ENORMOUSLY ERROGENOUS EARTHLY MAN-TREMOURS ECHOED THROUGHOUT THE LAND,
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CITIZENS COULD DO NOTHING BUT WATCH AND SUFFER IN THEIR MASS OF STARVATION AND AIDS. AT THAT VERY MOMENT, I UNLEASHED AN INCREDIBLE SEMINAL FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS THAT FILLED THE MOUTHS OF EVERY CHILD AND ADULT THROUGHOUT THE CONTINENT ALSO CLEANSING THEM OF THEIR AIDS AND IMPREGNATING THEIR WEAKLY WOMEN IN AN ATTEMPT TO PRODUCE AN ARMY OF MINITURE ENTREPRENEURS THAT WILL SOON CREATE THEIR OWN FLOOD OF UNSUCCESSFUL ENTERPRISES CAUSING A MASSIVE INFLUX IN THE WORLD MARKET. SOMETHING I COULD NOT FORESE
July 7th, 2006
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Waaaaay too much 4chan for steampoweredhitler...
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THE WORLD THEN CONGRATULATED ME AS THEY WOULD NO LONGER HAVE TO DONATE THEIR THINNED OUT BABY BUTTER TO THE LAND OF AFRICA. I HENCEFORTH RECEIVED A MEDAL OF EXTREME VIRILITY THAT I KEEP IN THE HEADQUARTERS OF MENS WEARHOUSE UNDER LOCK AND KEY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONE DAY, ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I WAS HOLDING A MEETING WITH MY COMPANY'S BOARD OF DIRECTORS, EXPLAINING THE IMPORTANCE OF DEDICATION, AND QUALITY IN THE SALE OF OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUITS, WHEN I NOTICED ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD WAS, IN FACT, A STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL BLOND FEMALE, HER BEAUTY MATCHED ONLY BY HER PROFESSIONAL MANNER AND ABSOLUTELY ELEGANT SUIT.
July 7th, 2006
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sweet dreams to me
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THIS COMBINATION OF STIMULI GAVE MY MONOLITHIC CROTCH CANNON NO CHOICE BUT TO AUGMENT AND OBLITERATE MY PANTS. WITHIN MOMENTS MY MY MEMBER HAD DESOLATED THE BOARD ROOM, THE TABLE HAVING BEEN SMASHED UNDER THE SHEER GIRTH OF MY PELVIC PULVERISER, AND THE WOMAN IN QUESTION WAS IMPALED ON ITS GARGANTUAN TIP, HAVING THROWN HERSELF IN ITS APOCALYPTIC PATH OF DESTRUCTION IN AN EFFORT NOT ONLY TO SAVE THE LIVES OF HER COLLEAGUES, BUT TO EXPERIENCE FIRSTHAND THE QUASI-RELIGEOUS EXPERIENCE THAT IS ZIMMER.
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AS MY TROUSER TRUNCHEON EXPANDED, DEMOLISHING WALLS AND DISPATCHING THE INTERNS WHO ATTEMPTED TO ESCAPE WITH THEIR LIVES RATHER THAN THROW THEMSELVES AT THE MERCY OF MY THROBBING FLESH MISSLE. MOMENTS LATER MY PHALLUS HAD KNOCKED OUT MANY OF THE BUILDING'S SUPPORT BEAMS AND THE FLOORS OVERHEAD CRASHED DOWN, THE FORCE OF THEIR MOMENTUM CAUSING THE ENTIRE BUILDING ITSELF TO COLLAPSE IN A NIGHTMARISH MANNER NOT UNLIKE A FAMOUS DISASTER FROM A FEW YEARS AGO.
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I WAS SOON RISING FROM THE RUBBLE, WITH THE STUNNING BOARD MEMBER STILL ON THE TIP OF MY GOD-SHLONG CRYING ALOUD FOR MERCY, HER SUIT AS WELL AS MINE UTTERLY RUINED BY THE AFFAIR, AS WELL AS A DOZEN OTHERS STILL CLINGING TO THE SHAFT. i LET OUT A THUNDERING ROAR AND LET SPEW FORTH MY SEED WITH SUCH AWE-INSPIRING FORCE THAT THE LOAD SHATTERED THE SOUND BARRIER, VAPOURIZING MY LUSTY ASSOCIATE, CRUSHING EVERYONE IN SIGHT AND SHATTERING EVERY WINDOW IN A 5-MILE RADIUS.
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IN THE AFTERMATH, STANDING NAKED AND COVERED IN CEMENT DUST, AND SMILING CONTENTLY AT THE DEMOLISHED, SEMEN-COVERED RUINS BEFORE ME, I SPOTTED A SMALL DOG, STUMBLING IN THE DEBRIS, ITS EARS BLEEDING AND LUNGS GASPING FOR BREATH IN THE HUMID MUSK. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. WITH A LOUD THUD MY ELEPHANTINE MAN-HAMMER HAD CRUSHED THE ANIMAL LIKE A THICK, MEATY FLYSWATTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
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goodnight ytmnd.
July 7th, 2006
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Listen kids, this is why you should never over-dose on enzite. lol
July 7th, 2006
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This site needs no words. George Zimmer is the man, period.
July 7th, 2006
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DEAR YTMND, HELLO, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. JUST NOW A MENTALLY CHALLENGED MAN STOLE A SUIT FROM MY STORE AND CLAIMED IT WAS HIS. IN NO TIME, MY MASSIVE MANHOOD MISSILE TORE OUT OF MY FRESHLY TAILORED PANTS, KNOCKING HIM TO THE GROUND. THE LOOK OF FRIGHT IN HIS EYES CAUSED MY LOVE MACHINE TO TINGLE, AND WITH MY OBLITERATED PANTS LAID STREWN AROUND MY ANKLES, I CHARGED AT HIM WITH THE FEROCITY OF A FREIGHT TRAIN. THE LOOK THAT GRACED HIS TEARFUL EYES AS MY PULSATING POWER P
July 7th, 2006
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PULSATING POWER PUMP RUSHED TO MEET HIS FACE WILL CAUSE ME RUMBLIMG LAUGHTER FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. SCARED AND HELPLESS, HE TRIED TO RUN BUT IT WAS FUTILE. AS HE GOT A TASTE OF MY COLLOSAL COCK CANNON SMASHING INTO HIS CRANIUM, KNOCKING HIM ACROSS THE FLOOR, THROUGH SEVERAL DESKS, AND FINALLY CAUSING HIM TO CRASH INTO THE WALL, WHERE I STOOD OVER HIM RELEASING A DELUGE OF MANJUICE, DROWNING HIM IN MY RICH PROTEIN SHAKE. THE COPIOUS AMOUNT OF CORN SYRUP FROM MY PULSATING POWER-PACKED PUBIC FLESHMEAT FLOODED
July 7th, 2006
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FLOODED THE STORE AND SEVERAL NEARBY STREETS, INJURING HUNDREDS AS THEY TRIED TO FLEE. I GUARANTEE IT.
July 7th, 2006
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Stealing from 4chan are we, f*ckface?
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Fyrestorm, trust me, this actually IS from 4chan. It was drawn by a 4chan "artwhore" named kristal. The source is here : http://kristal.smonson.com/gallery/d/47-1/zimmer.jpg
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Go to her 4chan gallery at http://kristal.smonson.com/gallery/v/4chan/ and you will see this picture and many others that have been drawn by her after being requested by 4chan.
July 11th, 2006
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I lol'd.
July 17th, 2006
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The alliteration here rivals V...
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Hotaru, that is one of the key aspects of a true Zimmer story. Without alliteration, many stories fail.
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His cock is almost as big as mine
August 24th, 2006
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that is one big penis
October 5th, 2006
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fav'd
October 6th, 2006
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that's awesome music.