The Un-Funny Truth About Defrag (Scientology)
Created on: August 18th, 2006
The Un-Funny Truth About Defrag (Scientology)
Sorry for resubmit - had to tighten graphics. http://www.craigjensen.com/, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defrag, WinXP

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August 18th, 2006
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rofl wtf
August 18th, 2006
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i really dont care
August 18th, 2006
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Neat discovery...but who the hell really uses that clunky-ass defrag program? Use Nortons instead. :p
August 18th, 2006
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WinME, problem solved...
August 18th, 2006
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wrong!! i sue O&O
August 18th, 2006
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use
August 18th, 2006
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Jet defrag here, but frankly scientology is just scary.
August 18th, 2006
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I use the Altimit OS Ver 4.5. So this does not affect me. I don't really understand why its funny that a scientologist is associated with software. I mean if you found an African shaman or something connected to software then I might laugh. But this is just coincidental babble.
August 18th, 2006
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Then you're probably a smug bastard anyway.
August 18th, 2006
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yes, it's coincidental. that's why it's funny. anyway, 5'd for the slowly spelled "OMG".
August 18th, 2006
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Well, that's it. We're f*cked. Also, lol @ Norton as an example of non-clunky software.
August 18th, 2006
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Ahh! getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff
August 18th, 2006
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who the f*ck cares
August 18th, 2006
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ZOMG
August 18th, 2006
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everytime you P2P, you support communism!
August 18th, 2006
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holy sh*t! well, good thing I've got a mac, mwahahahaha! Join the dark side! Bill Gates has betrayed you!
August 18th, 2006
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urrrrghhh. holy f*ck. I'm never using that piece of sh*t again. Raxco Perfectdisk for me!
August 18th, 2006
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that wasn't unfunny at all
August 18th, 2006
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5 for having a mac, and don't have to defrag
August 18th, 2006
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+5 for calling him a douche real quick, -3 for not caring at all
August 18th, 2006
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ahhh i use NORTON FTW!!! also lol@douche
August 18th, 2006
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5 for douche
August 18th, 2006
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Fanboyism.
August 18th, 2006
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Our computers are doomed
August 18th, 2006
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Then you're probably a smug bastard anyway. Yes I am.
August 18th, 2006
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http://www.sysinternals.com/Utilities/PageDefrag.html
August 18th, 2006
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Thank God I'm a smug Mac-using bastard. *whew*
August 18th, 2006
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[smug]On my laptop I'd never use janky *ss M$ crap. But I never defrag since I use a Mac for browsing. [/smug]
August 18th, 2006
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no wonder its sh*t
August 18th, 2006
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Mind. Blown.
August 18th, 2006
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haha nice "douche" snuck in there. and 5 stars alone for calling mac users smug bastards.
August 18th, 2006
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lol
August 18th, 2006
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+4 for the semi-subliminal 'douche' comment
August 18th, 2006
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lol 5d for douche
August 18th, 2006
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good investigative werk...PS i use windows 98 lol
August 18th, 2006
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F*ck! Nice research. Although this...really doesnt pose as any kind of threat. Although we now know Scientology is indirectly linked to Microsoft.
August 18th, 2006
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My computer is dead to me, now. ;(
August 18th, 2006
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5 for the Mac/Linux comment at the end.
August 18th, 2006
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5 simply for the burn on mac and linux users
August 18th, 2006
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I use O&O defrag. Much better than Window's excuse for a defragmentation program.
August 18th, 2006
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Wow, and yet, I don't really care... I use Diskeeper 10 to defrag, and everything's good!
August 18th, 2006
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Mac FTW.
August 18th, 2006
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I WILL NEVER DEFRAG AGAIN
August 18th, 2006
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That explains why Windows defrag is so useless. Never used the piece of crap.
August 18th, 2006
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5'd for that last part.
August 18th, 2006
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So a minister of Scientology could have complete access of your entire computer. All it'd take is a couple more lines of code among thousands. Nice to know.
August 18th, 2006
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OMG thank you, I will never defrag again
August 18th, 2006
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I've never defragged to this day, and i still don't... x..x dunno why, but i don't really need it, y'know?
August 18th, 2006
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*stormy does his homework*
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Okay. So?
August 18th, 2006
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wtf?
August 18th, 2006
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OMG Secret Scientology defrag! Geektastic, LOL worthy discovery. I wonder if the defragger is the same in Vista?
August 18th, 2006
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+5 for the smug bastard comment, and OMG... all these years.... I feel violated.
August 18th, 2006
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gimp is not a source. But when I saw "but then you're probably a smug bastard" I 5'd for great justice.
August 18th, 2006
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contig.exe from sysinternals for the win
August 18th, 2006
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This just in, some pretty good movies starred Scientologists. I would have oned.. but that comment about linux and mac users made me chortle.
August 18th, 2006
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Or you use Norton... douche
August 18th, 2006
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lol good find
August 18th, 2006
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I'll never defrag again ! see ya in hell hard drive
August 18th, 2006
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
August 18th, 2006
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I'm not a smug bastard
August 18th, 2006
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What's the problem then?
August 18th, 2006
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I WILL NEVER DEFRAG AGAIN
August 18th, 2006
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meh, needs more teksoqp and random sh*t.
August 18th, 2006
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Beck's a scientologist. Whoopty f*cking doo.
August 18th, 2006
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They should play this up in the "I'm a Mac! I'm a PC!" ads. Macs rule. I am a smug bastard. Oh well.
August 18th, 2006
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I liked the coment at the end about mac and linux users =)
August 18th, 2006
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We're f*cked. Well not me, just you guys. I use Linux. Muhahahahhahaha.
August 18th, 2006
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@State-of-mind: I agree, just made this on a whim, didn't expect it to get noticed, lol
August 18th, 2006
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Holy sh*t 5'd
August 18th, 2006
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'douche' + 'smug bastard' comment = five.
August 18th, 2006
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5 for nedm
August 18th, 2006
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use different music. and i really couldnt care less if the man who was responsible for my defrag was a retard.
August 18th, 2006
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"I would have oned.. but that comment about linux and mac users made me chortle." ... it scares me how close this is to what I would have said (though I would not have used the word "chortle")
August 18th, 2006
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"needs more teksoqp and random sh*t." Word. teksoqp is the sh*t.
August 18th, 2006
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um, what's your point
August 18th, 2006
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You totally 5'd it at, "..mac or linux. then you're probably a smug bastard anyway"
August 18th, 2006
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lol, douche for the win.
August 18th, 2006
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5'd for creepy. -1, though, for calling me a smug bastard (which I am... PowerBook and proud)
August 18th, 2006
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But seriously....this is almost scary. The Scientologists may have the ability to look at all of the files, cookies, etc in our computer. LETS BOYCOTT...UMM....STOP TEH DEFRAG?
August 18th, 2006
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I had to watch it a second time to see the 'douche'. Funny.
August 18th, 2006
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5'd for sayin' stuff about non-Windows users.
August 18th, 2006
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5 plus another 5 for the shameless burn on mac users.
August 18th, 2006
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Was truly un-funny, until the final comment. 5'd.
August 18th, 2006
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was about to 5 this, but i use a mac, and you're a douchebag
August 18th, 2006
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my hard drive is powered by the souls of brainwashed aliens and i for one find that to be TOTALLY AWESOME
August 18th, 2006
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also: anyone who names themselves after a character from "Hackers" and uses a Mac is by definition a douchebag, having fulfilled several of the prerequisites for douchebaggery
August 18th, 2006
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I am a smug bastard...AKA smart enough not to use Windows
August 18th, 2006
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Hey Windows users, why not use a *real* filesystem, that doesn't need to defrag? Oh, wait, that's right, you don't have one. Ha ha!
August 18th, 2006
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the balogna is in the nest, the pastrami is recyclable.
August 18th, 2006
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holy sh*t mind = blown
August 18th, 2006
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5ed for the very last line. I did a spit take.
August 18th, 2006
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damnit
August 18th, 2006
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I honestly don't care.
August 18th, 2006
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O__O
August 18th, 2006
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5'd just for the part at the end about mac and linux.(no hate on penguin)
August 18th, 2006
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hmm this does not deserve U&C
August 18th, 2006
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5ft fived for truth
August 19th, 2006
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i dont care
August 19th, 2006
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I've been fighting back for years by not defragging.
August 19th, 2006
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I never defrag anyway....but now I'll be extra careful
August 19th, 2006
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"Than you're probably a smug bastard anyway." Yes, I am. MACFTWWTFWINDOWSSUCKSLOLOMGBBQ!
August 19th, 2006
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I just don't give a f*ck.
August 19th, 2006
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I am a smug mac using bastard, and I approve of this message
August 19th, 2006
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ohhh nooo!
August 19th, 2006
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-1 for resubbing, i hate voting on stuff twice.
August 19th, 2006
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I'm sick of this Scientology crap. yes we know we hate the scientologists let's stop preaching about it.
August 19th, 2006
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So? It works well enough. I'm all for hating scientologists for being stupid, but I'm not going to hate a product for being made by a scientologist. Especially when it works pretty darn well.
August 19th, 2006
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OMGWTFBBQ
August 19th, 2006
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you see i overheard some nerds at best buy talking about defragging your computer. Apparently its a program that uses little rectangles to make your computer more relaxed. I did it and my win 98 is runnning good as new. thanks nerds at best buy! (btw my friends are the staff at best buy.)
August 19th, 2006
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Oh shi...
August 19th, 2006
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i'll care if you can prove to me that the diskeeper programmers are crazy. that guy has nothing to do with my boot partition's performance
August 19th, 2006
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Good thing I use Raxco's PerfectDisk 7
August 19th, 2006
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5'd simply because it's funny to me that 100% of the Mac and Linux users that have commented on this have either admitted or said something that shows them to be smug bastards.
August 19th, 2006
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I thought it was odd that one day all the fragments lined up and then spelled out "Donate to Xenu". Either that or the fact that I was completely trippin balls.
August 19th, 2006
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DeFrag is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD
August 19th, 2006
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i would've 5'd it just for having "gimp" in the image origin, but the DOUCHE part made me lol.
August 19th, 2006
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OMG I DON'T CARE.
August 19th, 2006
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OMFG
August 19th, 2006
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don't care
August 19th, 2006
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Scientology is bad. Scientologists are not.
August 19th, 2006
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lol, I LOVE THE SMELL OF MY OWN FARTS!!!!!1
August 19th, 2006
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I chuckle'd
August 19th, 2006
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lol, ext3
August 19th, 2006
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Anyway, it's old news. The German Goverment had Microsoft strip out Defrag from all its deployments starting back in 2000. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/11/03/ms_helps_you_hack_scientology/
August 19th, 2006
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good detective
August 19th, 2006
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well that was unexptected O_o
August 19th, 2006
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oh god
August 19th, 2006
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Gratuitous insults F.T.W.!
August 19th, 2006
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+5 for making fun of scienctology. -3 for making fun of Mac / Linux users.
August 19th, 2006
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I will never defrag again....wait
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lame
August 19th, 2006
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nooooo i'm never defragging again!
August 19th, 2006
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o cool scientology fad
August 19th, 2006
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you are mistaken buddy. microsoft stole the defrag software from norton. an early release of dos acually left the norton name in the eula. but they later removed it. and he never got paid for it.
August 19th, 2006
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AHH! THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE COMPUTERS! AHH!!!!
August 19th, 2006
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Well, I guess I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
August 19th, 2006
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I can't believe Mac users said they don't have to defrag... ALL HARD DRIVES FRAGMENT DATA!!!!!!! OS X Defragmentation does not defrag everything, as it would take too much resources. Just use another disk defragmenter.
August 19th, 2006
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Hooray for Linux - 64lappy / # uname -a Linux 64lappy 2.6.18-rc4 #1 SMP Wed Aug 16 12:38:24 EDT 2006 x86_64 AMD Athlon(tm) 64 Processor 3200+ AuthenticAMD GNU/Linux
August 19th, 2006
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or you could, you know, pirate it
August 19th, 2006
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5'd for Douche
August 19th, 2006
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I guess I'm a smug bastard...still funny though.
August 19th, 2006
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I didn't care too much until "Then you're probably a smug bastard anyway." But good research.
August 19th, 2006
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thanks for ruining my computer for me. I'll have to put it down now =(
August 19th, 2006
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OH DEAR GAWD :((
August 19th, 2006
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That's really f*cking scary. I knew the Win9x program was better but I never knew why. Wow, Microsoft actually DOES do some sh*t better than 3rd party groups.
August 19th, 2006
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I use Diskeeper 10. Written by the white Christians of America!!!111one. :D http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diskeeper
August 19th, 2006
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Linux. But I just got this in my RSS before I saw this site: http://geekblog.oneandoneis2.org/index.php/2006/08/17/why_doesn_t_linux_need_defragmenting
August 19th, 2006
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/me quickly uninstalls Diskeeper...
August 19th, 2006
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I use software developed by freeze dried helper monkeys.
August 19th, 2006
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"smug bastard anways" QFT
August 19th, 2006
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lol douche
August 19th, 2006
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;_;
August 19th, 2006
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How'd you know I'm a smug Mac user? Wait. don't answer that.
August 21st, 2006
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Fight the war on Scientology, use Diskeeper.
August 23rd, 2006
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AHHH !
August 25th, 2006
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lmao. "douche". thats awsome.
August 25th, 2006
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I'm a smug MAC bastard? You bet I am!!!
September 16th, 2006
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I use a crack of PerfectDisk.
September 19th, 2006
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NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
September 22nd, 2006
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smug bastard made it for me, i dont really care about defraging, but lets stick it to the f*ckers with imacs
October 17th, 2006
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Well, no wonder the default defragging software sucks.
December 19th, 2006
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Im damned glad i warezed my version, an its NOT the winXP default.
January 15th, 2007
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thank god i have a mac
March 12th, 2007
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Fav'd, once and for all.