tales of brave ulysses

Hello my orange-fingered amigos,

Welcome to the first YTMND "Cheetos Boredom Busters". This six part series will occur once per week over the next month and a half and cover a variety of topics people tend to take too seriously.

As I sit here typing on my laptop in a bathtub full of Cheetos drinking Mountain Dew out of a champagne flute, I am reminded why I run this website. I am constantly stressed out about getting work done, or at least giving the appearance of getting work done. Those of you that are gainfully employed probably know what I mean.


Even things that aren't normally considered work can certainly feel like it. For instance I went to ROFLcon last week where I spent the entire day drinking as it's the only coping mechanism I've found to help me deal with people from the internet. I decided that I would attend the after-party later that evening and after laying down my credit card and having a couple of drinks, I tried to sign out. It turns out there was a "$50 minimum" on credit card tabs and I had only done $14 of damage (and around 9 hours of drinking previously). Just my luck beers were only $4. I pulled up a stool and sat down for a long night of hard work.

Despite the hours I had to spend struggling to remain in a vertical position and the subsequent effort it took washing dishes to pay off the tab when my credit card was declined, I maintained a laid-back attitude throughout. I know that with a terrible economy and recession looming over us it's hard to take work anything but seriously, but I implore you: chill out. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

If you're reading this and you happen to be at work, you've already taken a step in the right direction. Don't let the man get you down. While you're avoiding work, it might be a good idea to start hoarding office supplies that you can sell on eBay when you get laid off.




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February 3rd, 2009
1st
(2)
also, what should next week's topic be?
February 4th, 2009
2nd
(4)
ROFLcon!
February 4th, 2009
5th
(15)
golden girls dvd box sets
February 4th, 2009
8th
(2)
Kingdom of Loathing
February 4th, 2009
11th
(0)
wait so is this the six part series? you just writing random sh*t hoping to cure my boredom...max you live the good life my friend.
February 4th, 2009
14th
(0)
"Paying my colleagues"
February 4th, 2009
16th
(0)
Drunk dishwashing
February 4th, 2009
19th
(6)
gr33nscr33n's girlfriend
February 4th, 2009
20th
(0)
1st person orange cheeto fingers fingering porno.
February 4th, 2009
22nd
(0)
sex or chess?
February 4th, 2009
25th
(0)
2009-02-03 13:32:30 .... WTF max, how is that possible. Also, topic should be something about puppies
February 4th, 2009
28th
(3)
How about Eric Bauman getting fired from Ebaums world. I find that funny
February 4th, 2009
29th
(-7)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-7)
Topic? Munchies: Causing people to treat Cheetos like an actual nutritional item since their first day at college with their funny smelling roommate.
February 4th, 2009
38th
(0)
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(0)
MOON MAN!
February 4th, 2009
40th
(3)
Next Week's Topic: Meteorites Penetrating Puppies
February 4th, 2009
42nd
(-1)
I stole a stapler
February 4th, 2009
50th
(3)
Senator John Kerry forgetting Poland.
February 4th, 2009
54th
(2)
Lindsay Lohan having wild lesbian sex with Maria Bartiromo.
February 4th, 2009
65th
(4)
KHAN EATING CHEETOS AND KIRK GOING KHAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN CAUSE KHAN STOLE THEM FROM HIM LOL
February 4th, 2009
71st
(0)
Lays potato chips
February 4th, 2009
73rd
(-1)
How you would like to make shirts again so I can by one...?
February 4th, 2009
76th
(0)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
Razor Gator.
February 4th, 2009
79th
(0)
tourneys?
February 4th, 2009
86th
(0)
Please use your next topic to discuss the wrongful actions of the ZVUE corperation against eBaum's. They did not treat us nicely.
February 4th, 2009
88th
(0)
Also, they took your Yiddish Cup with them
February 4th, 2009
95th
(0)
talk about how you can post a comment on an article thats written a day in the future
February 4th, 2009
97th
(0)
"also, what should next week's topic be?" The Larry Sanders Show.
February 4th, 2009
98th
(2)
topic should be hooker boots
February 4th, 2009
108th
(0)
JACKAL! JACKAL! JACKAL! IS IT A JACKAL? IT'S A JACKAL!
February 5th, 2009
121st
(0)
black people.
February 5th, 2009
128th
(0)
Cheetos.
February 5th, 2009
130th
(-2)
LAZYTOWN!!!!!!
February 5th, 2009
131st
(-1)
ppl having alts!!! ...jerks!
February 6th, 2009
146th
(4)
Funny topic suggestion
February 8th, 2009
172nd
(0)
substance abuse
February 8th, 2009
175th
(1)
Next week's topic should be how Obama is destroying this country by increasing the level of socialism.
February 9th, 2009
180th
(0)
bismuth.typefrag.com:33300 bismuth.typefrag.com:33300 bismuth.typefrag.com:33300 bismuth.typefrag.com:33300 VENTRILO
February 4th, 2009
3rd
(-1)
Hi
February 4th, 2009
4th
(0)
uhhhhhhh
February 4th, 2009
6th
(1)
cheetos up my butt
February 4th, 2009
7th
(2)
it aint easy bein cheesy
February 4th, 2009
9th
(-4)
[ comment is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-4)
inthefirst10
February 4th, 2009
10th
(1)
F*ck Jax. Cheetos rule.
February 4th, 2009
12th
(1)
Why didn't you drink grey goose instead of beer? Goose and tonic had to cost more than $4 each. You could have done less "work". (Although the vertical position thing may have been harder)
February 4th, 2009
68th
(0)
He had already started that night on beer. Too late to turn to liquor, unless he wanted painful repercussions.
February 4th, 2009
74th
(0)
Thats an urban legend.
February 4th, 2009
100th
(4)
grey goose is expensive. we're in the middle of a recession. i need to maximize my liquor-to-money ratio.
February 5th, 2009
122nd
(0)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anser_(genus)
February 5th, 2009
127th
(0)
Well, for your at home drinking, you can find a pretty good sized bottle of 151 vodka for under $15. It's nasty, yes, but GREAT liquor-to-money ratio!
February 5th, 2009
136th
(2)
i've been enjoying tito's lately. it's only around 15-20 a bottle and comparable to grey goose.
February 6th, 2009
152nd
(-1)
orloff baby.
February 7th, 2009
159th
(0)
recession? puhlease. You've banked over 6g's in ad revenue just from my contributions alone, so you might as well live it up for those that can't afford to.
February 7th, 2009
165th
(0)
tito's? never heard of it, i will have to try that.
February 8th, 2009
176th
(0)
Max, invest your money in gold before Washington destroys our dollar with their stupidity.
February 4th, 2009
13th
(0)
whats it like... y'know... being... with... an... employer?
February 4th, 2009
15th
(0)
"Those of you that are gainfully employed probably know what I mean." ah, the perils of working from home
February 4th, 2009
17th
(0)
So who was your Telemachos?
February 4th, 2009
18th
(5)
Reasons why i never made a cheetos site is because i think they are repulsive, the texture and sogginess. Doritos ftw ;)
February 4th, 2009
26th
(0)
I don't care for Cheetos either, but Nilocia apparently didn't know that: http://godfather3.ytmnd.com/
February 4th, 2009
30th
(0)
But... but... they're like long, crunchy pieces of cheese breakfast cereal.
February 4th, 2009
32nd
(0)
Sweet Chilli Heat!
February 4th, 2009
36th
(0)
Sweet Chili Heat = BEST DORITOS/CHIPS EVER.
February 4th, 2009
21st
(5)
lol remember like 3 years ago when you said t-shirts were coming soon?
February 4th, 2009
23rd
(-2)
February 4th, 2009
24th
(0)
oops, I hit the submit button by accident...so, did GordonFreman's site win?
February 4th, 2009
41st
(0)
RRRRR
February 4th, 2009
27th
(2)
but i like utz foods
February 4th, 2009
105th
(0)
THE SITE HAS BEEN ORANGE FOR EVA, A CONSPIRACY I SAY.
February 4th, 2009
31st
(3)
"After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." And on max's next news post, he'll say "PLEASE GO TAKE A SH*T SIR"
February 4th, 2009
37th
(0)
Yo es dinero.
February 4th, 2009
33rd
(0)
[ comment (and 3 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(0)
i appreciate your message about taking things more lightly in this country's rough times. Let me tell everyone what a hard time it is to graduate from college in December 2008 and suddenly become a Bachelor of Arts degree in Music Industry that pours coffee for his only current source of employment... but whatever. places will be hiring again someday. and in the meantime, i can still hit on all the girls that come in to my coffee shop
February 4th, 2009
34th
(0)
Before you eat it, analyze it. Touch me to see why.
February 4th, 2009
35th
(2)
Next week's topic: PETER NORTH.
February 4th, 2009
57th
(2)
^ appropriate username
February 4th, 2009
39th
(1)
Reading about max's problems with social anxiety and alcohol abuse suddenly gives me a craving for some kind of corn-based snack with artificial cheese flavoring... huh.
February 4th, 2009
43rd
(-1)
You forgot http://cheetostmnd.ytmnd.com/
February 4th, 2009
44th
(1)
So just cause I move to Spain and stop using the site you gotta go and unfeature me like that? I see how it is
February 4th, 2009
46th
(2)
I don't think anyone is featured anymore. You probably hit the back button or did something dumb.
February 4th, 2009
48th
(0)
LOL WAT
February 4th, 2009
49th
(1)
Us ex-featureds aren't really missing much. The whole featured users section has been demolished. The pinks are a dieing breed.
February 4th, 2009
62nd
(1)
Yeah it's kinda funny how max would remove pink status from someone who is on the first page of the highest rated users list.
February 4th, 2009
64th
(0)
Oh no wait.. I see what you did there max. Subtle.
February 5th, 2009
112th
(0)
OH SNAP! For greater effect, try substituting your usual smarminess with another comment where you try and slip in every effort possible to make yourself sound artsy and cultured.
February 5th, 2009
118th
(0)
like being "featured" meant anything besides having your ytmnd's in a special list
February 4th, 2009
47th
(8)
max, I found a picture of you smoking from a bong at a house party which I'm going to send to the mass media
February 4th, 2009
61st
(2)
coca-cola soda
February 4th, 2009
51st
(0)
At least it beats any losing fat ads, cheetos more for gaining weight, though..
February 4th, 2009
53rd
(1)
February 4th, 2009
55th
(2)
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1024499
February 4th, 2009
56th
(1)
There are worse things than cheetos on ytmnd??!??!?!?
February 4th, 2009
58th
(3)
"Ever heard of N***** stole my bike?" haha no is that new?
February 4th, 2009
59th
(2)
I just searched "ytmnd cheetos" in google out of curiosity and that came up.
February 4th, 2009
60th
(3)
lol newgrounds
February 4th, 2009
63rd
(6)
I remember when we were relevant
February 4th, 2009
75th
(1)
I remember when we pretended we were relevant
February 4th, 2009
66th
(-2)
I can't believe there's even a modicrum of hope left for ytmnd.
February 4th, 2009
67th
(3)
Max, please do something about Cumion and his alt downvoting
February 5th, 2009
119th
(-2)
QQQ
February 4th, 2009
69th
(-1)
[ comment (and 1 replies) is below rating threshold and has been hidden ]
(-1)
I'm going to be laid off soon. Death to the capitalism.
February 4th, 2009
70th
(3)
btw the white cheddar cheetos are for the discriminating nerd who would rather his fingers look as if they were covered in flecks of scaly dead flesh, rather than an orangey grit
February 4th, 2009
72nd
(0)
"I pulled up a stool and sat down for a long night of hard work." You are my hero.
February 4th, 2009
77th
(0)
tourneys!
February 4th, 2009
78th
(0)
/\ derp, wrong window
February 4th, 2009
80th
(0)
Ok
February 4th, 2009
81st
(2)
I was just laid off today. F*CK.
February 4th, 2009
82nd
(0)
Thanks for the link, max - I'm glad you liked my stupid site.
February 4th, 2009
85th
(0)
ZVUE have taken over our site and fired us, please send help.
February 4th, 2009
90th
(1)
max are you getting paid at all for this
February 4th, 2009
92nd
(11)
no dude, i just really like cheetos.
February 4th, 2009
93rd
(2)
well if you were, dude, i would suggest getting started on new YTMND shirts and perhaps coffee mugs and stickers? but more importantly shirts.
February 4th, 2009
99th
(0)
LOL stickers
February 4th, 2009
109th
(0)
Most not like them that much, considering the ads appear to be gone in under a day?
February 7th, 2009
157th
(0)
I want a sticker on my car that says I'm a proud YTMNDer. Or maybe just "lol, internet" ones. Those might be less embarrassing.
February 4th, 2009
94th
(1)
You should offer a cash prize of at least $20 to whoever you choose. This website would become nothing but a giant Cheetos advertisement. $ =$$$$
February 4th, 2009
96th
(-1)
д е ё ж з и ! lol
February 4th, 2009
101st
(0)
I only eat puffed cheetos, and i can't because they would get on my copy of Maximilianus Transylvanus
February 4th, 2009
106th
(0)
SELL OUT!
February 4th, 2009
110th
(0)
I haven't sold out, I haven't even been on MTV yet!
February 5th, 2009
111th
(0)
Naturally Intelligent Gonna Get That Ass
February 5th, 2009
116th
(1)
I wish I can eat Chettos.
February 5th, 2009
123rd
(0)
Frank's Red Hot, Child's Play or Valentine's Day
February 5th, 2009
124th
(1)
Totally posted this in the wrong spot...
February 5th, 2009
125th
(0)
Child's Play
February 5th, 2009
126th
(0)
brother, can you spare a codec? I just...saved ... over... my free ones that had the install deadlines to be legal.... ;~~~~((((
February 5th, 2009
132nd
(0)
You need to invent an expensive Cheeto flavoured liqueur. Better yet, a Rolo flavoured Liqueur!
February 5th, 2009
135th
(0)
I'm hungry. Lets get something to eat.
February 5th, 2009
139th
(3)
obscure seinfeld reference
February 5th, 2009
137th
(0)
You sold (prostituted) yourself out to Cheetos? Let me ask you, were the corporate businessmen courteous enough to use lubrication when they stuck their tiny capitalistic schmeckle up your ass? Were the butthole pleasures worth sacrificing the miniscule amount of respect that you received from the endangered species of intelligent YTMND users? And you don't give a damn about the money, right?
February 5th, 2009
138th
(0)
Well, atleast the funding that Cheetos gave you covered the costs of your zoloft, xanax, abillify, and klonopin prescriptions.
February 6th, 2009
140th
(0)
February 6th, 2009
141st
(2)
you've also forgotten to update the Copyright statement at the bottom of the page for the last three years
February 6th, 2009
142nd
(0)
which I guess kind of makes sense because that's about the time when the site kind of lost relevance
February 6th, 2009
143rd
(5)
and that brings us back to this whole Cheetos fiasco. How the hell did you manage to get an advertising deal like that? It's like MC Hammer doing commercials for Cash4Gold.com, only Cheetos is way more popular than Cash4Gold.com. Also, according to Google Trends, YTMND and MC Hammer are equally popular, which means we are as prominent as a burnt-out F-list broke celebrity that's referenced more as a punchline than a one-hit wonder 80's rap sensation
February 6th, 2009
144th
(0)
blah blah pessimism blah blah
February 6th, 2009
148th
(0)
OMG MC HAMMER DISSAAAAGE *runs*
February 6th, 2009
145th
(2)
also has anyone else noticed how easy it is to get a 4.7 rating these days? god dammit
February 6th, 2009
147th
(1)
I think it's a consequence of having lower traffic as much as NARVish behavior.
February 6th, 2009
149th
(0)
Am I evil for not enjoying cheetos?
February 6th, 2009
150th
(0)
no, you're evil for voting for BUSH-REAGAN
February 6th, 2009
153rd
(0)
Nutrionally balanced breakfasts
February 6th, 2009
154th
(0)
SUB4SUB
February 6th, 2009
156th
(0)
nobody commented
February 7th, 2009
158th
(0)
Any way I can customize my template to move the news updates down to the bottom of the page? Your updates always seem to be a rehash of the same old things. It's really depressing, I wish I could separate the self pitying Xanga entries from the rest of the site. -_-
February 7th, 2009
160th
(0)
I can prove my fingers aren't orange, but it hurts a little. BTW keaton, all I want to do now is here the music from this movie. Space Cop Shaider: The Movie
February 7th, 2009
161st
(0)
I can't believe its not turkey &tm;
February 7th, 2009
162nd
(2)
Bring Back The Old YTMND Shrits.
February 7th, 2009
163rd
(0)
agreed
February 7th, 2009
166th
(-2)
I wish to purchase your wares.
February 7th, 2009
167th
(0)
TakeYerShirtOff
February 8th, 2009
177th
(-1)
Aiello: No, go back sucking max's dick like the 08er you are.
February 9th, 2009
182nd
(-2)
GENTLEMEN.
February 7th, 2009
164th
(0)
This reminded me of YTMND: http://www.cornify.com/ You should totally add that code max.
February 8th, 2009
168th
(0)
WHOA okay I'm a little orange. Puffed only please.
February 8th, 2009
169th
(1)
wut are ye sellin'? Wut are ye buyin'?
February 9th, 2009
181st
(0)
Come back any time!
February 8th, 2009
170th
(0)
scurvy boots
February 8th, 2009
171st
(0)
1st.
February 8th, 2009
173rd
(0)
just one question... do you know what happens to the guy with the nicest boots? needs resolin'
February 8th, 2009
174th
(0)
Max, did you wear blue hair and red sunglasses to ROFLCON?
February 9th, 2009
178th
(0)
OKAY OKAY my grave is NOT ON MARS now I will shut up.
February 10th, 2009
183rd
(0)
~ CHEETOS.COM ~
February 13th, 2009
184th
(0)
thanks for this site