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You want to know how I got these scars? My father...was...a homo...and a queer. And one night, he goes off *gayer* than usual. Mommy gets the dildo to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So...me watching, he takes the dildo to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me, and he says, "Why so hetero!?" He comes at me with the dildo, "Why so hetero!?" He sticks the dildo in my mouth, "Let's put a smile on that FAGGOT!"

iyatsc

The Dark Knight + me

YUP

YOUturnmeon

Paul Oakenfold - Faster Kill Pussycat

Just something that rambled through my mind in the middle of calc homework... Someone finally bugged me enough to turn the loader on for this site The adgif logo will go away as soon as I find a better editor.

Russianexports

Dschinghis Khan - Moskau

YTMND has turned it's back on me and shat on my knee, hee hee hee

deliciousdinner

the world is dead to me

This took me a lot of time to make using the Forza 2 decal editor on 360. This is my second try and I think it turned out much better.

forza

A previous site

no description given.

turnmeon

Sex Bomb by Tom Jones & Mousse T

omgthiswasahardtitletomake

Kevin Lyttle

when the doctor visits the set of "honey we shrunk ourselves" on his "tour de 1997" he gets more than he bargained for! turns out the shrink ray was almost real! the doctor thought something suspicious was going on so he hid behind a plant until nightfall and then went to do some snooping around. he heard someone tinkering around in the backstage area it was rick morantis! he was pouring into the prop shrink ray some kind of clear blue liquid he was startled. who the hell are you he demanded. oh me well i'm the doctor he said all sly and shit. what are you doing with there? this is just ordinary window cleaner said rick. BULLSHIT i know depropifying fluid when i see it. you're gonna make that shrink ray REAL. WHY??? So I can shrink my humungous penis down to a normal size, said rink. I'm starting to get typecast. But your huge penis saves the planet in about 200 years, said the doctor. Once you finally except your penis for WHO YOU ARE you begin to make plastic molds of it around the world. then when the aliens come to destroy they can see all the giant dildos from OUTER SPACE and return home to figure out how to fight them. but they never make it home because they forgot to fuel up when they had the chance. rick says ok so why don't i just shrink my cock and then make huge dildos anyway? It doesn't work like that screamed the doctor! it's only in the honor of a LEGEND that they will wield their dildos so ferociously. so anyway they go back and fourth like this for a while but eventually he agrees not to shrink the dink. However he does notice a tiny piece of coconut on his upper lip and screams YOU STOLE MY MOUNDS BAR and turns the shrink ray on him and then pretends to go on a tour of the wheaties factory and drops him in a box marked "WHEATIES" iTHINK he explains all this to the guy having breakfast and they sort the whole thing out.

rpg

mario rpg

Oh, yes. Freud would be proud.

mothernatureisamilf

Herb Alpert - Rise

Superman agrees with a particular song by 3 Doors Down and finds it to be highly relatable. Upon listening for several hours, Superman finally realizes what he must do and calls up his talent agent and says, "Bob, I think I'm ready to do orange juice commercials." to which his talent agent responds, "Bullshit, we're mac and cheese people now... we don't do orange juice commercials. You had your window, but now it is closed because for 7 years you fought with me on it. You were just too afraid." Superman becomes enraged and screams into the phone, "I WASN'T SHIIIIT!" and shoves the receiver up his ass and orders Domino's pizza. But the pizza had too much garlic on it, and then raisins happened. And Gary Busey died. But it was only a movie in which the character Gary Busey was playing was killed. When Gary Busey realizes this, he turns inside out and enters a new undiscovered universe parallel to our own. Through this universe, Gary Busey is able to travel back in time and aid Superman into doing orange juice commercials. When Gary Busey finally convinces Superman to appear in a little number for Tropicana, but Deee-Lite shows up, then music happens. And Gary Busey dies for real. His last words: "It got too funky."

myfathertouchedmybutthole

tom's diner

come on guys i need your HELP to get me ~*FEATURES*~. lots of people are TURNING pink and i think i have been OVERLOOKS

vote55555

ME LOL

About 2 weeks ago I accidentally cut my fingernails too short and became extremely hungry. So I strolled down to McDonalds to get some double cheeseburgers and fries. When I began eating my fries, something horrible happened--the salt got all over my freshly cut nails and stung like a bitch. The fries were so damn good that I couldn't stop eating them despite the pain. Later on in the night, my hands began trembling in agony. The following morning I went to see the doctor for help, and when he finally got in and inspected my fingers his face turned ghost white; he lowered his glasses, stared me straight in the eye and said, "I'm... I'm sorry Famery-Gai, but there was just too much damn salt on those fries..." The doctor then turned around and got a sawzall out of the cupboard and jazzle-fuckered my arms off in a bloody mess. Needless to say, I can no longer use a computer without assistance. Luckily enough, I was able to hire an old woman from a homeless shelter--hopefully Grace will be willing to help me continue my ytmnd adventures. Or at least give me dirty handjobs.

exerciseTMND

There Isn't Any Time For Meatballs

Dough Boy's Turning Me On!

sexydoughboy

I Can't Leave 'Em Alone by 50 Cent ft. Ciara

[code]INTRO: In 2101, war was beginning... What happen? Someone set us up the bomb. We get signal. What? Main screen turn on... Because you know I'm all about your base, 'Bout your base, What happen? I'm all 'bout your base, 'bout your base, What happen? I'm all 'bout your base, 'bout your base, What happen? I'm all 'bout your base, 'bout your base, ha ha haaa Yeah it's pretty clear, someone set us up the bomb But we get signal, signal like I'm supposed to do 'Cause I got that move Zig that all the boys chase All the right bomb in the wave of destruction I see the main screen turn on, working that Photoshop We know that shit ain't real Someone set us up the bomb If you got move Zig just raise 'em up 'Cause you know what you doing take off every Zig Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size She says, you have no chance to survive make your time You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll, So, if that's what's you're into Then go ahead and move along What you say? Because you know I'm all about your base, 'Bout your base, What happen? I'm all 'bout your base, 'bout your base, What happen? I'm all 'bout your base, 'bout your base, What happen? I'm all 'bout your base, 'bout your base I'm bringin' destruction back Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches Hey No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat, But I'm here to tell ya You have no chance to survive make your time Yeah, my momma she told me you are on the wave of destruction She says, move Zig move Zig You know what you doing take off every Zig You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll, What you say? So, if that's what's you're into Then go ahead and move along It's you! How are you gentlemen? Ha! Ha! HAAAAAA! Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'Bout that bass, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base Because you know I'm all about that base, 'Bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base Because you know I'm all about that base, 'Bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base, no treble I'm all 'bout that base, 'bout that base [/code]

aaybr

dat base

Turbo or not my guns get hot Load the lead in the chamber and get ready for pop pop License to kill and you know I will Body armor ain't sh*t cuz I kill for the thrill Don't turn your back on me n*gg* Cuz I go straight for the trigger

strafetoheadshot

made it

This one time in Band Camp, I farted so hard that my balls exploded. Everything turned out OK thanks to Thom Skanks, who performed Emergency Testicle Re-attachment Surgery on me in front of the whole camp! We learned to fish, tie a knot and re-attach exploded nuts all in one crazy weekend I will never forget!

canyoufartsohardyourballsexplode

The most important question ever asked to mankind...

Hagman died on November 23, 2012, at Medical City Dallas Hospital in Dallas following complications from throat cancer. In a statement to the Dallas Morning News, Hagman's family said: "Larry's family and close friends had joined him in Dallas for the Thanksgiving holiday. When he passed, he was surrounded by loved ones. It was a peaceful passing, just as he had wished for." The New York Times described him as "one of television's most beloved villains". Actress Linda Gray, who played Sue Ellen Ewing on Dallas, called Hagman her "best friend for 35 years", and was at his bedside when he died, her agent told the BBC. In a statement, she said: "He was the Pied Piper of life and brought joy to everyone he knew. He was creative, generous, funny, loving and talented and I will miss him enormously. He was an original and lived life to the fullest." Actor Patrick Duffy, who played Bobby Ewing on Dallas, was also at his bedside when he died. In a statement, he said: "Friday I lost one of the greatest friends ever to grace my life. The loneliness is only what is difficult, as Larry’s peace and comfort is always what is important to me, now as when he was here. He was a fighter in the gentlest way, against his obstacles and for his friends. I wear his friendship with honor." Actress Charlene Tilton, who played Lucy Ewing Cooper on Dallas, referred to Hagman as her surrogate uncle and father, who was also at his bedside when he died. In a statement, she said: "At seventeen years old my life took a turn that one could only dream of. I was cast as Lucy Ewing in the iconic show Dallas. Dallas was so much more than a television phenomenon to me. It was my family. I grew up with a mentally ill single mother raising me and no father figure in my life. I lived on my own in an apartment from the age of fifteen. I remember the day I met the force of nature that is Larry Hagman like it was yesterday. (It was actually 35 years ago). My Uncle Larry became the father figure that I so needed and longed for. He taught me how to be professional, work hard but have fun at the same time, and how to respect the opportunities I was blessed to have been given. He was very protective because I was so young, but also expected the best from me on the set of Dallas. He was one of the best actors the world has ever known. To me he will always be my Uncle Larry. I am so so very sad, but cherish the lifetime of memories I have with him.

throatcancer

Youtube to mp3 converter

You're quite good at turning me on.

mrburnsturnsmeon

Moon man has the tables turned on him... me might not be the one doing the raping this time. DRAMA!

butthelotiononthemoon

S.o.t.L, Greenskeepers, Moon man himself

MinkaXXX/Michelle Kim (Number One Asian Big Boob Queen, Satin, Shanghai Sally, & Unhee Aptekar) is an Korean-American award-winning porn star, adult model and former exotic dancer. Minka is billed as being the largest breasted Asian woman in the world. She is entitled as the "Bountiful Beautiful Asian" on her official website. Minka has had a long and successful career in the adult entertainment industry, spanning over 25 years and counting with many awards and a membership in the Erotica Hall of Fame. Minka possesses a tight, slim and athletic body with a massive chest. Minka was born to Korean parents of French and Vietnamese ancestry in Seoul, South Korea. Minka attended college in South Korea, where she became a skilled tennis player. After graduating, Minka went to the United States in 1993 to compete in the Asian Olympics in Chicago, Illinois. There she and her partner won the Gold Medal in women's doubles. Minka established residence in the United States and wanted to become a professional tennis instructor, but she wasn't able to pass her license exam because of her poor English skills. Minka turned to modeling, after her former tennis partner suggested to turn to modeling because of her attractive shape. Eventually, Minka sent a portfolio of images of herself to British adult photographer/film director John Graham. About a week after sending her photos, Minka was on her way to England to meet Graham and start her modeling career. Graham also referred Minka to Universal Entertainment, an adult talent agency. Minka’s first photoshoot was shot by Graham in England for the American Score magazine. In 1994, Minka went back to the United States, where she continued to pose for Score, toured as an exotic dancer and starred in her first adult film Duke of Knockers 2, which was also directed by Graham. Throughout the 1990’s and 2000’s, Minka posed for Score, Gent, Buxotica, Oriental Dolls, D-Cup and starred in over 30 films. Throughout her career, Minka received many honors and awards. In promotion of her image, Minka appeared on many television shows. In 1997, Minka appeared on The Jerry Springer Show in an episode titled "Big-Busted Strippers!", with fellow big-bust entertainers Candy Andes, Kayla Kleevage, Lisa Lipps, Mesha Lynn and Crystal Storm. In 1999, Minka was a guest on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, on which she participated in a toe-sucking sketch. Minka was frequently referred to as the "number one Asian big boob queen" by radio personality Adam Carolla on Loveline where she appeared as a guest in December 2000. On the 2007 television show Manswers on Spike TV, one topic was who had the biggest boobs in the world. Minka was listed as one of the possibilities. The show eventually chose Maxi Mounds because of her Guinness World Record. Minka possesses a tanned, slim, and athletic body with extremely large breasts. Minka acquired her 54KKK breasts through several breast augmentations in the mid-1990’s from a F cup to KKK cup. Her latest implants were polypropylene string breast implants, also used by big-bust stars Chelsea Charms and Maxi Mounds (among others) to achieve exceptionally-large bust sizes. Minka has a bra cup-size reported as 55KKK. She claims her breasts weigh 13.5 pounds (6.1 kg) each. Because of her polypropylene implants, her breasts gradually continue to grow. In early 2009, Minka appeared in an interview on the British Channel 4’s The World’s Most Enhanced Woman And Me, in which Minka said that she may have a breast reduction in 2011 or 2012.

MichelleKim

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL600EA208114FF03F

Hello, Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on.

turnonburns

Psych! This is actually a film still from the set of the new lifetime original film strip entitled, "Ghostbusters 3: This time they actually ARE exterminators!" And yes it is one hell of a cockroach, bite yer head off man, as you can imagine. George Cloony does a cameo where the "sterminators" (short for exterminators) are balls busy in a termite invested outhouse, when he walks in to take a shit and Venkman puts down his beer and says, "Shit man, you got like a rat on your head." Cloony says, "WTF I thought it was something. Would you mind hitting me with one of them protons?" "Sorry dude, best I can do is spray it in the eyes with this weed killer. but it's probly just piss it off real bad and well you'd be in trouble." "I don't care damnit just give me the damn treatment!" Then Louis steps in and says, "Hey you, you can't talk to the Orkin Man that way!", and throws a yellow corn chip with really hot nacho cheese on it right in the mink's eyes and it goes crazy. Cloony runs out with shit running down his leg. The termites eat his brain. It's really gay though because he comes back at the end of the movie and he's like, "Oh hey guys, turns out the stink of hot cheese and the smell of human shit was too much for the little guy and he ran off. So I have like a court order here for you guys to get sued by me, so you guys gotta go to court and face that judge, you remember, from Ghostbusters 2, and he's gonna like, throw the book or whatever. They all just looked at each other and there was a long silence, and then a bunch of termites started eating through his stomach from the inside. He was dead that time for sure. Should be a good movie, it's gonna be shown in Cloony-Vision whatever that is.

punxsutawney

That way I can prevent them from being titillated or aroused or in any way confused by the counter-culture.

no description given.

muscurriedbaybee

Keri Hilson & Lil Wayne - Turning Me On

TURN ME ON TURN ME ON TURN ME ON TURN ME ON

comeonandturnmeon

Nicki Minaj - Turn Me On

no description given.

mouseclit

Quagmire

Directions: If you vote, you are a cockf*g.

pantiesgloriouspanties

ME w/ tv turned on to Conan

Rave me!! Please ignore the text in the upper-right corner of the GIF...

orientalrave

It Turns Me On (Extended Mix) - Mad Scientists

burns, smithers, gay, simpson, simpsons, on, turn, me

montyturnsiton

お早うございます。今日はラーメンを作ります。楽しみですね。じゃ、始めましょう。 I still masturbate while eating top ramen At a faster rate in the bigger quantities It counts as rape when I'm slurping at this unbelievable pace I turn the temperature up all the way sweat up on my face If you give no effort If you got no money Then i got a cheap method Crack it open throw it in a pan and let it cook bitch Now thats a real education fuck books If you wanna make in college acknowledge All the flavors that be dropping Mad knowledge on these pussy ass canned goods We got chicken and beef to boost the manhood Anybody want a piece of me will have to get this ramen first Start with the shrimp and then the fire If you're fully blazed then this shit'll get you higher Thirty-five cents a pack, three for a dollar Unbelievable pricing thats the future of a blue collar worker And I'm talkin' bout ramen This shit'll fill you up when you're feeling like an African Come back when you're in the state that I'm in And say hi to my homeboy top ramen.

ramenking

found airhorn sound on youtube

It's alright to tell me What you think about me I won't try to argue Or hold it against you I know that you're leaving You must have your reasons The season is calling Your pictures are falling down The steps that I retrace The sad look on your face The timing and structure Did you hear he fucked her? A day late, a buck short I'm writing the report On losing and failing When I move, I'm flailing now And it's happened once again I'll turn to a friend Someone that understands And sees through the master plan But everybody's gone And I've been here for too long To face this on my own Well, I guess this is growing up Well, I guess this is growing up And maybe I'll see you At a movie sneak preview You'll show up and walk by On the arm of that guy And I'll smile and you'll wave We'll pretend it's okay This charade, it won't last When he's gone, I won't come back And it'll happen once again You'll turn to a friend Someone that understands And sees through the master plan But everybody's gone And you've been here for too long To face this on your own Well, I guess this is growing up Well, I guess this is growing up Well, I guess this is growing up Well, I guess this is growing up Well, I guess this is growing up Well, I guess this is growing up

GODFUCKINGDAMM

dammit by blink 182